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Have you ever lost a close friend, or ended a friendship?
JigglyBall
Posts: 1,484 Forum Member
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Why, and how did you cope with it?
I was recently in this situation over something quite minor, and the damage done since is now irreparable. I actually feel quite sad about it, because obviously it isn't as easy to just 'make new friends' especially as you get older.
I was recently in this situation over something quite minor, and the damage done since is now irreparable. I actually feel quite sad about it, because obviously it isn't as easy to just 'make new friends' especially as you get older.
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I've had situations like this in the past where a friendship has got to the point where it could never be saved, but we sorted stuff out and all is good.
I haven't spoken to her for 8 or 9 years, and I do feel sad that our friendship ended the way it did, but I know for certain that breaking up with her was the right thing to do.
I also ended my friendships with a group after they started really nasty rumors and emotionally bullying me they were the cause of my illness (depression)
still im at college now and have some actual proper friends
Im 17 and i do find it hard to make friends since what happened
I am glad that I have done it, I feel much better about myself and life
We stopped the friendship by e-mail, telling each other how we felt & that we didn't really think of each other as best mates anymore.
I do still miss him & am finding myself sometimes replaying certain memories in my head. But I wouldn't want to be around him again - besides, too much was said and done at the end that it would also be quite irreparable.
I'm sorry to hear that
It wasn't such a long friendship, but I ended a friendship after a close friend broke up another mutual friend's marriage.
In September 2011 I ended a 2 year friendship with one guy as he was using me to give him lifts all the time despite him having a car of his own and wasn't giving me petrol money or anything so I had to draw a line there.
A year later I ended 2 more friendships. One guy I was friends with for 17 years. I had to end that one because he accused me of being gay with another friend of mine all because I wouldn't take him for a game of pool as I already made plans to go with my other friend to Bristol for a day out so I had to end my 17 year friendship there. The other guy I was friends with for 3 years who had recently split up with his girlfriend (whom I'm also close friends with) was acting like an idiot but being drunk in my car and putting my life in danger and also making me give two slappers a lift to some bar in Cardiff. That friendship ended when I grassed him up to his now ex girlfriend for the way he was behaving that night. He came into my workplace (where his ex also works) and started attacking her and making threats to me (although I'd finished my shift then, I was told about it by my friend who defended me). Those two friendships ended the same week but I'm not bothered at all.
As time went on, I found it impossible to work with her anymore, and yet with more time on her hands, she was around even more. I really got on with her husband and kids, and so was in a difficult position but did eventually, cut all ties. I felt sad for my kids and her's as they had played together a lot, and become really good friends. But the situation was untenable.
I did manage to manoeuvre the person I wanted into the top job behind me, but she stayed in the group and fairly active. I had, just before I left, organised a national conference and heard afterwards that it went off successfully and she took all the credit. That was a bit hard.
But I couldnt cope with her boozing and how it made her say and do things that weren't right for the group. And although she was my friend, I knew, just knew, I couldn't intervene with that or help her stop.
I have also been involved in the acrimonious break up of another group, but in that case the troublesome person was never a friend or anyone I liked and I had no qualms about cutting them adrift.
She'd been moaning about Christmas and having to buy for her grandchildren, thats bad enough from someone who thinks nothing of spending her benefits on daily trips to teashops and thinking nothing of buying coffee and cake at £5 a go. She also buys top of the range clothes and shoes, goes without nothing she wants basically.
Her son had announced he was expecting his 3rd baby and she was fuming, said she wished the baby would abhort so she wouldnt have another birthday present and another Christmas present to buy each year!
This after I'd suggested ages ago that she limit the costs to a small present each - a book for example doesn't cost much does it?
I was so disgusted with her attitude and wishing an unborn baby dead - that I walked away and will never ever go back.
First time I was 10 yrs old, and it was my best friend and next door neighbour since we were toddlers. Another friend and I did something stupid which hurt her emotionally, and I was too ashamed to ever talk to her again. It was easy back then to move on because we were so young, went to different schools and had other friends nearby.
Second time was a year ago. A good internet friend and I just drifted apart after 11 years. We had both supported each other tremendously through difficult times, but it got to the point where I felt he was making things up for attention, and I was always the one who had to make contact. Where we were once very close and warm, he just became so cold and distant over the last couple of years. We had previously stopped contacting each other for about 6 months, when I contacted him to let him know of a change of email address, as I just didn't want to let go. Within a few weeks it was back to the same old same old, and I just felt the friendship had become toxic and it was finally time to end it. I'd given him a second chance and it hadn't worked out. We haven't been in touch now for 14 months and I've no intentions of ever going back again.
If you're still feeling sad about it, OP, then perhaps there's a chance you can make up?
I don't really have advice on how to cope, I will say that other friends will be there and you'll make more. What you have to decide is whether the friend is worth fighting for.
Personally, I'm almost 40 and my friends acting like they are in the playground and want someone to be kept away because they can't cope with it when they chose to go to a gig where the other would be, well, I can't be arsed.
You get over it after a while... until the next time!
Yes it was sad she died of a brain tumour ... her husband met another woman a few months after. He then started saying that he never loved my friend and would have left her for this new woman if she had been alive. Why would anyone say that about his dead wife? I now have nothing to do with him or his children ... I do feel guilty about the children because my friend asked me look out for them. He has disowned his son now and married this woman but I don't think he has an easy life with this woman, so what comes around ....
Another one was an internet friend who used me to pass the time at work then when she got a new job, dropped me. She tried to make excuses and was awkward when we met the second time when I travelled from Scotland to Surrey to meet her. She also cba to see me when visiting Scotland.
Then two years later added me on Facebook, I accepted.
She was the type to show how pissed she got with her friends, so was very boring anyway. Now I live down south, she didn't want to meet up either.
I then dropped her from Facebook - it felt good doing that!
I alternate between really disliking him and mourning the friendship we had. I wouldn't say I am over it - but am slowly getting there. Its when I just feel indifferent towards him - which I currently do about 40% of the time - that I will know that I am there.