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Can a lack of physical relationship send you to madness?

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    DomestosDomestos Posts: 7,014
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    You're not going to get a relationship or get laid til you change your attitude.

    Unless you pay for it, but you still wont get a relationship.
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    JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    tothegrand wrote: »
    I just worry it would be found out later in my life. And I would feel like a failure for not being able to get a girl.

    I suppose it depends really. I've made no bones about the fact I paid for it at 28 and I'm certainly not really bothered who finds out. Some people will judge you though, that's unfortunately unavoidable, but others won't. I know i'll personally never be in a position to have a partner find out, but I think as long as you're honest with any prospective partners or girlfriends when the time is appropriate, then that's all you can really do.

    As long as you don't plead for forgiveness and offer a simple, factual explanation then I can't see how anyone can really judge you on it. And It's certainly not a failure if you can't get a girlfriend though. You're not defined by whether or not you've got a partner, so don't let other people define you by it.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,391
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    Domestos wrote: »
    You're not going to get a relationship or get laid til you change your attitude.

    Unless you pay for it, but you still wont get a relationship.

    What attitude?
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    DomestosDomestos Posts: 7,014
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    tothegrand wrote: »
    What attitude?

    The attitude you have displayed in this thread is really unattractive.
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    AnitaSAnitaS Posts: 4,079
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    I suppose it depends really. I've made no bones about the fact I paid for it at 28 and I'm certainly not really bothered who finds out. Some people will judge you though, that's unfortunately unavoidable, but others won't. I know i'll personally never be in a position to have a partner find out, but I think as long as you're honest with any prospective partners or girlfriends when the time is appropriate, then that's all you can really do.

    As long as you don't plead for forgiveness and offer a simple, factual explanation then I can't see how anyone can really judge you on it. And It's certainly not a failure if you can't get a girlfriend though. You're not defined by whether or not you've got a partner, so don't let other people define you by it.

    Jason, why are you so certain you will never, ever find a partner? Did you see a clairvoyant who told you that you are destined to be alone forever? You come across as such a likeable bloke on here, I'm baffled by your assertion you will never get a girlfriend.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,391
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    Domestos wrote: »
    The attitude you have displayed in this thread is really unattractive.

    Like what, give an example?
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    Pumping IronPumping Iron Posts: 29,891
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    AnitaS wrote: »
    Jason, why are you so certain you will never, ever find a partner? Did you see a clairvoyant who told you that you are destined to be alone forever? You come across as such a likeable bloke on here, I'm baffled by your assertion you will never get a girlfriend.

    I have often wondered the same thing :)
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    WanderinWonderWanderinWonder Posts: 3,719
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    Picklebum wrote: »
    Pathetic. Comments like that make people, like the OP, think there is something wrong with them for not having had sex by their early 20s.
    Not everyone is comfortable with shagging anything that moves

    Exactly.
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    marc_p88marc_p88 Posts: 1,133
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    I lost my virginity at 19 and the girl had no idea I was a virgin. I had researched a lot about pleasing women, so by the time it came, I had knowledge in my head of what to do. One tip, give her oral until she orgasms and then have sex, because even if you don't last long, you would have at least given her an orgasm one way or another.
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    pugamopugamo Posts: 18,039
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    I have a female friend who is 28 and still not a virgin. Not for lack of trying and there's nothing wrong with her, physically or otherwise, it just hasn't happened yet. Everything in it's own time.

    I think internet dating is definitely the way forward these days.
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    SULLASULLA Posts: 149,789
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    pugamo wrote: »
    I have a female friend who is 28 and still not a virgin. Not for lack of trying and there's nothing wrong with her, physically or otherwise, it just hasn't happened yet. Everything in it's own time.

    I think internet dating is definitely the way forward these days.
    BIB...:confused:
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    TelevisionUserTelevisionUser Posts: 41,417
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    tothegrand wrote: »
    To be honest if I went to the club I would not really care what they looked like as long as they were my age.:o

    If I wanted to meet a girl seriously at a party I would just speak to any girl. Its the drink you see.

    A girl did try to kiss me once at the club I refer to, but I was not expecting it and It sort of made me panic. She then walked off. Beer goggles. So I'm sure I would get lucky if I went back.

    I am not that sort of person to have a one night stand, but I am 22, I cannot leave it much longer.
    tothegrand wrote: »
    I am trying to get across that I cannot find a situation where there are girls to just talk to.

    The only thing I can do alone is go to the club, and in that club the girls don't want a relationship.

    I don't want to just sleep with some girl I don't even know, but I feel like time is running out and I just have to get it over and done with to break the mental barrier in my head, then I might be a bit more relaxed around girls who I want to get to know. I have the issue also of looking too young, so I don't think girls take me seriously, as soon as I get a beard I might grow it, meant to make you look older.

    Cheers for everyones advice anyway.

    I have read some of your posts in this thread and I hope you don’t mind me making a few comments below.

    It seems like you're now trying to put some artificial deadline in place and please don't do that because, as time goes on, all that will do increase is tension, upset and anxiety and that won't help the situation at all. Any negative or self critical thinking is not good and try to be happy in yourself and try to learn to love and appreciate yourself.

    I appreciate that it can be difficult for some people to form friendships but would it be an idea to try to concentrate on improving the socialisation aspect by trying out new activities, joining clubs and associations where you have, or could develop, an interest (e.g. where there is a reasonable gender mix) or joining one of the many young adult social groups that exist in large towns?

    I also want to say that I hope that the friends and partner situation does get better for you over the next few years but please be patient and give things time. :)

    Links:
    http://www.google.co.uk/#fp=1&hl=en&psj=1&q=tips+overcoming+shyness
    http://www.google.co.uk/#fp=85177d2ca4155b73&psj=1&q=how+to+socialise+with+women
    http://www.google.co.uk/#fp=85177d2ca4155b73&psj=1&q=how+to+make+friends+with+women
    http://www.overcoming.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=4795
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    JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    AnitaS wrote: »
    Jason, why are you so certain you will never, ever find a partner? Did you see a clairvoyant who told you that you are destined to be alone forever? You come across as such a likeable bloke on here, I'm baffled by your assertion you will never get a girlfriend.
    I have often wondered the same thing :)

    Rather than hijack the OP's thread, I will PM you both :)
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,391
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    Rather than hijack the OP's thread, I will PM you both :)

    Actually I would like to know also. :o
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    JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    tothegrand wrote: »
    Actually I would like to know also. :o

    So you want me to spread myself over the thread like some cheap tart ? ;)
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    WanderinWonderWanderinWonder Posts: 3,719
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    tothegrand wrote: »
    Actually I would like to know also. :o

    Me three. :D
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    JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    Oh bloody hell, I might as well just set up a mailing list and send a PM mailshot :D
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