The trial of Weatherfield's corner shop employee and number two prostitute Sunita Alahan began today as members of the world press filled the courthouse.
Mrs Alahan, of Coronation Street, faces charges of badly impersonating porn stars of the nineties and having an affair with Mr Karl Munro- the partner of none other than 1966 World Cup winner, Queen of England, Prime Minister and saviour of the eurozone Stella Price.
Evidence for the prosecution was given today, by the same barrister who unsuccessfully attempted to get Frank Foster imprisoned for sexual assault earlier in the year. "SUNITA ALAHAN IS A LYING MONSTER!" he roared. Mrs Alahan's husband, named locally as shopkeeper Dev Alahan, was seen mouthing "and I thought I overacted." One of the most damning pieces of evidence was a series of sex tapes made by Mr Munro and Mrs Alahan, labelled as episodes of Stella Street's inferior replacement Coronation Street in order to fool anyone who stumbled across them.
Stella looked as radiant as always while she sat in the courtroom, joined by her daughters Leanne Barlow and Eva Price. She has reportedly seperated from Mr Munro since he was charged with the alleged affair.
The trial continues tomorrow.
For legal reasons, we are unable to accept your- oh, go on, because Stella has been so unduly victimised comment all you want.
SUNITA ALAHAN SENSATIONALLY ACQUITTED AS PROSECUTION CASE COLLAPSES
You heard it here first - the judge has unexpectedly halted the trial after Saintly Stella Price was called as a character witness for the defence. Ms Price claimed that Sunita Alahan was one of her oldest and dearest friends (2nd only to the dearly departed Betty Williams) adn that from their many heart-to-heart talks in the back room of the Rovers, she could categorically state that Mrs Alahan was totally incapable of such travesties of justice. "There isn't a dishonest bone in her body" Ms Price declared, whereupon Dev Alahan, the cuckolded husband and the real victim in all this, leapt to his feet and shouted "Weeeeelll, sheeee diiid haaaaaaave, when that scouuuuundreeelll Munroooo got hollllld of herrrrr". However, his evidence was deemed inadmissible because it took him 6 hours to utter that single sentence and the judge wanted to get home for his tea. Outside the court building, Stella was besieged by papparrazzi (who can probably spell better than this reporter can) but gave one single comment: If you want an interview, come through the back.
The trial of Weatherfield's corner shop employee and number two prostitute Sunita Alahan began today as members of the world press filled the courthouse.
Mrs Alahan, of Coronation Street, faces charges of badly impersonating porn stars of the nineties and having an affair with Mr Karl Munro- the partner of none other than 1966 World Cup winner, Queen of England, Prime Minister and saviour of the eurozone Stella Price.
Evidence for the prosecution was given today, by the same barrister who unsuccessfully attempted to get Frank Foster imprisoned for sexual assault earlier in the year. "SUNITA ALAHAN IS A LYING MONSTER!" he roared. Mrs Alahan's husband, named locally as shopkeeper Dev Alahan, was seen mouthing "and I thought I overacted." One of the most damning pieces of evidence was a series of sex tapes made by Mr Munro and Mrs Alahan, labelled as episodes of Stella Street's inferior replacement Coronation Street in order to fool anyone who stumbled across them.
Stella looked as radiant as always while she sat in the courtroom, joined by her daughters Leanne Barlow and Eva Price. She has reportedly seperated from Mr Munro since he was charged with the alleged affair.
The trial continues tomorrow.
For legal reasons, we are unable to accept your- oh, go on, because Stella has been so unduly victimised comment all you want.
SUNITA ALAHAN SENSATIONALLY ACQUITTED AS PROSECUTION CASE COLLAPSES
You heard it here first - the judge has unexpectedly halted the trial after Saintly Stella Price was called as a character witness for the defence. Ms Price claimed that Sunita Alahan was one of her oldest and dearest friends (2nd only to the dearly departed Betty Williams) adn that from their many heart-to-heart talks in the back room of the Rovers, she could categorically state that Mrs Alahan was totally incapable of such travesties of justice. "There isn't a dishonest bone in her body" Ms Price declared, whereupon Dev Alahan, the cuckolded husband and the real victim in all this, leapt to his feet and shouted "Weeeeelll, sheeee diiid haaaaaaave, when that scouuuuundreeelll Munroooo got hollllld of herrrrr". However, his evidence was deemed inadmissible because it took him 6 hours to utter that single sentence and the judge wanted to get home for his tea. Outside the court building, Stella was besieged by papparrazzi (who can probably spell better than this reporter can) but gave one single comment: If you want an interview, come through the back.
:D:D:D
Some of the one-liners in this thread are gold dust!!
A desperate Sunita Alahan broke down in court yesterday after the jury reached a guilty verdict. Tears strewn down her face as screamed out for her kids and forgiving husband. Meanwhile Stella Price had a sigh of relief as she left the court.
In a statement from her barrister Mrs Alahan said she was deeply sadden that the jury could reach such a verdict on so little evidence and she has vowed to appeal the verdict.
While a statement from Stella Price she has said she is relieved that it is finally over and just wants to get on with her life and has asked for some privacy to help her move on.
Meanwhile MP's in the house of commons will vote on whether to bring back the death penalty for a one off, if they vote in favour Mrs Alahan could be executed in as soon as 8 weeks. MP for Weatherfield Michele Connor has come out in favour and in a statement has said "what this woman has done is wrong and she deserves what she's got coming to her" meanwhile human rights activists are calling for a lenient sentence and are asking MP's to vote against the death penalty.
SUNITA ALAHAN SENSATIONALLY ACQUITTED AS PROSECUTION CASE COLLAPSES
You heard it here first - the judge has unexpectedly halted the trial after Saintly Stella Price was called as a character witness for the defence. Ms Price claimed that Sunita Alahan was one of her oldest and dearest friends (2nd only to the dearly departed Betty Williams) adn that from their many heart-to-heart talks in the back room of the Rovers, she could categorically state that Mrs Alahan was totally incapable of such travesties of justice. "There isn't a dishonest bone in her body" Ms Price declared, whereupon Dev Alahan, the cuckolded husband and the real victim in all this, leapt to his feet and shouted "Weeeeelll, sheeee diiid haaaaaaave, when that scouuuuundreeelll Munroooo got hollllld of herrrrr". However, his evidence was deemed inadmissible because it took him 6 hours to utter that single sentence and the judge wanted to get home for his tea. Outside the court building, Stella was besieged by papparrazzi (who can probably spell better than this reporter can) but gave one single comment: If you want an interview, come through the back.
Amazing stuff- so funny! As is phill363's article about Sunita being found guilty!
For a while now John Terry appeard to be nailed on cert to light the flame at the Olympic opening ceremony, and has a singlet, shorts and running spikes at the ready to change into on the night, but now it seems he has a rival.
A leaked email from Lord Coe's provate office reveals that Seb was surprised to learn that Corrie Landlady Stella Price is a nations favourite he was even more surpised to discover her olympic credentials - she is a multi gold medal winner for GB, having won gold in fencing, 3 day eventing, greco roman wresting, and as part of the Ying Ling sailing crew in Beijing.
These credentials put her ahead of Champions League winner and Its a Knockout quick clothes change winner John Terry but Coe is now woried that Stella's full diary may prove a problem.
Speaking to Stella's agent Coe learned that she has been flat out these last few weeks. In the recent past Stella opened the Chelsea flower show and the batting for England against the WIndies at Lords. She replaced Dame Judy as M in the latest James Bond film, and at last wek's jubilee concert was to have sung with Gary Barlow but when an operatic star cancelled at the last minute she agreed to step in for the balcony dute with Alfie Boe so an understudy had to be found for the Barlow duet.
She has just won every course of the great british menu - warm hotpot salad, sea bass with hotpot fricasee; traditional hotpot with a hotput jus, pork scratchings and a pickled egg; hotpot pannacotta for dessert. However Stella graciously stood down as she didn't want to hog the limelight and also didn't want to ruin the confidence of britain's top chefs.
Later in the year Stella is earmarked to play at Wimbledon, has a week of sell out concerts at tyhe O2 and will sing Rule Britannia at the Last Night of the Proms. he aso has to find the time to record a message to the nation, to be broadcast on Christmas Day at 3pm.
However, Coe's plans to have Stella as part of his olympic team might have to be shelved.
Elizabeth II is rumoured to be so concerned about her husband's health that she is seriously considering abdication in order to to spend more time with him. However, after consultation with here family it is believed that the Queen is considering not just jumping a generation, but also the entire Windosr family in favour of Queen Stella the First and Last. The Queen believes that Stella is the only person in the United Kingdonm wit the polpularity among the populaton to carry on where she leaves off.
This would cause a constitutional problem because the Tories had earmarked Stella as the leader to replace David Cameron and restore their popularity with the elctorate, but the monarch cannot also be an elected politcian.
This conflict of interest may cause Stella to follow another course. At private audience early this year, the Pope told Stella that what the world lacked now were international female role models and that he saw Stella filling the gap left by the deaths of Mother Theresa and Princess Diana. So we could see Stella swapping the title of Queen for that of Saint.
Stella Price to pen "best friend" Betty William's biography
It was revealed earlier this afternoon that Corrie legend, Stella Price, will pen the late Betty Williams' biography which is due for release later this year. Price states the book will be a colourful and intimate look at her dearly departed best friend's life;
"Ooh, myself and Betty go way back so it seemed only right that I should write this book in her honour. Betty told me many of her deepest secrets round t'back over a brew.
She found it dead easy to confide in me...telling me things that only best friends tell each other, things that not even Rita Sullivan, Annie Walker or Bet Lynch know", Price added with a knowing wink.
Asked if she felt snubbed about Betty leaving her secret hotpot recipe to screen icon Sean Tully in her will, Price's demeanour suddenly changed as she whispered; "Well truth be told, Betty's spelling wasn't the best. She got the "S" part right but yeah it goes without saying who she meant.....I was saving this for the book! You got an exclusive out of me"
The cover of Betty's biography will feature a lovely, never seen before photograph of Betty......held by a beaming Stella Price. Inside the book, readers will be treated to a feast of rare photographs of Betty with superimposed images of Stella Price in each one next to her best friend. Commenting on this, Price adds;
"Ah the wonders of modern technology. It is what Jackson, oopsie, Betty would have wanted"
Betty's biography titled "Betty Williams: The best friend of Stella Price" by Stella Price will be out on October 21st.
*The interview with Miss Price was conducted through t'back of Rovers.
Revelations abound on the cobbles this week when Stella's long lost Sister, Katie turns up. As if that wasn't enough, their Father, Vincent makes and unexpected appearance to see his ex wife Sheila Grant to ask why she disappeard so mysteriously from Brookside Close in the 80's.
Why Stella, of course, in the back room of t'Rovers where they can have a permanent tea party. She can easily manage that, being an expert Chimp Whisperer - how else do you think she communicates with Karl? Oh dear, now I'm really being silly :D
Why Stella, of course, in the back room of t'Rovers where they can have a permanent tea party. She can easily manage that, being an expert Chimp Whisperer - how else do you think she communicates with Karl? Oh dear, now I'm really being silly :D
It's fine. makes much more sense than some other posts...
Why Stella, of course, in the back room of t'Rovers where they can have a permanent tea party. She can easily manage that, being an expert Chimp Whisperer - how else do you think she communicates with Karl? Oh dear, now I'm really being silly :D
No no lmao that lol was very silly yes. And bl--dy funny as well!
We should be careful just how ridiculous our Stella-related articles get. If they become any more implausible, Phil Collinson might stumble across this thread and use them as actual storylines.
We should be careful just how ridiculous our Stella-related articles get. If they become any more implausible, Phil Collinson might stumble across this thread and use them as actual storylines.
For a while now John Terry appeard to be nailed on cert to light the flame at the Olympic opening ceremony, and has a singlet, shorts and running spikes at the ready to change into on the night, but now it seems he has a rival.
A leaked email from Lord Coe's provate office reveals that Seb was surprised to learn that Corrie Landlady Stella Price is a nations favourite he was even more surpised to discover her olympic credentials - she is a multi gold medal winner for GB, having won gold in fencing, 3 day eventing, greco roman wresting, and as part of the Ying Ling sailing crew in Beijing.
These credentials put her ahead of Champions League winner and Its a Knockout quick clothes change winner John Terry but Coe is now woried that Stella's full diary may prove a problem.
Speaking to Stella's agent Coe learned that she has been flat out these last few weeks. In the recent past Stella opened the Chelsea flower show and the batting for England against the WIndies at Lords. She replaced Dame Judy as M in the latest James Bond film, and at last wek's jubilee concert was to have sung with Gary Barlow but when an operatic star cancelled at the last minute she agreed to step in for the balcony dute with Alfie Boe so an understudy had to be found for the Barlow duet.
She has just won every course of the great british menu - warm hotpot salad, sea bass with hotpot fricasee; traditional hotpot with a hotput jus, pork scratchings and a pickled egg; hotpot pannacotta for dessert. However Stella graciously stood down as she didn't want to hog the limelight and also didn't want to ruin the confidence of britain's top chefs.
Later in the year Stella is earmarked to play at Wimbledon, has a week of sell out concerts at tyhe O2 and will sing Rule Britannia at the Last Night of the Proms. he aso has to find the time to record a message to the nation, to be broadcast on Christmas Day at 3pm.
However, Coe's plans to have Stella as part of his olympic team might have to be shelved.
Elizabeth II is rumoured to be so concerned about her husband's health that she is seriously considering abdication in order to to spend more time with him. However, after consultation with here family it is believed that the Queen is considering not just jumping a generation, but also the entire Windosr family in favour of Queen Stella the First and Last. The Queen believes that Stella is the only person in the United Kingdonm wit the polpularity among the populaton to carry on where she leaves off.
This would cause a constitutional problem because the Tories had earmarked Stella as the leader to replace David Cameron and restore their popularity with the elctorate, but the monarch cannot also be an elected politcian.
This conflict of interest may cause Stella to follow another course. At private audience early this year, the Pope told Stella that what the world lacked now were international female role models and that he saw Stella filling the gap left by the deaths of Mother Theresa and Princess Diana. So we could see Stella swapping the title of Queen for that of Saint.
Stella Price to pen "best friend" Betty William's biography
It was revealed earlier this afternoon that Corrie legend, Stella Price, will pen the late Betty Williams' biography which is due for release later this year. Price states the book will be a colourful and intimate look at her dearly departed best friend's life;
"Ooh, myself and Betty go way back so it seemed only right that I should write this book in her honour. Betty told me many of her deepest secrets round t'back over a brew.
She found it dead easy to confide in me...telling me things that only best friends tell each other, things that not even Rita Sullivan, Annie Walker or Bet Lynch know", Price added with a knowing wink.
Asked if she felt snubbed about Betty leaving her secret hotpot recipe to screen icon Sean Tully in her will, Price's demeanour suddenly changed as she whispered; "Well truth be told, Betty's spelling wasn't the best. She got the "S" part right but yeah it goes without saying who she meant.....I was saving this for the book! You got an exclusive out of me"
The cover of Betty's biography will feature a lovely, never seen before photograph of Betty......held by a beaming Stella Price. Inside the book, readers will be treated to a feast of rare photographs of Betty with superimposed images of Stella Price in each one next to her best friend. Commenting on this, Price adds;
"Ah the wonders of modern technology. It is what Jackson, oopsie, Betty would have wanted"
Betty's biography titled "Betty Williams: The best friend of Stella Price" by Stella Price will be out on October 21st.
*The interview with Miss Price was conducted through t'back of Rovers.
:D:D:D:D
my sides are hurting from laughing sooo much
since sunita trial, the judge preciding over the case, has called up stella and offered her a role as judge of weatherfield,
so whenever a crime happens in weatherfield the judge hearing the case will be lady stella
the court cases will take place at the back of the rovers.
stella has also introduced the stella act 2012
S1 its is an offence to make hotpot outside of the rovers (maximum sentence 10yrs imprisonment)
S2 its an offence to refuse to take advice from lady stella (maximum sentence of 10 yrs)
S3 making leanne barlow/eva price angry(life imprisonment)
peter barlow has been charged with S3 of the stella act 2012 offence of making leanne barlow angry and he will now serve a life sentence of life imprisonment
peter girlfriend carla conner will face a punishment of being stoned to death
S4 Cheating on Lady Stella (amount of time affair has been happening for, plus lifetime ban from all casinos)
S5 Refusal to come through to the back (5-20 years- depends on tone in which the perpetrator refuses)
Comments
fantastic
Thanks!
Anyone want to write the second day of Sunita's trial?
You heard it here first - the judge has unexpectedly halted the trial after Saintly Stella Price was called as a character witness for the defence. Ms Price claimed that Sunita Alahan was one of her oldest and dearest friends (2nd only to the dearly departed Betty Williams) adn that from their many heart-to-heart talks in the back room of the Rovers, she could categorically state that Mrs Alahan was totally incapable of such travesties of justice. "There isn't a dishonest bone in her body" Ms Price declared, whereupon Dev Alahan, the cuckolded husband and the real victim in all this, leapt to his feet and shouted "Weeeeelll, sheeee diiid haaaaaaave, when that scouuuuundreeelll Munroooo got hollllld of herrrrr". However, his evidence was deemed inadmissible because it took him 6 hours to utter that single sentence and the judge wanted to get home for his tea. Outside the court building, Stella was besieged by papparrazzi (who can probably spell better than this reporter can) but gave one single comment: If you want an interview, come through the back.
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
Some of the one-liners in this thread are gold dust!!
A desperate Sunita Alahan broke down in court yesterday after the jury reached a guilty verdict. Tears strewn down her face as screamed out for her kids and forgiving husband. Meanwhile Stella Price had a sigh of relief as she left the court.
In a statement from her barrister Mrs Alahan said she was deeply sadden that the jury could reach such a verdict on so little evidence and she has vowed to appeal the verdict.
While a statement from Stella Price she has said she is relieved that it is finally over and just wants to get on with her life and has asked for some privacy to help her move on.
Meanwhile MP's in the house of commons will vote on whether to bring back the death penalty for a one off, if they vote in favour Mrs Alahan could be executed in as soon as 8 weeks. MP for Weatherfield Michele Connor has come out in favour and in a statement has said "what this woman has done is wrong and she deserves what she's got coming to her" meanwhile human rights activists are calling for a lenient sentence and are asking MP's to vote against the death penalty.
Yesterday pictures emerged of Karl Munro enjoying a beer on a beach in Mexico where he has been living after going on the run.
Amazing stuff- so funny! As is phill363's article about Sunita being found guilty!
A leaked email from Lord Coe's provate office reveals that Seb was surprised to learn that Corrie Landlady Stella Price is a nations favourite he was even more surpised to discover her olympic credentials - she is a multi gold medal winner for GB, having won gold in fencing, 3 day eventing, greco roman wresting, and as part of the Ying Ling sailing crew in Beijing.
These credentials put her ahead of Champions League winner and Its a Knockout quick clothes change winner John Terry but Coe is now woried that Stella's full diary may prove a problem.
Speaking to Stella's agent Coe learned that she has been flat out these last few weeks. In the recent past Stella opened the Chelsea flower show and the batting for England against the WIndies at Lords. She replaced Dame Judy as M in the latest James Bond film, and at last wek's jubilee concert was to have sung with Gary Barlow but when an operatic star cancelled at the last minute she agreed to step in for the balcony dute with Alfie Boe so an understudy had to be found for the Barlow duet.
She has just won every course of the great british menu - warm hotpot salad, sea bass with hotpot fricasee; traditional hotpot with a hotput jus, pork scratchings and a pickled egg; hotpot pannacotta for dessert. However Stella graciously stood down as she didn't want to hog the limelight and also didn't want to ruin the confidence of britain's top chefs.
Later in the year Stella is earmarked to play at Wimbledon, has a week of sell out concerts at tyhe O2 and will sing Rule Britannia at the Last Night of the Proms. he aso has to find the time to record a message to the nation, to be broadcast on Christmas Day at 3pm.
However, Coe's plans to have Stella as part of his olympic team might have to be shelved.
Elizabeth II is rumoured to be so concerned about her husband's health that she is seriously considering abdication in order to to spend more time with him. However, after consultation with here family it is believed that the Queen is considering not just jumping a generation, but also the entire Windosr family in favour of Queen Stella the First and Last. The Queen believes that Stella is the only person in the United Kingdonm wit the polpularity among the populaton to carry on where she leaves off.
This would cause a constitutional problem because the Tories had earmarked Stella as the leader to replace David Cameron and restore their popularity with the elctorate, but the monarch cannot also be an elected politcian.
This conflict of interest may cause Stella to follow another course. At private audience early this year, the Pope told Stella that what the world lacked now were international female role models and that he saw Stella filling the gap left by the deaths of Mother Theresa and Princess Diana. So we could see Stella swapping the title of Queen for that of Saint.
It was revealed earlier this afternoon that Corrie legend, Stella Price, will pen the late Betty Williams' biography which is due for release later this year. Price states the book will be a colourful and intimate look at her dearly departed best friend's life;
"Ooh, myself and Betty go way back so it seemed only right that I should write this book in her honour. Betty told me many of her deepest secrets round t'back over a brew.
She found it dead easy to confide in me...telling me things that only best friends tell each other, things that not even Rita Sullivan, Annie Walker or Bet Lynch know", Price added with a knowing wink.
Asked if she felt snubbed about Betty leaving her secret hotpot recipe to screen icon Sean Tully in her will, Price's demeanour suddenly changed as she whispered; "Well truth be told, Betty's spelling wasn't the best. She got the "S" part right but yeah it goes without saying who she meant.....I was saving this for the book! You got an exclusive out of me"
The cover of Betty's biography will feature a lovely, never seen before photograph of Betty......held by a beaming Stella Price. Inside the book, readers will be treated to a feast of rare photographs of Betty with superimposed images of Stella Price in each one next to her best friend. Commenting on this, Price adds;
"Ah the wonders of modern technology. It is what Jackson, oopsie, Betty would have wanted"
Betty's biography titled "Betty Williams: The best friend of Stella Price" by Stella Price will be out on October 21st.
*The interview with Miss Price was conducted through t'back of Rovers.
If I wasn't already crying with laughter, I am now. This is the greatest thread ever!!
It certainly is, we should stage a coup at the Corrie studios and take over the scriptwriting - what a team!
"take over the scriptwriting"?
So who is going to house the sacked chimps?:D
Why Stella, of course, in the back room of t'Rovers where they can have a permanent tea party. She can easily manage that, being an expert Chimp Whisperer - how else do you think she communicates with Karl? Oh dear, now I'm really being silly
It's fine. makes much more sense than some other posts...
No no lmao that lol was very silly yes. And bl--dy funny as well!
Too right! lol!!
my sides are hurting from laughing sooo much
so whenever a crime happens in weatherfield the judge hearing the case will be lady stella
the court cases will take place at the back of the rovers.
stella has also introduced the stella act 2012
S1 its is an offence to make hotpot outside of the rovers (maximum sentence 10yrs imprisonment)
S2 its an offence to refuse to take advice from lady stella (maximum sentence of 10 yrs)
S3 making leanne barlow/eva price angry(life imprisonment)
peter barlow has been charged with S3 of the stella act 2012 offence of making leanne barlow angry and he will now serve a life sentence of life imprisonment
peter girlfriend carla conner will face a punishment of being stoned to death
S5 Refusal to come through to the back (5-20 years- depends on tone in which the perpetrator refuses)