Options
Suicide is one of the biggest killers of men in the U.K
Justmadeit
Posts: 7,512 Forum Member
✭
I was reading that suicide is the biggest killer of men in the u.k yet it doesnt get much publicity like other things have, like stopping smoking or heart disease etc etc....or adverts for the x factor......
The highest rate of suicide in the u.k is for males in the age 30 to 44 bracket according to figures.
Why is it so many men and yet not women who complete suicide, do we think deeper as men and are we more introspective or are our brains wired differently ?
It seems we live in a world of endless choices, great technology and the rest but people still arent that happy. How many genuinely happy people do you know out there ? Ok sure they exist but how many ? So what is going wrong that someone feels the only way out is to take their own life.
Having hit rock bottom towards the end of last year and earlier this i do know how it feels to feel utterly bleak, and true depression ( not the overused cliche) truly is the worst feeling in the world. It is hell, a living nightmare. I have a lot to be thankful for at age 38, a great son, mum/dad and family and friends yet i wasnt immune from it. It is something you have to manage.
I sometimes think that what pushes people over the edge to suicide is that they can't get over what is bothering them, maybe its something they have done that no one knows about but they do and they cant live with it anymore and it might not be a big deal to someone else but it is to them, or that they think things will never improve in the future. It could be anything though.
Ive known of quite a few people commit suicide, 2 in new zealand where i grew up and about 5 over here in the uk, although not close friends, people ive seen out and about in the local community.
What are your thoughts ? Do you know how it feels to be on the very edge and what got you through it? Or maybe you have known of some people in that predicament. Like i said, it is truly terrifying to feel like that. Just the worst thing in life you can go through. Worst that cancer according to a man who had had cancer and had had serious depression too and he said he would rather go through the treatment for cancer. It really is that bad
The highest rate of suicide in the u.k is for males in the age 30 to 44 bracket according to figures.
Why is it so many men and yet not women who complete suicide, do we think deeper as men and are we more introspective or are our brains wired differently ?
It seems we live in a world of endless choices, great technology and the rest but people still arent that happy. How many genuinely happy people do you know out there ? Ok sure they exist but how many ? So what is going wrong that someone feels the only way out is to take their own life.
Having hit rock bottom towards the end of last year and earlier this i do know how it feels to feel utterly bleak, and true depression ( not the overused cliche) truly is the worst feeling in the world. It is hell, a living nightmare. I have a lot to be thankful for at age 38, a great son, mum/dad and family and friends yet i wasnt immune from it. It is something you have to manage.
I sometimes think that what pushes people over the edge to suicide is that they can't get over what is bothering them, maybe its something they have done that no one knows about but they do and they cant live with it anymore and it might not be a big deal to someone else but it is to them, or that they think things will never improve in the future. It could be anything though.
Ive known of quite a few people commit suicide, 2 in new zealand where i grew up and about 5 over here in the uk, although not close friends, people ive seen out and about in the local community.
What are your thoughts ? Do you know how it feels to be on the very edge and what got you through it? Or maybe you have known of some people in that predicament. Like i said, it is truly terrifying to feel like that. Just the worst thing in life you can go through. Worst that cancer according to a man who had had cancer and had had serious depression too and he said he would rather go through the treatment for cancer. It really is that bad
0
Comments
Putting that aside, men don't talk about their own feelings to anyone. Women share everything with friends / family and so have more of a support network. Also, when men do open up, they are seen as weak and are told to pull themselves together, where as a woman with a problem would have more sympathy.
So with the pressures of modern society, coupled with no where to turn for help, it is no wonder men turn to suicide.
Can't really add to this as these are the accepted reasons - well put.
It's just not an option to unload as I'm supposed to be the strong and protective one and men don't have that nurturing thing amongst themselves.
I used to long for the large packs that women socialise in and the support they give eachother. Even amongst my friends, as a man there is always a competitive edge and an element of mickey taking. When you are feeling low it is hard to keep taking it on the chin. I used to long for the supportive, nurturing nature of women and the way they socialised in large groups.
If it wasn't for my brilliant mother allowing me to open up, I'd probably be another statistic. She got me through a tough time and I'll always thank her for it.
I doubt the figures are higher than deaths through heart disease or cancer.
There are more than most people would expect though, and the reasons are far too varied to begin to explain on a forum.
When I worked as a Coroners officer it surprised me how many suicides there were, and that included plenty of women, but it certainly wasn't the biggest cause of death.
There are woman yes but i believe the number of men going down that route seems to way outnumber woman. Either way its tragic and as grim as it gets.
I certainly dealt with more men than women, and that is the case nationally, but finding a reason for that is far too complex in this format. The reasons were so varied, it is impossible to find a pattern.
It is often more than one reason for me it was but after so much stuff building up it was actually just a small thing that finally pushed me over the edge
There is still a huge stigma in society about depression or admitting to problems, especially from men, which is sad really. The macho culture of endless p.sstaking and not talking about anything serious is so boring, thankfully ive got good mates who i can talk about anything with.Not everyone is so lucky.
I'm sure I've read that in the younger age group (18-25?), it is the biggest killer. Sadly in today's climate I believe it will only get higher.
Ive been there and i can tell you its hell. Like nothing in this world. I literally wouldve offered my right arm in return for not feeling like that. I seriously would, if there was a pact to be made that said you will never feel that bad again but you will lose your arm id have taken that deal.
Just the worst thing ever in life, words cannot even convey how it felt. I am envious of those lucky people who have never been down that road. Though i know it can happen to anyone, even the most succesfsul amongst us
A world without any sense of a God can be a lonely cold place and can make people suicidal. I guarantee you the vast majority of people suicidal would not attempt to take their lives if God appeared to them and said "don't end your life." This has never happened and never will happen.
This is why religion is a bit sad and silly. No God will save you from suicidal thoughts or suicide itself no matter what religion you believe in.
Thats true
Religion offers comfort to some people but im sure many suicidal people have prayed and prayed for years and nothing miraculous has happened.
If anyone here is Scottish and has this issue on their mind then this site might be of interest - http://www.chooselife.net/index.aspx
This is supposed to be one of the reasons more men succeed at suicide attempts - they tend to opt for more violent menthods, such as hanging or jumping off a cliff, from which there is no return. Women on the other hand more frequently go for the 'pills and alcohol' route, which is easier to be rescued from.
I'm not saying this means that just as many women attempt suicide - the pills route is sometimes seen as less of a true attempt than as a cry for help.
http://metro.co.uk/2013/03/24/suicide-biggest-male-killer-3556960/
The UK for many is no longer a fun existence, many men - single men in particular have seen most of their activities curtailed in the last 20 years or so - cant even sob over a pint with a woodbine now - so why hang around ? - or indeed why not !!
the first didn`t talk about his feelings much, the second was very in touch with his emotions. there are as many reasons as there are victims.
a) women having larger social networks of real people and communicating more openly in person,
b) men feeling like they can't live up to the gender roles expected of them by themselves and society.
I'd add something that I feel affects both genders, but in the absence of a), hits men particularly strongly:
c) with the fairly rapid death of Christianity in Britain, spirituality is also dying out.
I think spirituality is an essential component of being a happy, fulfilled human being. Personally, I find it through Taoism and Buddhism, shorn of their supernatural elements. I rarely agree with Sam Harris's politics, but I'm very glad he's writing a book on secular spirituality and meditation. I hope it'll turn people in the so-called New Atheist movement on to non-dogmatic, naturalistic spiritual practices.
Some food for thought:
Im guessing your friend who was dumped didnt feel so good aboiut himself before he met his girlfriend, when he was with her it made him feel validated, like he was a good person and when he was dumped like his world was over, like he wasnt good enough, it does happen.
My relationship ended last year with a woman i was seeing for 18 months, i ended the relationship impulsively becasue i was feeling on the low side in mood, then 2 weeks later did a u turn and wanted to get back with her and it was too late, shed met someone very quickly and i was devastated, it tipped me over in to an all time low and everything else came up to the surface and i felt overwhelmed, couldnt sleep or eat etc. Very dark times.
The reasons why people go to that stage are many though as you stated.
I think there needs to be more awareness and more openess and adverts on tv and programs going out at 8pm instead of eastenders or other rubbish