I'm gay and have told my friends. We were all at a house party last night and there was a gay couple on the couch (one of them we've known since high school and his new boyfriend) and they kept cuddling and kissing and being really affectionate. It was extremely uncomfortable because everyone kept staring, making faces and bitching about them behind their back. I said to them "you do know you're being homophobic, don't you?" and they said "no, I don't mind them being gay I just don't like them rubbing it in my face". :
I wonder if they'd have the same reaction if it was a straight couple.
Of course not!
A straight couple do exactly the same and the most reaction it would get is "get a room you two!" in a laughing way. Only gay people and more accurately are seen as disgusting and stuffing it in peoples faces. And as that is discriminating on the grounds of sexuality then yes, it is homophobia.
Everything is still always judged and dictated from a straight male set of rules. That is why if it was two lesbians making out of the sofa, that would get the approval of the straight males who would giggle like 12 year olds. If however it was two male, then that is seen as disgusting and should be hidden from view according to the 'rules'.
Male and female expressing lust = Well that's all normal, innit!
Two females expressing lust = Great for watching!
Two males expressing lust = They shouldn't shove it down my throat - it's disgusting!
All from the viewpoint of a straight male viewpoint.
Lets have more showing of affection from gay males. It won't seem such a novelty then.
There's still a fair amount of homophobia where I live. I used to drink in a pub where this more straight than thou character used to go and he was forever going on about queers and how much he hated them and he also extended his homophobia to sportsmen other than rugby league players. TBH I often wonder if he was a closet gay himself.
Lets have more showing of affection from gay males. It won't seem such a novelty then.
Let's not. Let's not have such displays of affection in public from anyone. Why do some people think they should be showing off with such shameless affection in public? I don't care if it is a gay/straight couple, I don't want to see either in mass affectionate mauling in view of others.
Let's not. Let's not have such displays of affection in public from anyone. Why do some people think they should be showing off with such shameless affection in public? I don't care if it is a gay/straight couple, I don't want to see either in mass affectionate mauling in view of others.
That's the problem with many gay couples. It's like "Wahey, look at us, we're a couple!" before embarking on a full on snog on the train or something. Come on guys, get a room.
Let's not. Let's not have such displays of affection in public from anyone. Why do some people think they should be showing off with such shameless affection in public? I don't care if it is a gay/straight couple, I don't want to see either in mass affectionate mauling in view of others.
not a fan of public displays of affection either... am of the "lady/gentleman in the street, freak in the bedroom' school of thought! Do you what you want, but get a room first!
Let's not. Let's not have such displays of affection in public from anyone. Why do some people think they should be showing off with such shameless affection in public? I don't care if it is a gay/straight couple, I don't want to see either in mass affectionate mauling in view of others.
Why should people be ashamed of displaying their affection for another? And what exactly counts as a mass affectionate mauling?
Why are we so bloody afraid of being affectionate in this country? What is so disturbing about seeing two people in love displaying that for the world to see? Talk about repressed.
Why should people be ashamed of displaying their affection for another? And what exactly counts as a mass affectionate mauling?
Why are we so bloody afraid of being affectionate in this country? What is so disturbing about seeing two people in love displaying that for the world to see? Talk about repressed.
So as we get older we should be embarrassed about the fact that we like another person and should hide it away lest we reveal our feelings? Sounds like in that situation the teenager is the more mature person.
Just thought I'd add my humble opinion to this discussion
I think, with any minority group in society, we perhaps don't realise the full extent of discrimination or prejudice people in that minority group face in their day to day life unless we're actually part of that group. For example, as a white woman born and raised in England, I have no first hand experiences of what it must be like to be someone of an ethnic minority. Therefore, I can never (as open minded as I am, and as aware as I am of prejudice/discrimination) have a complete full understanding of how it must be.
As a lesbian, I can say from my own experience that prejudice most certainly does exist. And yes, it's from an ignorant minority. But it's still there.
In high school, I was outed by someone and my life changed considerably. The changing rooms at school were a nightmare (to the point where I would often wait until the other girls had left until I went in to change.) I was never physically attacked, but people did shout ''dyke'' at me in the corridor, and make various other comments about my sexuality. One one occasion, a girl actually refused to sit in front of my in Science because ''She'll stare at my arse!'' Anyway, things improved when I went to sixth form, and people were incredibly accepting. It stopped even being an issue, because the people who had a problem with it had dropped out of school at the age of 16.
I then went to uni, and moved into halls in an attempt to gain some confidence. On the second day, one of the 5 girls I was living with was talking about her boyfriend (saying he was worried about her being at uni in case she met someone else etc.) I replied ''Oh, my girlfriend thinks that too.'' This girl was perfectly fine during that conversation, but mentioned it to my flatmates and from that point on, things were hell (to the point where I just stayed in my room all the time rather than face them.) I stupidly thought people would have matured by the age of 18 and be more open minded and accepting. The 5 girls returned home one night (3 in the morning actually) and brought back a bunch of random guys they met in the club. Their loudness woke me up (walls were ridiculously thin) and they proceeded to go in to the kitchen and talk about me. Which went something like this:
Random guy: Which room does the lesbian live in?
Girl I'd spoken to about my girlfriend: Next to me.
Other random guy: Do you have a problem with it?
Girl I'd spoken to: I didn't need to know that.
Random guy: So, what's she like?
Other girl I lived with: Oh, she's just a lesbian.
All of them: Hysterical laughter.
I could go on, but I won't. Anyway, perhaps because they weren't calling me a ''f**ing dyke'' etc, a lot of posters will think that what they said/ did wasn't that bad. But to a shy 18 year old sitting in her room on her own and hearing her new flatmates talking about her like that, it was incredibly upsetting. I called my parents in tears at 5 in the morning and asked them to come and take me back home. Which they did.
Oh, and my Mum said it was my fault, because I'd only known them a few days before I spoke to one of them about my girlfriend. She said ''You shouldn't have gone in there flaunting your sexuality.''
Apologies for the long post, but those are just a few of many experiences I could tell you about. No, I'm not playing the victim. And I don't ''flaunt my sexuality'' or play the ''gay card.'' But I think I have the right to be myself, without being told I should expect some people to abuse me for it. It's almost like we're expected to hide it. And if we don't, and end up getting abused, then a minority of people seem to think it's somehow our fault for being open about it. Like we're deliberately provoking people.
Why should people be ashamed of displaying their affection for another? And what exactly counts as a mass affectionate mauling?
Why are we so bloody afraid of being affectionate in this country? What is so disturbing about seeing two people in love displaying that for the world to see? Talk about repressed.
Affection to me is holding hands, light petting etc. It's not heavy petting and there's nothing repressed about this view, it's about modesty. What is so disturbing about reserving heavy petting for the privacy of your own home and having a bit of public modesty?
So as we get older we should be embarrassed about the fact that we like another person and should hide it away lest we reveal our feelings? Sounds like in that situation the teenager is the more mature person.
Just thought I'd add my humble opinion to this discussion
I think, with any minority group in society, we perhaps don't realise the full extent of discrimination or prejudice people in that minority group face in their day to day life unless we're actually part of that group. For example, as a white woman born and raised in England, I have no first hand experiences of what it must be like to be someone of an ethnic minority. Therefore, I can never (as open minded as I am, and as aware as I am of prejudice/discrimination) have a complete full understanding of how it must be.
As a lesbian, I can say from my own experience that prejudice most certainly does exist. And yes, it's from an ignorant minority. But it's still there.
In high school, I was outed by someone and my life changed considerably. The changing rooms at school were a nightmare (to the point where I would often wait until the other girls had left until I went in to change.) I was never physically attacked, but people did shout ''dyke'' at me in the corridor, and make various other comments about my sexuality. One one occasion, a girl actually refused to sit in front of my in Science because ''She'll stare at my arse!'' Anyway, things improved when I went to sixth form, and people were incredibly accepting. It stopped even being an issue, because the people who had a problem with it had dropped out of school at the age of 16.
I then went to uni, and moved into halls in an attempt to gain some confidence. On the second day, one of the 5 girls I was living with was talking about her boyfriend (saying he was worried about her being at uni in case she met someone else etc.) I replied ''Oh, my girlfriend thinks that too.'' This girl was perfectly fine during that conversation, but mentioned it to my flatmates and from that point on, things were hell (to the point where I just stayed in my room all the time rather than face them.) I stupidly thought people would have matured by the age of 18 and be more open minded and accepting. The 5 girls returned home one night (3 in the morning actually) and brought back a bunch of random guys they met in the club. Their loudness woke me up (walls were ridiculously thin) and they proceeded to go in to the kitchen and talk about me. Which went something like this:
Random guy: Which room does the lesbian live in?
Girl I'd spoken to about my girlfriend: Next to me.
Other random guy: Do you have a problem with it?
Girl I'd spoken to: I didn't need to know that.
Random guy: So, what's she like?
Other girl I lived with: Oh, she's just a lesbian.
All of them: Hysterical laughter.
I could go on, but I won't. Anyway, perhaps because they weren't calling me a ''f**ing dyke'' etc, a lot of posters will think that what they said/ did wasn't that bad. But to a shy 18 year old sitting in her room on her own and hearing her new flatmates talking about her like that, it was incredibly upsetting. I called my parents in tears at 5 in the morning and asked them to come and take me back home. Which they did.
Oh, and my Mum said it was my fault, because I'd only known them a few days before I spoke to one of them about my girlfriend. She said ''You shouldn't have gone in there flaunting your sexuality.''
Apologies for the long post, but those are just a few of many experiences I could tell you about. No, I'm not playing the victim. And I don't ''flaunt my sexuality'' or play the ''gay card.'' But I think I have the right to be myself, without being told I should expect some people to abuse me for it. It's almost like we're expected to hide it. And if we don't, and end up getting abused, then a minority of people seem to think it's somehow our fault for being open about it. Like we're deliberately provoking people.
That's awful, sorry to hear that. Particularly at such a vulnerable age. I hope things got better for you?
I didn't have a girlfriend for years and don't do laddish, so to the local ignoramuses this= gay. Basically in some people's eyes if you don't like football, don't act hard, don't dress like they do( football shirts/tracksuits), aren't seen with a partner or go around nightclubs s!"gging this that and the other, this means you're gay. Also coming from the North East and not liking football can get certain assumptions made even though none of my close family liked the sport.
Affection to me is holding hands, light petting etc. It's not heavy petting and there's nothing repressed about this view, it's about modesty. What is so disturbing about reserving heavy petting for the privacy of your own home and having a bit of public modesty?
Fair enough I suppose. But it is the double standard that many seem to hold that is the issue. Two gay people simply holding hands is seen by some to be 'flaunting their sexuality', 'shoving it in peoples faces' etc. whenever they would never bat an eyelid at a man and woman doing the same thing.
I understand that people will have different views on how much public affection they like to see and so on but that must surely be consistent and across the board.
Fair enough I suppose. But it is the double standard that many seem to hold that is the issue. Two gay people simply holding hands is seen by some to be 'flaunting their sexuality', 'shoving it in peoples faces' etc. whenever they would never bat an eyelid at a man and woman doing the same thing.
I understand that people will have different views on how much public affection they like to see and so on but that must surely be consistent and across the board.
This. No double standards. If it is ok for straight people then it is ok for gay people - because we are all people.
As for prejudice - well it still exists sadly, but it is (in my experience) less prevalent now, and it is diminishing (in most of the UK). That's great of course but no reason to be complacent - there are plenty of homophobes and violence, abuse and prejudice against gay people. I am glad that there are gay people who have not experienced prejudice - it shows that the work to highlight and deal with the problem has worked. But it isn't over.
I hope gays get accepted, otherwise there is no hope for red-heads, foreigners, fatties, poor people etc.
It would seem that many people need someone to hate.
I hope gays get accepted, otherwise there is no hope for red-heads, foreigners, fatties, poor people etc.
It would seem that many people need someone to hate.
Exactly there will always be narrow minded people around.
I just don't understand why anyone cares about other peoples sexuality, particularly when you can't really choose which way you swing. Why there's so much controversy and discussion about gay people and all this big hurrah about "coming out" and all the stuff about gay rights...it's just so unneccessary. Why is it even a big deal?
I just don't understand why anyone cares about other peoples sexuality, particularly when you can't really choose which way you swing. Why there's so much controversy and discussion about gay people and all this big hurrah about "coming out" and all the stuff about gay rights...it's just so unneccessary. Why is it even a big deal?
Because people feel the need to re-assure themselves that they're better than everyone so take an aspect of somebody's being and hate that aspect in order to make the person feel be littled and thus smaller than the aggressor..
Comments
Of course not!
A straight couple do exactly the same and the most reaction it would get is "get a room you two!" in a laughing way. Only gay people and more accurately are seen as disgusting and stuffing it in peoples faces. And as that is discriminating on the grounds of sexuality then yes, it is homophobia.
Everything is still always judged and dictated from a straight male set of rules. That is why if it was two lesbians making out of the sofa, that would get the approval of the straight males who would giggle like 12 year olds. If however it was two male, then that is seen as disgusting and should be hidden from view according to the 'rules'.
Male and female expressing lust = Well that's all normal, innit!
Two females expressing lust = Great for watching!
Two males expressing lust = They shouldn't shove it down my throat - it's disgusting!
All from the viewpoint of a straight male viewpoint.
Lets have more showing of affection from gay males. It won't seem such a novelty then.
It's only based on male and female from ignorant people as well educated people can see that gay people are as natural as straight people.
But I agree, there will always be ignorant people and it's that that is the problem and what needs to change.
Let's not. Let's not have such displays of affection in public from anyone. Why do some people think they should be showing off with such shameless affection in public? I don't care if it is a gay/straight couple, I don't want to see either in mass affectionate mauling in view of others.
That's the problem with many gay couples. It's like "Wahey, look at us, we're a couple!" before embarking on a full on snog on the train or something. Come on guys, get a room.
not a fan of public displays of affection either... am of the "lady/gentleman in the street, freak in the bedroom' school of thought!
Why should people be ashamed of displaying their affection for another? And what exactly counts as a mass affectionate mauling?
Why are we so bloody afraid of being affectionate in this country? What is so disturbing about seeing two people in love displaying that for the world to see? Talk about repressed.
It's alright if you're like, 13 years old.
So as we get older we should be embarrassed about the fact that we like another person and should hide it away lest we reveal our feelings? Sounds like in that situation the teenager is the more mature person.
However, as somebody else said, homophobic religions are not going anywhere, so there will always still be elements of disdain for it....
I think, with any minority group in society, we perhaps don't realise the full extent of discrimination or prejudice people in that minority group face in their day to day life unless we're actually part of that group. For example, as a white woman born and raised in England, I have no first hand experiences of what it must be like to be someone of an ethnic minority. Therefore, I can never (as open minded as I am, and as aware as I am of prejudice/discrimination) have a complete full understanding of how it must be.
As a lesbian, I can say from my own experience that prejudice most certainly does exist. And yes, it's from an ignorant minority. But it's still there.
In high school, I was outed by someone and my life changed considerably. The changing rooms at school were a nightmare (to the point where I would often wait until the other girls had left until I went in to change.) I was never physically attacked, but people did shout ''dyke'' at me in the corridor, and make various other comments about my sexuality. One one occasion, a girl actually refused to sit in front of my in Science because ''She'll stare at my arse!'' Anyway, things improved when I went to sixth form, and people were incredibly accepting. It stopped even being an issue, because the people who had a problem with it had dropped out of school at the age of 16.
I then went to uni, and moved into halls in an attempt to gain some confidence. On the second day, one of the 5 girls I was living with was talking about her boyfriend (saying he was worried about her being at uni in case she met someone else etc.) I replied ''Oh, my girlfriend thinks that too.'' This girl was perfectly fine during that conversation, but mentioned it to my flatmates and from that point on, things were hell (to the point where I just stayed in my room all the time rather than face them.) I stupidly thought people would have matured by the age of 18 and be more open minded and accepting. The 5 girls returned home one night (3 in the morning actually) and brought back a bunch of random guys they met in the club. Their loudness woke me up (walls were ridiculously thin) and they proceeded to go in to the kitchen and talk about me. Which went something like this:
Random guy: Which room does the lesbian live in?
Girl I'd spoken to about my girlfriend: Next to me.
Other random guy: Do you have a problem with it?
Girl I'd spoken to: I didn't need to know that.
Random guy: So, what's she like?
Other girl I lived with: Oh, she's just a lesbian.
All of them: Hysterical laughter.
I could go on, but I won't. Anyway, perhaps because they weren't calling me a ''f**ing dyke'' etc, a lot of posters will think that what they said/ did wasn't that bad. But to a shy 18 year old sitting in her room on her own and hearing her new flatmates talking about her like that, it was incredibly upsetting. I called my parents in tears at 5 in the morning and asked them to come and take me back home. Which they did.
Oh, and my Mum said it was my fault, because I'd only known them a few days before I spoke to one of them about my girlfriend. She said ''You shouldn't have gone in there flaunting your sexuality.''
Apologies for the long post, but those are just a few of many experiences I could tell you about. No, I'm not playing the victim. And I don't ''flaunt my sexuality'' or play the ''gay card.'' But I think I have the right to be myself, without being told I should expect some people to abuse me for it. It's almost like we're expected to hide it. And if we don't, and end up getting abused, then a minority of people seem to think it's somehow our fault for being open about it. Like we're deliberately provoking people.
Affection to me is holding hands, light petting etc. It's not heavy petting and there's nothing repressed about this view, it's about modesty. What is so disturbing about reserving heavy petting for the privacy of your own home and having a bit of public modesty?
It's just a juvenile thing to be doing.
That's awful, sorry to hear that. Particularly at such a vulnerable age. I hope things got better for you?
Fair enough I suppose. But it is the double standard that many seem to hold that is the issue. Two gay people simply holding hands is seen by some to be 'flaunting their sexuality', 'shoving it in peoples faces' etc. whenever they would never bat an eyelid at a man and woman doing the same thing.
I understand that people will have different views on how much public affection they like to see and so on but that must surely be consistent and across the board.
If you think people wouldn't still be homophobic without religion, you're sadly mistaken
This. No double standards. If it is ok for straight people then it is ok for gay people - because we are all people.
As for prejudice - well it still exists sadly, but it is (in my experience) less prevalent now, and it is diminishing (in most of the UK). That's great of course but no reason to be complacent - there are plenty of homophobes and violence, abuse and prejudice against gay people. I am glad that there are gay people who have not experienced prejudice - it shows that the work to highlight and deal with the problem has worked. But it isn't over.
It would seem that many people need someone to hate.
Exactly there will always be narrow minded people around.
Because people feel the need to re-assure themselves that they're better than everyone so take an aspect of somebody's being and hate that aspect in order to make the person feel be littled and thus smaller than the aggressor..