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Why do people self harm?
Sifter22
Posts: 12,057 Forum Member
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Cry for help?
Attention seeking?
Get a rush from it?
It could possibly be a mix of all those things I guess, but I've noticed people always have different reaction depending on the person and their history. For example some people hide it and some people will constantly tell people they do it. I read quite a sick article a few years ago about a website which featured tons of self harmers who egged a girl on and she ended up going too far. Seems horrible, but then again they could've well been trolls.
What're your views on self harm?
Attention seeking?
Get a rush from it?
It could possibly be a mix of all those things I guess, but I've noticed people always have different reaction depending on the person and their history. For example some people hide it and some people will constantly tell people they do it. I read quite a sick article a few years ago about a website which featured tons of self harmers who egged a girl on and she ended up going too far. Seems horrible, but then again they could've well been trolls.
What're your views on self harm?
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Sadly there are a small bunch who pretend they do it and shove it in everyone faces.
Those who genuinely self harm go to extreme lengths to hide it. I know I did. However now I couldn't give a toss who sees my scars and what they think. Well except in my placements as I can't tell a young child why I have scars so I make up a fun reason that's suitable.
I did it and most people to do it to cope with things going on in their life and to get a release from whatever they might be feeling - stress, upset, scared and many other emotions. It feels like their own option to cope. Some do it to keep themselves alive instead of committing suicide. It often goes hand in hand with a mental illness but NOT always. You can be mentally well and self harm. It's not to attention seek from most, as again, we go to amazing lengths to hide it.
"If I was worth anything, you would notice how I feel, you would rescue me if you really loved me, you would have noticed me bleeding." etc
There's often a lot of anger in people who self-harm.
It's an act of violence.
Extreme pain releases endorphins, endorphins relieve stress and anxiety, and make you feel pretty good. In a panic attack, a severe one, I would inflict as much pain on myself as possible to calm down, this mostly involved cutting my arms. The problem is, the endorphins are addictive, and it takes more and more pain each time you do it to get the same response. I have around 200 scars, most inflicted within about 6 months. I'm not ashamed of it, shit happens, but it is what it is. I had to go to hospital once for the damage I did to myself. In the most severe panic attacks, I would try and scratch my eyes out, but I don't have nails, which is fortunate.
You also have attention self harmers though, but they generally do it for other reasons.
Do you do it because you feel you deserve "punished"?
Does it bring a sense of release?
Does it make you feel better or worse? Etc
I don't know if that makes much sense and im no expert but from the little ive read, that seems to be roughly what its about.
Yes a lot of people do it to punish themselves. I certainly did. It does give you a release and often a rush of endorphines. It makes you feel better and then almost immediately (but sometimes not) even worse.
Well done Spooky
I'm glad she's managed to stop & has got better Frankie.
It's mostly the endorphins. Just like shopping, trust me, I've been there. It calms you, makes you feel good, and is addictive.
I can't really deal with pain personally, it must feel different to different people. I accidentally cut my thumb on a razor a few days ago and freaked out about it
Yeah, me too. She's got a lovely girlfriend who completely gets her and she's well and happy. I felt hopeless and helpless when I realised what she was doing, stupid too, because she's my twin, and I never knew.
If you were in extreme panic, you would change your mind.
I did for a period of about 6 months about 3 years ago. I get what you mean by the addictive side of it. It was almost becoming a compulsion at one point so I made a strong effort to not do it again and break the habit. There's probably reasons why I did it but I don't really think about them now I don't do it any more.
I stopped because my dad found out and started asking me what he had done to make me feel like this etc etc. It was the first time in my life I had seen him cry and it shocked me so much. I was about 16 then. Him blaming himself when it was nothing at all to do with him, or anyone really...kind of knocked me out of it. I realised how stupid I had been. Still get the urges every now and again now though..but know better than to act on it.
As a former cutter it is certainly not attention seeking. I did it because I was seriously depressed, it was a release mechanism and a way of turning mental anguish into something physical, which I found easier to deal with. You get wound up and wound up and you just want a way to release all the pain and anguish.
As for the story in your post that is awful, serious trolling. Poor girl
My parents got divorced, I wasn't seeing my dad as much.
My Mum was working all the hours under the sun.
So I started self harming almost as a cry for help at first.
But the more I did it the more I found it as a type of Escapism.
Eventually stopped.
at this point I was 20-21 years old.
Had a terrible time where I lost my Home, Girlfriend, Best friend and job all within a month.
Which caused me to have a nervous breakdown.
Then while I was recovering from it I found myself starting to self harm again,
This time it seemed to be under a different guise though, I seemed to be using it
as a healing process instead, Almost as if the more it hurt the more relief I felt.
So I personally think self harm disguises its self in may ways.
Problem is it does seem to have a stigma attached to it,
Where people think Self harm is just something young people do for attention.
Now when I look at my scars I kind of think what where you thinking you donut...
But at the time I wasn't thinking that is the problem.
I think a lot of self harming cases can be stopped just by talking though.
I mean if you think a friend or a member of you're family is going through a tough time
just make sure you give them an extra 10-15 minutes out of you're day.
But don't go storming in like the S.A.S just buy them a coffee or a bunch of flowers and let them know you have their back in the last garrison know matter what.
I am typing this message as I look ay my own scars and thinking of my mistakes and
Hardships...
So if you are a self harmer or someone trying to help a self harmer don't feel alone.
People will support you.
When you are at you're lowest it doesn't mean you're at the end of you're book.
It means you are at the beginning of a new Chapter.
From
Someone who knows.
Everything will be ok.
Just give it time.
If that's the case, I'm surprised you're still alive!
They typed that with bloodied stumps.