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little advice
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hey, haven't been on here in a while so hey. some of you may remember a thread on here a while back about my mum suffering from depression.
well basically she suffered from bipolar disorder for 20 odd years with a failed suicide attempt in 2001. she was put in the local clinic (shes been in and out for years) where she managed to slit her wrists. she was just recovering from this when unfortunately, her third attempt succeeded around three months ago on her birthday, and since then it has mostly been a blur. im in my last year at college (probably) failing all my subjects now, have no clue of what to do when i leave. not sure about uni as that would mean leaving my dad on his own (my sister is at uni) it has hit the family pretty hard. my dad seems to be coping ok, my nan isnt too good, she lost her daughter and best friend and is now ageing so quickly.. also, her mum passed away about 10 days ago.
i just feel so messed up, my heads everywhere and i just miss her so much, even though she used to drive me round the bend, still feels unreal that she isnt around.
sorry about the essay, just feel as though i needed to get that off my chest.
thanks.
well basically she suffered from bipolar disorder for 20 odd years with a failed suicide attempt in 2001. she was put in the local clinic (shes been in and out for years) where she managed to slit her wrists. she was just recovering from this when unfortunately, her third attempt succeeded around three months ago on her birthday, and since then it has mostly been a blur. im in my last year at college (probably) failing all my subjects now, have no clue of what to do when i leave. not sure about uni as that would mean leaving my dad on his own (my sister is at uni) it has hit the family pretty hard. my dad seems to be coping ok, my nan isnt too good, she lost her daughter and best friend and is now ageing so quickly.. also, her mum passed away about 10 days ago.
i just feel so messed up, my heads everywhere and i just miss her so much, even though she used to drive me round the bend, still feels unreal that she isnt around.
sorry about the essay, just feel as though i needed to get that off my chest.
thanks.
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I really would advise calling the Samaritans - they are there to listen, not offer advice - and sometimes it helps to say aloud how you feel. You've had to deal with an awful lot. I remember when someone close to me died, the grief hit me so hard that I felt like I couldn't breathe. It was such an earthquake in my life that I almost expected to see it as an item on the news, because I couldn't quite believe that something so shattering could pass without the outside world being aware of it. I'm so sorry that you've had to experience this, hope you have love and support around you.
There's only one piece of advice that I can offer you. Contact your University and explain what's happening. Also talk to your doctor.
When I was in my final year at Uni, my family hit a major crisis. My husband was seriously ill and we didn't know if he'd survive. The stress of a sick husband, three kids and a Uni course was too much and I began to fail.
The University accepted that it wasn't possible for me to complete my course and they gave me the degree anyway.
It wasn't the mark I'd hoped to get (I was in line for a 1st) but it was still a degree. Go and talk to them. At the very least they can let you repeat the year if necessary.
Right now you need to focus on the grieving process and get through as best you can.
Sending lots of positive thoughts
it sounds really sadistic, but I think i kinda subconsciously prepared for that to happen since 2001. i couldnt imagine my mum growing up to be an old woman, she would be too stubborn to get old
college is being very supportive, as well as my friends and family (we are close to my mums side)
just gotta take everyday as it comes i suppose.
I was a quite a high flying uni and I was told (in the nicest possible way) that I either had to do it properly or take a break. I didn't have a father to be concerned about (he had left years before) and there were lots of cousins to help my grandmother but I had to deal with all the practical things (funeral, solicitors, clearing out belongings etc) on my own and I had a younger sister.
I took a year out to do what needed to be done then went back and finished my degree. All these years later I'm really glad I finished and I have a sense of happiness in knowing that my mother would have been proud (and probably surprised) that I did it.
I was also reminded by my mum's specialist (who was lovely and came to her funeral) that I was not the one who died and that I had to build a life.
My grandmother never recovered from my mum's death and died less than 18 months later (which was another tough time as she and my mum brought me up).
I'm not sure if any of this is any use but it's just my way of saying I empathsie with your situation and hope you can find a way through. You need some wise people to guide you so you can make good decisions.
Don't think 'oh, my grades are going to be awful, unis won't let me in even if I do apply later on' because you can always redo them too.
At the moment, I think you need to sit down and talk with your Dad about what your goals are, what he wants from you and how you are going to fit it all into your lives now. Even if it's just that you get a job in a shop and work for a few years, until you and your family stop grieving (I hope that doesn't sound callous and you understand what I mean!)
I'm sorry for your loss.