Have you ever discovered some shocking family secrets?

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  • sofieellissofieellis Posts: 10,327
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    Sorry for dragging up this old thread, but in addition to my lovely cousin, the murderer's accomplice, I have now discovered that my Great Grandfather was given a 12 month jail sentence in the 1880s for manslaughter. he killed a man (his brother's wife's mother's ex-partner!) in a drunken fight.

    His wife, my Great Grandmother, gave birth to their third child, 2 days later - so either he was out to get drunk because she was in labour, or the shock sent her into labour when she heard what had happened :eek:

    My Great Grandparents remained together and had lots more children, including my Granny.
  • RAINBOWGIRL22RAINBOWGIRL22 Posts: 24,459
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    When I was 13 I discovered my Grandad (Dad's father) was not our biological Grandad.... The situation was explained to me - my Nan had two kids and was beaten on a daily basis by her first husband so she left him (unheard of in the early 60's) She then met my Grandad and went on to have another baby!

    My Dad only changed his name before marrying my Mum in the late 70's as he wanted his wife to have his "Dad's" name {and not the name of the bastard who used to bash his Mum up!!}

    It never for one moment affected how I felt about my Grandad - I think I loved him even more for being willing to take my Nan and two kids on when it just simply wasn't the 'done thing' in those days. We lost my Nan years ago and sadly just last year we lost my Grandad too... What a guy he was though :D
  • SecretSmilerSecretSmiler Posts: 1,015
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    we discovered that my grandmother was sent to Canada aged 14 with other waifs and strays (mother had died and dad couldnt cope with six children) but came back 5 months later pregnant. (my mother)

    We cant find out what happened and she never mentioned it when she was alive.
  • HogzillaHogzilla Posts: 24,116
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    Ah lots of them. My great grandfather has many affairs and numerous illegitimate children, and eventually died of a heart attack at his latest mistress's house. My grandad was also a jack the lad and my dad always said he ahd numerous half brothers and sisters he never met or knew nothing about (my dad was an only child, to the marriage), but he had heard my grandad had one of the boys called Peter. Which the legitimate family found hilarious as it was also the name of his horse.:D If you're called Peter, from Leeds, born in the 1930s and don;t know who your dad is - nothing to do with us.:D

    My own dad was a real gentleman though - no scandal at all. He was never embarrassed by his dad and grandad - found it funny.

    As a genealogist, I live in dread of these relatives finding us one day on Ancestry or Genes Reunited. I have spoken to people in the family and said if any of them track us down we're going to deny all knowledge.:)

    I have found loads of illegitimate ancesotrs - two of my great grandparents were foundlings dumped at orphanages and another was an illegitimate baby farmed out on a rellie. When I look at parish records in the 19thC I often find whilst there's not a lot of illegitimacy in the direct line, they often have siblings who seem to have illegitimate babies.

    Sometimes I have to be the bearer of bad news to other people who find me as a genealogist. It's hard to do that diplomatically as people always think of their own ancestors as saints.:D

    Amongst my grandad's papers there is one short form birth certificate. Because it's short form I can't see the father's name, but I'd imagine it's my grandad. This kid was younger than me.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,939
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    It can be an eye opener. I discovered a scandal so bizare that it could have come from a soap opera. How I didn't know it was going on at the time baffles me.
  • Button62Button62 Posts: 8,463
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    Whilst doing my family tree I found out that my great great grandfather died in the workhouse despite being survived by 7 of his 10 children.

    That made me kind of sad.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,934
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    My great grand-uncle (think that's right - my great-grandfather's brother) got five years for attempted murder when he tried to poison his first wife.
    She died of unrelated causes a couple of years after he started his sentence, so if the silly sod had just waited, he would have been shot of her in any case.

    He had been planning to run off to New York with a girl he met on a tram, but strangely enough after she found out that he was married and was up for attempted murder, she seems to have gone off him.

    Still, according to the BMD database, he was married again within a month of getting out of prison.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,396
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    When I was researching my family tree I uncovered at least 3 never before talked about relations. But the biggest shock was that an uncle ( who was only about 5'4" and 9 stone) and very creepy looking was jailed for child abuse to all his 5 children. I think it was for violence rather than sexual abuse. One of his daughters told me about it a couple of years ago.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 11,934
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    Here's a fun tip: all the Old Bailey records are online now - go to the site, enter your surname, and see if anything "interesting" turns up.
  • HogzillaHogzilla Posts: 24,116
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    I also found my two grt grt uncles were done for arson. One turned Queen's Evidence on the other and so one walked away a free man - the other got sentenced to death.

    They tried to burn down a thatched farmhouse with a family inside - all got out in time and no-one was killed or injured. The family in the farmhouse they later married into (no hard feelings then). They succeeded in burning down another farmer's barn and killed two foals.

    The death sentence got commtued to transportation and he ended up a Lifer in Tasmania.

    His sentence was only commuted because it was christmas. He would have been in the death cell at York Castle. Two days after his sentence was commuted, the other bloke sentenced to death at the same time as him (for murder), hung.

    He claimed to be 19 but I found his baptism record and he was only 17 at the time.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 395
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    Didn't meet my real dad until I was 18 and found out I had 3 half brothers. Sad thing is he chose not to tell them about me (they still don't know) and now (18 years later) they may have a family and I have 3 daughters so it would be lovely to all meet up.

    I think they may live locally but I feel its not my place to tell them. :(
  • MrsceeMrscee Posts: 5,271
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    I always knew my mother was adopted but she has been dead for many years..along with my granparents..so when asking about the adoption to living family members they all suddenly go quiet and say it wasn't something they talked about in 'those days'..so of course that has made me very curious about why they wont talk about an adoption..all I wanted to know was where she was adopted from and if they knew anything..all they had to say was no they didn't know anything but they made it seem like something is there
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 586
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    The most shocking and cruel family secret I ever discovered was that:

    I am not adopted!!!

    Oh the shame, how could I be related to that awful mob?
  • Nia70Nia70 Posts: 573
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    Well its not exactly a secret as he is well and truly open about it but the guy in this video clip is my dads cousin.. really quite shocking and embarrassing, Im quite pleased I have never met him LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJdOvrW_zKk
  • GreenJellyJamGreenJellyJam Posts: 1,634
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    My mum's mother has been missing since the 70's the last person to see her alive and who told my mum and her siblings that she had left was my granddad, at the time my grandmother was an alcoholic who suffered with mental health issues and apparently she left my granddad for another man.

    For a long time I believed my mum's stepmum was my biological grandmother.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,041
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    I found out my dad dated one of my aunties before getting together with my mum. My auntie was so jealous she stabbed my mum in the leg with her stiletto.
  • sofieellissofieellis Posts: 10,327
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    I'm really glad I dug this old thread up now, it's nice to know I'm not the only one with criminals in the family :D
  • wenchwench Posts: 8,928
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    FOund out at the age of 27 that my father was not in fact my biological father and my mum had numerous affairs during their marriage. It didn't shock me at all as I knew deep down I didn't "belong" to my family for various reasons but it did explain SOOO much!

    My cousin had a back street abortion at 7 months gone, she nearly died as a result.

    My uncle was a coke addict and when my other uncles found out they kidnapped him and locked him in a room to go through cold turkey until he "recovered".
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 2,119
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    Nia70 wrote: »
    Well its not exactly a secret as he is well and truly open about it but the guy in this video clip is my dads cousin.. really quite shocking and embarrassing, Im quite pleased I have never met him LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJdOvrW_zKk

    omg i remember watching this when it was on..oh well he has to be related to some one i suppose, i am guessing him and his 'girlfriends' dont get invited to many family parties though lol
  • Uncle FesterUncle Fester Posts: 15,357
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    No big deal these days but ,
    I was 24 when we got married 2 months later my wife started to miscarry , my mother called the doctor and they both went in to see my wife , after about 15 mind my mam came out and gave me a right smack in the face , the big mouth doctor said my wife was 3 months pregnant , we were classed as very bad , still we got our 50 up in 2 weeks
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 553
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    I am actually holding the big secret.

    I have no intention of ever revealing it.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 983
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    Nia70 wrote: »
    Well its not exactly a secret as he is well and truly open about it but the guy in this video clip is my dads cousin.. really quite shocking and embarrassing, Im quite pleased I have never met him LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJdOvrW_zKk

    I remember watching that too - shocking, and no I guess there's not enough room round the table at christmas for all of his chicks!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 553
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    Mrscee wrote: »
    I always knew my mother was adopted but she has been dead for many years..along with my granparents..so when asking about the adoption to living family members they all suddenly go quiet and say it wasn't something they talked about in 'those days'..so of course that has made me very curious about why they wont talk about an adoption..all I wanted to know was where she was adopted from and if they knew anything..all they had to say was no they didn't know anything but they made it seem like something is there

    It depends how old you are to be honest.

    In post war days there were a lot of babies born without fathers for whatever reason. Instead of going through the legal channels the babies were usually 'adopted' in house. They were given to friends or to older, married family members.

    You may find that your mum's real mother was a family member, perhaps one of her older sisters? Or an Aunty? If you wanted to really dig I'd say find out which of your family members was married at the time of her birth, or within a short period after.

    I have also heard of women who kept their babies post war, but who were then forced to give them up in order to marry somebody. Again, these babies usually stayed 'in house'.
  • marc822marc822 Posts: 3,118
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    My uncle is only my half uncle. My nan was having it away with a german during the war...so the story goes.
    I only found out when my grandad died and the funeral guy asked how long they had been married and it didnt match with his age, so i asked more questions and it all came out.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 983
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    I was given my Nanna's engagement and wedding rings when she died - years later I had a proper look at them and noticed that the date of the wedding was engraved inside the wedding ring. My Mum was 9 at the time of the wedding. Turns out that Grandad Joe wasn't my Mum's Dad. Her real Dad died when she was a baby, but always called Grandad Joe Dad, as she said he was her "Dad".
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