Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)

1104105107109110131

Comments

  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    lozenger wrote: »
    A very Happy New Year to all CoCers both old and new :):)

    I have been away for a few weeks and only just catching up.

    Saw lots of Chawner-sized folk at the Orlando theme parks I wondered how half of them fitted on the rides!

    I am intrigued by Emma's job and the latest Alicia pic on Phil's FB - are there any more updates? Is anyone still FB friends with Phil or has he blocked everyone?

    Welcome back Loz, I hope you all had a wonderful time. See the Chawners can't be quiet for long, there's always something going on.
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Welcome back Loz!!! I hope you did a lot of Chawner-spotting while you were away :D I bet your photo album is full of this :D

    Ah man, I went to bed about 8:30pm, dosed on and off and now I'm fully awake. Doing a few other things, but thought I'd get onto Hulu and watch the first ever episode of Big Fat Challenge as I've never seen it. I have to say, I lurve this sexy number that Phil has on. Why doesn't he ever wear it again??? Sam's already going on about how she loves doing her friends' hair. These must be the invisible friends eh?
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    kiviraat wrote: »
    Welcome back Loz!!! I hope you did a lot of Chawner-spotting while you were away :D I bet your photo album is full of this :D

    Ah man, I went to bed about 8:30pm, dosed on and off and now I'm fully awake. Doing a few other things, but thought I'd get onto Hulu and watch the first ever episode of Big Fat Challenge as I've never seen it. I have to say, I lurve this sexy number that Phil has on. Why doesn't he ever wear it again??? Sam's already going on about how she loves doing her friends' hair. These must be the invisible friends eh?

    Surely that's Aud's top and he's borrowed it for the filming. This is before he bought( or was given) his favourite purple shirt.
  • dorahalldorahall Posts: 1,296
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    greengran wrote: »
    Surely that's Aud's top and he's borrowed it for the filming. This is before he bought( or was given) his favourite purple shirt.
    I'm sure I've seen Aud wearing that blouse. Wow, who'd have thought it, Philip Chawner is a cross-dresser. He makes Alex Reid's alter-ego, Roxanne, look very attractive.:D I wonder what Phil's lady name is? Lady Pip?
  • dorahalldorahall Posts: 1,296
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    It's bad news week In Chawnerville (though I doubt any of them read the Financial Times, so are probably blissfully unaware)

    http://i.imgur.com/de2I4.jpg
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    greengran wrote: »
    Surely that's Aud's top and he's borrowed it for the filming. This is before he bought( or was given) his favourite purple shirt.
    dorahall wrote: »
    I'm sure I've seen Aud wearing that blouse. Wow, who'd have thought it, Philip Chawner is a cross-dresser. He makes Alex Reid's alter-ego, Roxanne, look very attractive.:D I wonder what Phil's lady name is? Lady Pip?

    :D:D:D Is that why Aud doesn't bother with a bra anymore? Is Philth wearing it?? (they probably are a similar size in the moob dept ;)) God that bra in the first episode was disgusting! :eek:
    dorahall wrote: »
    It's bad news week In Chawnerville (though I doubt any of them read the Financial Times, so are probably blissfully unaware)

    http://i.imgur.com/de2I4.jpg

    I heard that on the radio this morning! How are they going to properly distinguish between who is slovenly and who is actually bigger due to illness/medication? The Chubbs will obviously get out of it as they'll say they're fat due to illness and "Ooh, me poor heart. Ooooh..." (I also loved how Aud called the doctor a friend - the doc probably slams their head off the desk when they see that they're coming in!!). I did agree with that comment about how you're gonna tell if they're actually doing anything at the gym. All you'd have to do is walk in, sit on a chair and do bugger all.

    I'm classed as obese, but you wouldn't think it to look at me, and I'm very active (well, when I've not went mental! :D) I'd love to see them docking FatCat expenses instead if they don't lose weight. Bunch of gits. I'll save that argument for another day though.
  • Fraudrey CFraudrey C Posts: 292
    Forum Member
    Been chawning out in front of Hulu watching every eposode of LK's big fat waste of oxygen, i even sat in my own piss just to get a feel for having my own reality show. OMFG is all i can say. Aud is the reason they are all so unmotivated, what a slovenly waste of organs.
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Fraudrey C wrote: »
    Been chawning out in front of Hulu watching every eposode of LK's big fat waste of oxygen, i even sat in my own piss just to get a feel for having my own reality show. OMFG is all i can say. Aud is the reason they are all so unmotivated, what a slovenly waste of organs.

    I read that obese people on benefits are going to have them cut unless they exercise and lose weight. Does that mean all the Chawners will be back at the gym and working hard to get the pounds off? If not, it will definitely muck up their money.:eek:
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    I'm still desperate to know EXACTLY what they eat in a day. How many calories do they genuinely put away when the cameras aren't rolling? (not that they put much less away when they're not :D)

    Think I'll watch a few more episodes on Hulu tonight (I shall not be pigging out though)
  • dorahalldorahall Posts: 1,296
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Seeing as Sam put on 17lbs in a mere 5 weeks, I'd hazard a guess they eat rather more than they claim to - a bowl of cereal, some fruit and yoghurt and a Weight Watcher's ready meal.
  • greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    dorahall wrote: »
    Seeing as Sam put on 17lbs in a mere 5 weeks, I'd hazard a guess they eat rather more than they claim to - a bowl of cereal, some fruit and yoghurt and a Weight Watcher's ready meal.

    And that's just the snacks. Then there's the sausages, cos there's not much else is there, the trifle, the hot cross buns and the crisps and fizzy drinks.plus if Sam is still waitressing there's all the food she brings home and makes them eat.
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    dorahall wrote: »
    Seeing as Sam put on 17lbs in a mere 5 weeks, I'd hazard a guess they eat rather more than they claim to - a bowl of cereal, some fruit and yoghurt and a Weight Watcher's ready meal.

    That is one hell of an amount to put back in in 5 weeks. That's what, just over 3lbs a week? :eek:
    greengran wrote: »
    And that's just the snacks. Then there's the sausages, cos there's not much else is there, the trifle, the hot cross buns and the crisps and fizzy drinks.plus if Sam is still waitressing there's all the food she brings home and makes them eat.

    I wonder if she is allowed to bring things home. The saddest day of my life was when my OH's brother was no longer allowed to bring left over KFC home for me to devour :( Bah!

    Watched the episode last night where Phil threw his hissy fit cos he wasn't going to France. Quite scary thing is I could see my OH's dad shine through when Phil was like that. How can people actually be like that :eek: That woman in France was a bit mental though wasn't she, for those that remember her? :D Did Phil think the girls were going on a holiday or something? A wee bit of exercise then it's off to the Eiffel Tower and Champs-Elysées for some sightseeing??? Nowt stopping him from getting the train to France for a few days. What a miserable cu Next Tuesday he is!
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    kiviraat wrote: »
    That is one hell of an amount to put back in in 5 weeks. That's what, just over 3lbs a week? :eek:



    I wonder if she is allowed to bring things home. The saddest day of my life was when my OH's brother was no longer allowed to bring left over KFC home for me to devour :( Bah!

    Watched the episode last night where Phil threw his hissy fit cos he wasn't going to France. Quite scary thing is I could see my OH's dad shine through when Phil was like that. How can people actually be like that :eek: That woman in France was a bit mental though wasn't she, for those that remember her? :D Did Phil think the girls were going on a holiday or something? A wee bit of exercise then it's off to the Eiffel Tower and Champs-Elysées for some sightseeing??? Nowt stopping him from getting the train to France for a few days. What a miserable cu Next Tuesday he is!

    Eurostar seats are snug, so I doubt he'd fit......;)

    Then there's the little matter of a passport and medical insurance.
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Eurostar seats are snug, so I doubt he'd fit......;)

    Then there's the little matter of a passport and medical insurance.

    If they can afford all those sausages and laptops, they can afford passports! I'm sure Phil would be happy going with nowt but an e111 card (or whatever it's called now). They don't exactly stand at the border and demand to see your insurance documents. They could take the car and make a week of it. Think of all the cheese and funny tasting sausages he could smuggle back under his moobs ;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 29
    Forum Member
    kiviraat wrote: »
    If they can afford all those sausages and laptops, they can afford passports! I'm sure Phil would be happy going with nowt but an e111 card (or whatever it's called now). They don't exactly stand at the border and demand to see your insurance documents. They could take the car and make a week of it. Think of all the cheese and funny tasting sausages he could smuggle back under his moobs ;)

    Just no need!!!!

    What does the phrase 'Smell my Cheese' mean?
  • lozengerlozenger Posts: 4,881
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    New Obesity quick-fix invented by scientists in USA.

    It's truly a Chawner dream come true - basically you can eat what you like and then plug in a machine to suck most of the food out of your stomach before you digest it.

    You think I am joking right? Seriously you couldn't make this up.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2258830/Can-stomach-New-pump-sucks-food-straight-belly-dieters-eat-want-digesting-calories.html

    Who's going to buy the Chawners one each for their Birthdays?

    (Warning - do not view before eating. Or after)
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    lozenger wrote: »
    New Obesity quick-fix invented by scientists in USA.

    It's truly a Chawner dream come true - basically you can eat what you like and then plug in a machine to suck most of the food out of your stomach before you digest it.

    You think I am joking right? Seriously you couldn't make this up.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2258830/Can-stomach-New-pump-sucks-food-straight-belly-dieters-eat-want-digesting-calories.html

    Who's going to buy the Chawners one each for their Birthdays?

    (Warning - do not view before eating. Or after)

    :eek: Sounds like a Chawner's dream come true! I see it only sooks a third of your dinner out of you though, so the Chawns will still be well overweight :D Can't someone just give them some Orlistat? They'd be fighting each other for the bog like a family with the runs in Magaluf :D
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    kiviraat wrote: »
    :eek: Sounds like a Chawner's dream come true! I see it only sooks a third of your dinner out of you though, so the Chawns will still be well overweight :D Can't someone just give them some Orlistat? They'd be fighting each other for the bog like a family with the runs in Magaluf :D

    As Aud takes five minutes to crawl up the stairs I dread to think of the resulting mess they'll make in rushing for the loo - they'd all have to wear adult nappies!

    *sorry if anyone's just had their tea!*
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    As Aud takes five minutes to crawl up the stairs I dread to think of the resulting mess they'll make in rushing for the loo - they'd all have to wear adult nappies!

    *sorry if anyone's just had their tea!*

    :D I'm surprised she doesn't wear one to be honest! I mean, she's sat on towels before, so what's the difference? :p I know I shouldn't laugh at incontinence, but seriously, she's brought it on herself. I dread to think of her on Orlistat. The sofa would need to be clingfilmed and sprayed with Scotchguard :eek:
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    kiviraat wrote: »
    :D I'm surprised she doesn't wear one to be honest! I mean, she's sat on towels before, so what's the difference? :p I know I shouldn't laugh at incontinence, but seriously, she's brought it on herself. I dread to think of her on Orlistat. The sofa would need to be clingfilmed and sprayed with Scotchguard :eek:

    Mind you, reading about Orlistat's side effects it sounds as if normal people would have to wear some form of protection in order to avoid oily 'downstairs' stains......:D
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Mind you, reading about Orlistat's side effects it sounds as if normal people would have to wear some form of protection in order to avoid oily 'downstairs' stains......:D

    One of my mates was on it for a while and was dead proud of the erm, 'colours' she managed to achieve on the throne! Mind you, she was no longer able to enjoy a good guff every now and then as it was a dangerous idea :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 766
    Forum Member
    ✭✭
    lozenger wrote: »
    New Obesity quick-fix invented by scientists in USA.

    It's truly a Chawner dream come true - basically you can eat what you like and then plug in a machine to suck most of the food out of your stomach before you digest it.

    You think I am joking right? Seriously you couldn't make this up.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2258830/Can-stomach-New-pump-sucks-food-straight-belly-dieters-eat-want-digesting-calories.html

    Who's going to buy the Chawners one each for their Birthdays?

    (Warning - do not view before eating. Or after)
    That is a revolting device. It's almost promoting bulimia but without the need for vomiting. :eek:
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
    Forum Member
    ✭✭✭
    Stammy75 wrote: »
    That is a revolting device. It's almost promoting bulimia but without the need for vomiting. :eek:

    It truly is disgusting :eek: What I've never understood about grossly obese people is how they actually get their hands on the food that's killing them if they can't even get out of bed. Surely not every child/carer etc is willing to participate, or do they do what the person wants because they think it will show that they love them? What a strange and saddening world to be in.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
    Forum Member
    Helloo - I have not been on in ages, but have just caught up with everything. I am still 'friends' with Philth on FB, but he doesn't seem to say much. As to him having 'rights' to see his grandchild he is sadly mistaken. Grandparents have absolutely no rights to access to grandchildren. However, it will keep him busy trying lol!!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
    Forum Member
    And while I am on a roll - how come benefit fraud investigators seem to stake out and record people claiming benefits after a tip-off, when the Chawners have been parading their, alleged, fraud on tv for all to see and nothing happens??
Sign In or Register to comment.