Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)

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  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Look! Sausage Cake with a LARD coating! What more could you ask for!

    http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6140/5990767659_f12c772566_z.jpg

    Eurgh. I'm really hungry at the moment, but that looks revolting. Phil would love it though, and Aud would lick the plate.:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 100
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    The very notion of a lard cake reminded me of this!
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    The very notion of a lard cake reminded me of this!

    Don't you mean they're MISERABLE because they eat lard?? Actually, lard is the only thing that holds that lot together :D
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    I wonder how Phil and the gang got on at the zoo. He's at least updated his FB with the obligatory Friday "Hope you are all well, tak car xxx" crap, so we know he's not been snared and put in a pen at least or been captured in the interest of science :D
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    The very notion of a lard cake reminded me of this!
    Is that a real advert?:eek: I would love to buy that poster and have it framed, on the wall, in my kitchen. it's chawnertastic.
  • Saltydog1955Saltydog1955 Posts: 4,134
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    Is that a real advert?:eek: I would love to buy that poster and have it framed, on the wall, in my kitchen. it's chawnertastic.

    Plenty of 'Lard' t-shirts and other stuff here. 14 pages in fact! :D Perhaps the picture could be reworked featuring the Chawners and not the nice slim family.

    http://www.zazzle.co.uk/lard+gifts

    Apparently the ad was a Viz spoof which caught on.
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Plenty of 'Lard' t-shirts and other stuff here. 14 pages in fact! :D Perhaps the picture could be reworked featuring the Chawners and not the nice slim family.

    http://www.zazzle.co.uk/lard+gifts

    Apparently the ad was a Viz spoof which caught on.
    Thank you :) I hope someone with photoshop skills can put the Chawners in the picture, that would be so funny. We could send it to Phil on facebook, and he'll be chuffed as he'll think it's yet more proof he is as famous as St Peter of Andre.

    I think I'm going to get myself a "Praise The Lard" t-shirt. Although I quite like the "I Love Animals - With Ketchup" one as well:D:D:D
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    Thank you :) I hope someone with photoshop skills can put the Chawners in the picture, that would be so funny. We could send it to Phil on facebook, and he'll be chuffed as he'll think it's yet more proof he is as famous as St Peter of Andre.

    I think I'm going to get myself a "Praise The Lard" t-shirt. Although I quite like the "I Love Animals - With Ketchup" one as well:D:D:D

    :eek: *pant* *puff* *gasp* We fell off of page one :eek:

    I would love a Praise the Lard tshirt. It'll go nicely with my Keep Calm and Chawn On one :D
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    kiviraat wrote: »
    :eek: *pant* *puff* *gasp* We fell off of page one :eek:

    I would love a Praise the Lard tshirt. It'll go nicely with my Keep Calm and Chawn On one :D
    It's a chore, keeping the Chawners on page one, when they do nothing of interest. :D Maybe next week, when Closer is out, with the Chawner interview, there will be more to talk about? If not, perhaps it's time to bid adieu to Britain's Fattest Family :cry:
  • MehitabelMehitabel Posts: 936
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    If not, perhaps it's time to bid adieu to Britain's Fattest Family :cry:

    SOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:cry:
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Oh dear, the Cult of Chawner appears to have gone :cry:

    Or is everyone on holiday?

    Perhaps they are all having a fabulous time in Great Chawnmouth.

    Bring me back a stick of rock:D And a Kiss Me Philth hat;)
  • lotty27lotty27 Posts: 17,858
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    The trouble is that they're just too boring nowadays (court cases aside but they don't happen very often). It doesn't look like Philth is writing anything on his FB, or nothing of any interest anyway, and the only programmes on the TV are repeats - and let's face it, we've talked those episodes to death even though I always catch something I missed the first time - like Phil talking about the huge pads he had for his piles! Wow, they must have been some Chawner sized piles! :eek:

    I might break the habit of lifetime and buy whatever gossipy magazine they're in just to see what they're moaning/bragging about this time! No doubt they'll be playing the victim yet again :rolleyes::D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    I'm still here! :) I check the thread everyday but as mentioned not a lot has been happening in Chawnerworld.

    Hopefully the Closer article will provide enough material to get this thread out of this rut! :)
  • orangesmartieorangesmartie Posts: 3,709
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    Sorry i haven't been around to help keep the thread on page 1. My sister went into labour late on thursday night and on friday afternoon i was blessed with a beautiful nephew (his mother managed to keep me from strangling her for the 18 hours we were confined to the delivery suite).

    Anyway I digress. I stopped watching the chawns, their smug self-entitledness just made me rage at the TV. However, since i stopped watching, my exercise regime has tailed off, so it might be time to reinstate the weekly chawn-fests to recapture that motivation.

    I still haven't seen the first couple of eps of series 1, so thats something to look forward to.

    And I don't feel sorry for sam, she's rude and overbearing, think she knows it all (shouting at Aud about the cheese) but can't do basic maths to work out her caloric intake from packet meals.
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Congratulations Auntie orangesmartie, wonderful news:)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,681
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    I've just started watching the repeats of this again and they still appall me even though I've already seen what's happened.

    What I find very strange is that whenever one of them goes off and does something good such as Emma going to that army camp in Scotland, Sam going off to America or getting a job, the rest of the family get really jealous and nasty.

    It's as if they all see themselves as the same person and hate the fact that one of them should actually start to move on in their lives. Maybe this explains why Phil and Audrey's son has nothing to do with them anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if they turned on him for doing something with his life.
  • hammerfanhammerfan Posts: 1,696
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    Congratulations Orangesmartie! Fantastic news! :)

    I've pretty much stayed away from the thread as I find the family annoy me too much! The jokes, lyrics, poems and ideas for reality tv have made me laugh, but these days I'm back to being pretty much a lurker on this thread.

    EuroChris you're exactly spot on. The moment anyone shows any sign of backbone, Phil tries to squash it out of them. It's hard to believe he made his son chose between his new born child or them - I think Chris made the right decision and got the heck out of there! Maybe he's worried that if the girls struck out on their own, they'd soon discover that their excess fat isn't down to genes - it's down to food and lack of exercise, then maybe, just maybe, they'd question their parents on their upbringing.
  • wannabegothchavwannabegothchav Posts: 1,690
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    What date is the magazine out? Its Closer isn't it?
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    What date is the magazine out? Its Closer isn't it?
    28th August - I have it written in my diary, I need a reminder to choose the longest checkout queue in Tesco so I can read it while I wait to be served.
  • LillyleiLillylei Posts: 382
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    Right I meant to post this ages ago.

    I think it was the episode that Sam had her driving lesson, Filth and Aud were outside seeing her off (why the hell were they, nice way to put her off, like specters at the feast) they said 'we're being watched' 'oh I expect we are' etc.

    Is this the ex magistrate do we think?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 137
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    Happy birthday CoC! I've been absent but on a non stop eatin-a-thon which was a bit Chawner like! No sausages though, I'll admit to chorizo but not sure they'd class that as a sausage :p
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 129
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    Just watching the bit where Phil and Emma are laying into Sam about her boyfriend. Emma almost seems to have some sort of personality disorder, what kind of sister makes fun of their sibling like that, not to mention how creepy it is that Phil was at it too.

    I have a friend who's in a similar situation with controlling parents, her response was to leave the family home and stay with friends for a few days. She just left my place today and is now at her boyfriend's. What's stopping Sam from just packing a bag and going to stay with her boyfriend for a bit? If my Dad tried that with me I'd be out the door.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    28th August - I have it written in my diary, I need a reminder to choose the longest checkout queue in Tesco so I can read it while I wait to be served.
    Lol that's a great idea Tenorlady! :) I think I will go to my local tesco extra too as the queues are insanely long in there so ample time to read and digest the latest Chawner revelations.

    I sincerely hope the Daily Mail pick up on their latest Closer article, there was a flurry of media attention last time they published extracts of their too fat to work-we deserve more money story.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    Hmm out of curiosity I just did a twitter search for 'chawners' and came across this pic:
    http://t.co/lIwo74xE on Lizzie Cundy's twitter. :confused: those girls look realllly like Emma and Sam. What do you all think?

    Its from Lizzie Cundy filming an advert. :eek:
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    Simi89 wrote: »
    Hmm out of curiosity I just did a twitter search for 'chawners' and came across this pic:
    http://t.co/lIwo74xE on Lizzie Cundy's twitter. :confused: those girls look realllly like Emma and Sam. What do you all think?

    Its from Lizzie Cundy filming an advert. :eek:
    That IS Emma and Sam!:eek: It certainly looks like them - but why hasn't Phil been telling the world via facebook about his daughters? How very strange. I wonder what the advert is for?
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