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My mother is really getting on my nerves at the moment.
Shadowmaiden
Posts: 3,030 Forum Member
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I know this is really an awful thing to say, but she's driving me crazy at the moment. I feel im constantly being picked on and can't do anything right:(
Im the only other person in the house during the day and I dunno maybe its because im just there and so she lashes out at me, but its not fair and im sick to the back teeth of it. Ive been biting my tongue but I swear im gonna really lose it with her soon.
Just now Ive had a snidey comment directed at me because its raining and I hadn't brought the washing inside. Well firstly I didn't even know there was any washing on the line and secondly I didn't even know it was raining. Which I pointed out and also asked her why she'd put it out when they have been forecasting rain all day and she just snapped at me 'it wasn't raining when I went out'.
Everything is my fault. The cat was sick the other day and that was my fault. When I do things for her its never bloody right, last week she moaned at me because I hadn't folded some washing properly, when I empty the dishwasher I apparently always put things back in the wrong place, so now Ive resolved to just let her do it herself:rolleyes:
She moans when I ask her not to make me any tea because im not hungry, but then she'd also moan if she cooked it and I turned round and said I didn't want it. I can't win
If its not this she's telling me what to do, barging into my room without locking (now stopped as Ive got a lock on the door) telling me what job I should do etc Ive just had enough.
I just want to walk out of the front door and not come back. Has anyone else had to put up with this?
Im the only other person in the house during the day and I dunno maybe its because im just there and so she lashes out at me, but its not fair and im sick to the back teeth of it. Ive been biting my tongue but I swear im gonna really lose it with her soon.
Just now Ive had a snidey comment directed at me because its raining and I hadn't brought the washing inside. Well firstly I didn't even know there was any washing on the line and secondly I didn't even know it was raining. Which I pointed out and also asked her why she'd put it out when they have been forecasting rain all day and she just snapped at me 'it wasn't raining when I went out'.
Everything is my fault. The cat was sick the other day and that was my fault. When I do things for her its never bloody right, last week she moaned at me because I hadn't folded some washing properly, when I empty the dishwasher I apparently always put things back in the wrong place, so now Ive resolved to just let her do it herself:rolleyes:
She moans when I ask her not to make me any tea because im not hungry, but then she'd also moan if she cooked it and I turned round and said I didn't want it. I can't win
If its not this she's telling me what to do, barging into my room without locking (now stopped as Ive got a lock on the door) telling me what job I should do etc Ive just had enough.
I just want to walk out of the front door and not come back. Has anyone else had to put up with this?
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Maybe you should sit with her and ask her if everything is alright and ask how her life is etc.,etc., Be sympathetic and loving.:)
I forgot to mention that I was also blamed when a courier tried to deliver a parcel and I was out. It wasn't for me, it was for her and I didn't even know it was coming.
(Fortunately I now live 400 miles away.
Maybe she is just tired of mothering after so many years.
How old are you.
There comes a time when parents just want their lives and space back and enter a grumpy phase. Don't take it personally. Just smile it's hard but try.
I've been there myself, as a daughter (I'm not sure if you are a male or female) but I am a mother too, so can see it from both sides.
I'll hazard a guess you are in your late teens/early 20s. Correct me if I am wrong.
I don't know your circumstances. Do you work? At school or college? Have siblings? Have a father?
I remember at your age, I felt the world was exciting and you want to enjoy life. Once you leave school, you feel free and that you know a lot:D
Parents can seem very critical and frustrating. You sound like you want to help but you are not in charge of the house, usually one person is in charge and they need to be clear in their instructions if they want help.
As a parent, she is probably bored stiff of doing the housework and feels annoyed when things go wrong. Maybe she is going thro the change.
I don't know what her life is like. Does she work? Have any fun herself? Perhaps she realises she is not as young any more which isn't fun and feels depressed at being a housewife and having no fun. If she feels left out, taken for granted and just a maid, it can make a person feel grumpy.
It sounds like she needs cheering up and both discuss how to divide the chores, so she doesn't expect you to read her mind and give you a hard time.
Good communication is the key.
I'm lucky to have a very good relationship with my parents now, although my mum recently told me that although she loved me, she didn't like me when I was through some bad times.
I've moved out now and I think I see them more now than I did when I lived at home. I miss them
if your too young to leave home, well sorry its the same for a lot of teens! she dont sound very happy herself tho...
I love my folks to pieces and am very thankful to them for having me (again!) but sometimes it's much easier to have a healthy relationship with them whilst living apart?
No one makes her feel like a slave. We all do stuff around the home. But she seems to have issues with me and my brother having a life away from the home, its like she can't let go.
It also makes you realise how much you rely on, and need, your mother
She sounds ill - if she is diabetic, she needs to see a doctor.
Or she could be very depressed. Running a house can be mega depressing and not everyone is cut out to do it.
I sympathise with you all being on the receiving end!
I would but ive just got nowhere to go and no income to pay rent or anything:(
I couldn't get a council flat because im not considered needy enough.
You must be feeling pretty fed up not working. It is lousy time to graduate and look for work.
Have you thought of doing something part time to get some experience, money and a break from the house?
Have you got any mates or other relatives you could stay with? Or share with some mates?
Maybe your mum is overdoing it.
Also, you are not children any more and it makes her feel redundant, plus you both remind her (not your faults) of her lost youth.
if you have no income you can claim housing benefit, you dont have to be in a council place to claim that!
Confront her (in a nice way) and tell her how you feel. Tell her she is too critical and she must stop picking on you. It's better to get this out in the open and deal with it. If she's got a bullying nature then it's best to confront that and she'll get the message. She'll know you won't tolerate her bullying.
Less serious reply:
Watch the film Psycho. Norman Bates could give you a few tips.
Keep looking for a job, hopefully one will come up soon for you, then you could get a cosy little bedsit, perhaps share with a friend to help with the rent? It will be a blast, you would have the time of your life
Meanwhile try and be patient with your mum, they pee us off sometimes, but they are a long time gone when they pass away.
I wouldn't say she has a bullying nature, but she does like to be in control of every situation and dictate to people. If she's not in control or someone else stands up to her she goes into a bit of a sulky mood andwon't speak or anything.
She's like this with everyone.Ive noticed that when she is with her group of friends she likes to dictate where they go and what the do, instead of being diplomatic about it. If the others decide against following her lead then she sulks and refuses to go, or she does so but complains about it.
She sounds like my mother. I too had a very difficult mother/daughter relationship. Unfortunately she never changed and things didn't improve until I left home.
She didn't get on with her own mother apparently.
All I can say is that I got through it and it made me determined to have good relationships with my own children. I have two daughters and we all get on together like good friends. I feel as if I've broken the cycle.
I don't have a miracle cure or even advice, come to that, but I wanted you to know that although it's a truely horrible phased to live through - it is just that, a phase.
I hope things improve for you.
I hope so too.
I bet today's events are really bringing it back. My father died suddenly and it brought it back for me
It isn't you. Some people need to feel in control and she could lose her mates too.
Have you spoken to your dad or brother about it?
How old are your daughters? I was mates with my son till he was 17, then he did daft things and huffed at us when we tried to limit the damage.