Mum's problems (depression)
Hope you guys don't mind me posting in here but just needed some advice really...
I think my Mother is suffering from this. I'm going off the stories I've heard so far.
Thursday night, she randomly flipped and smashed part of the house up. I've been informed that she has been drinking quite a bit recently and is in a lot of debt (all things relatively new to me though I was aware money was tight). It seems that she has been lending money to my brother who has then proceeded to either not pay her back or partially pay her back. As a result, she has been unable to pay back her own bills, rent etc.
She visited a doctor Friday who referred her to the hospital and they've out her on anti-depressants. My rather dramatic brother at the time was throwing around 'sectioning' which didn't fear me as such because I realised it wasn't on the scale required for that.
I've been away with work although am due to return at the end of this week when I can actually speak to her when no-one is around. Other members of the family have spoken to her in more detail but I've spoken to her on the phone last night albeit briefly and she didn't want to tell me much.
I'm just seeking advice really - I don't know what to do to help that is best although I do.
I managed to speak to her on the phone last night, offered my help, time, ears etc but all bounced back with an attempted air of positivity. Having spoken to another family member though, I know that the debt problems are to the point where she is being evicted from her house on Tuesday and wants away from my father.
It all seems a bit of a mess and I feel a bit helpless and unsure what I can do that'll actually produce a positive outcome. I could throw money at the debt problems and help her but it'll indirectly help my brother and father (who have helped to cause this mess as well and at the minute are very laissez-faire about the whole situation by the sounds of it), I could throw money towards the deposit for a new house, I could do nothing and go for tough love in an attempt to make her see sense, I could just be ears, I could be....I don't know.
It doesn't help that this has been bottled for a while - now it's 6 days and counting and running out of time I guess.
I think my Mother is suffering from this. I'm going off the stories I've heard so far.
Thursday night, she randomly flipped and smashed part of the house up. I've been informed that she has been drinking quite a bit recently and is in a lot of debt (all things relatively new to me though I was aware money was tight). It seems that she has been lending money to my brother who has then proceeded to either not pay her back or partially pay her back. As a result, she has been unable to pay back her own bills, rent etc.
She visited a doctor Friday who referred her to the hospital and they've out her on anti-depressants. My rather dramatic brother at the time was throwing around 'sectioning' which didn't fear me as such because I realised it wasn't on the scale required for that.
I've been away with work although am due to return at the end of this week when I can actually speak to her when no-one is around. Other members of the family have spoken to her in more detail but I've spoken to her on the phone last night albeit briefly and she didn't want to tell me much.
I'm just seeking advice really - I don't know what to do to help that is best although I do.
I managed to speak to her on the phone last night, offered my help, time, ears etc but all bounced back with an attempted air of positivity. Having spoken to another family member though, I know that the debt problems are to the point where she is being evicted from her house on Tuesday and wants away from my father.
It all seems a bit of a mess and I feel a bit helpless and unsure what I can do that'll actually produce a positive outcome. I could throw money at the debt problems and help her but it'll indirectly help my brother and father (who have helped to cause this mess as well and at the minute are very laissez-faire about the whole situation by the sounds of it), I could throw money towards the deposit for a new house, I could do nothing and go for tough love in an attempt to make her see sense, I could just be ears, I could be....I don't know.
It doesn't help that this has been bottled for a while - now it's 6 days and counting and running out of time I guess.
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Other than that, all I can say is be there for her really. Listen when she needs it, give her a hug when she needs to cry, just be supportive and let her know it's okay to be depressed, especially with everything she's going through at the moment. The best thing you can do for a person suffering from depression is to be there for them.
With it seemingly only being a few days until eviction anyway, I'm thinking it requires more drastic action than that. Plus there is the question of moving all of her stuff out (not my dad's, he can sort his own stuff out). To where, who knows...
If the eviction does take place on Tuesday make sure you're there when it happens, as the reality of it will then hit your Mother and she will hopefully be more amenable to coming to stay with you or another relative.
Try to line up somewhere to put her things, even if it's a friend's garage, until she gets her own place.
Above all, don't apportion blame when you talk to her - hard, I know, but it's happened now, whoever's at fault. Just let her know you'll be supporting her whatever she decides to do.
You sound like a great son - I do hope everything turns out OK. Best of luck.