I'm only dating at the moment. I think he might duck and run for cover if I started suggesting wedding plans
lol same
Back on topic, I have never been to a gay wedding but would be very interested to see one and if it differs in any way. I like the idea that what people are starting to do now could become tradition.
I am to be 'best woman' for my ex-husband who is marrying his partner in October. They plan to walk in from opposite sides of the venue as it has two aisles. I think I have to follow walking their dog on a beribboned lead (unless I can talk them out of it).
There are so many cheering factors in this plan that I don't know where to start.
I'm getting married on the 20th of this month and we have tried to do it traditionally, as traditional as two women marrying can get. I'm the 'boy one' and will be waiting at the top of the alter with my two best men (ones female) and my future missus will be being given away by her dad.
I'm getting married on the 20th of this month and we have tried to do it traditionally, as traditional as two women marrying can get. I'm the 'boy one' and will be waiting at the top of the alter with my two best men (ones female) and my future missus will be being given away by her dad.
Congratulations, I hope you both have a fabulous day and a long and happy married life together.
My partner and I had a fantastic civil partnership ceremony back in 2006.
We walked in together, each of us had a family member as ring-bearer (best man equivalent), other friends and family gave readings, and we took turns to make our speech at the end.
I'm sure we'd have done the same if it had been a wedding under the new law.
We never thought of changing our surnames, though we know a lesbian couple who are both called Gill and who now both have the same surname. It's very confusing! (You might have seen one of them as a contestant on the TV quiz show "The Chase" recently.)
I don't understand why in this day and age people feel they have to comply to these ridiculous outdated traditions of who is supposed to say and do what and who should sit where etc.
It's YOUR wedding so YOU please yourself and do what YOU want to do and what feels right for YOU. Why worry about old fashioned protocols? We did away with traditions in our wedding and just did what felt right for us and we all had a cracking day.
I don't understand why in this day and age people feel they have to comply to these ridiculous outdated traditions of who is supposed to say and do what and where people should sit etc.
It's YOUR wedding so YOU please yourself and do what YOU want to do and what feels right for YOU. Why worry about old fashioned protocols?
Surely by doing some traditional things it's because they WANT to do traditional things. It is actually quite nice that some traditions continue or we wouldn't have any.
My sister had a civil partnership many years ago. They both walking together, the rest of the day was just like a normal wedding. Couldn't pick it apart from any other. They double-barelled their surnames.
I photographed my first gay wedding this year. They had the official bit in a registry office. They really weren't keen on it at all and just wanted it out of the way. They walked in together, not change of surnames.
The real part of their wedding was a one and half hour ceremony they had designed themselves. This was in an Oxford college chapel, followed by the traditional meal with speeches and disco in the evening. If I recall correctly the first dance song was "It's raining men"!
The important thing to remember is that it's your day, you do what you want. Don't bow to pressure from other people.
Surely by doing some traditional things it's because they WANT to do traditional things. It is actually quite nice that some traditions continue or we wouldn't have any.
Yes but I think too much emphasis is put on doing things a certain way which puts unnecessary added pressure on the happy couple. Too many couples seem to spend too much time worrying about what other people think and tying to get things textbook perfect and worrying about etiquette and protocols instead of just doing what they want.
What difference does it make how many best men you have or what order you walk down the aisle or who sits next to who on the top table. As long as you do what's right for you then that's all that matters.
As others have said, do what you want. Weddings don't have to have rigid rules.
I agree with this. I had a registry office wedding in the 80's (hetro, obviously) and I didn't do the walking down the aisle thing. It wasn't allowed then, for some reason, we just had to wait with our guests then walk in together. I was quite relieved really, because I didn't want to walk down the aisle to music while everyone stared at me.But people seem to think that this is an essential part of a wedding nowadays.
When my Mrs and I had our day. We both walked in together. We had no bridesmaid/best persons. We just had our family and friends, kept everything very low key and had a fantastic day.
However, if you guys want four best men, and want to invite everyone from your town I would say that's your business.
A few people obviously didn't read my original post very well.
I'm not looking for ideas for my wedding, I merely pointed out how some things that ARE traditional for a wedding (whether you like them or not) would have to be altered. I understand that I can get married absolutely any way I want (I love Dont Tell The Bride haha), it was really just a place to discuss how some same-sex weddings were run that you've been to; because lets be honest, a good majority of straight weddings ARE done the traditional way.
And to the person who said calling I shouldn't call it a gay wedding, obviously we wouldn't be sending out 'gay wedding invitations', but to keep the topic short but to the point, 'gay weddings' was the easiest way to describe it.
Women seem to prefer the term lesbian rather than gay, but "gay" still covers both sexes.
I think it is an area where people should show goodwill and not take pointless offence. Sometimes it is useful to make a distinction and sometimes it isn't; it is a lop-sided situation because there is on comparable word meaning only 'gay men'. I am sure we all know what is under discussion if someone uses the term 'gay weddings' and doesn't think we are only discussing men.
So last month I had the honour of being best man to my mate as he got married to his now-wife. And of course it was the traditional wedding, the bride and her bridesmaids, the groom and his best man, the father of the bride, groom and best man doing speeches, father giving his daughter away etc.
But it got me thinking, as a gay man myself I've never actually been to a gay wedding so don't really know how they work. Who walks down the aisle, who does speeches, who are the wedding party etc. I would love to get married one day (although I HATE attention lol) but not even sure how it would work. I know none of these things are the same but in a general sense how would it work?
I'd love to have 2 best men, cause I've got 2 best mates and want them both there with me. But then what if my hubby wants two too, does that mean 6 speeches? And that doesn't include parents (if any) giving theirs.
Me and my boyfriend are both males, and act like it, there's no stereotypical "girl in the relationship", so don't suggest the more feminine one take on the bridal role.
This is just a thread for discussion really rather than advice. Have you ever been to a gay / lesbian wedding, and how did it run? What made it different from a straight wedding? Any surprises? Asides from a little more Kylie in the disco.
Hi Woody
I went to a gay wedding about 8 years ago, they both walked down the aisle together.. they looked lovely... wore matching waistcoats, they both made speeches, there was no man/woman of the relationship.. they just seemed to fit, the afterparty was wild, food was super, as were the flowers
Comments
lol same
Back on topic, I have never been to a gay wedding but would be very interested to see one and if it differs in any way. I like the idea that what people are starting to do now could become tradition.
I'm guessing it was finger food
I'm getting married on the 20th of this month and we have tried to do it traditionally, as traditional as two women marrying can get. I'm the 'boy one' and will be waiting at the top of the alter with my two best men (ones female) and my future missus will be being given away by her dad.
It wasn't a buffet, it was a sit down meal. I forget what was on the menu but remember it being jolly good!
We walked in together, each of us had a family member as ring-bearer (best man equivalent), other friends and family gave readings, and we took turns to make our speech at the end.
I'm sure we'd have done the same if it had been a wedding under the new law.
We never thought of changing our surnames, though we know a lesbian couple who are both called Gill and who now both have the same surname. It's very confusing! (You might have seen one of them as a contestant on the TV quiz show "The Chase" recently.)
It's YOUR wedding so YOU please yourself and do what YOU want to do and what feels right for YOU. Why worry about old fashioned protocols? We did away with traditions in our wedding and just did what felt right for us and we all had a cracking day.
Surely by doing some traditional things it's because they WANT to do traditional things. It is actually quite nice that some traditions continue or we wouldn't have any.
I photographed my first gay wedding this year. They had the official bit in a registry office. They really weren't keen on it at all and just wanted it out of the way. They walked in together, not change of surnames.
The real part of their wedding was a one and half hour ceremony they had designed themselves. This was in an Oxford college chapel, followed by the traditional meal with speeches and disco in the evening. If I recall correctly the first dance song was "It's raining men"!
The important thing to remember is that it's your day, you do what you want. Don't bow to pressure from other people.
Yes but I think too much emphasis is put on doing things a certain way which puts unnecessary added pressure on the happy couple. Too many couples seem to spend too much time worrying about what other people think and tying to get things textbook perfect and worrying about etiquette and protocols instead of just doing what they want.
What difference does it make how many best men you have or what order you walk down the aisle or who sits next to who on the top table. As long as you do what's right for you then that's all that matters.
I agree with this. I had a registry office wedding in the 80's (hetro, obviously) and I didn't do the walking down the aisle thing. It wasn't allowed then, for some reason, we just had to wait with our guests then walk in together. I was quite relieved really, because I didn't want to walk down the aisle to music while everyone stared at me.But people seem to think that this is an essential part of a wedding nowadays.
Thanks Frankie
This^
When my Mrs and I had our day. We both walked in together. We had no bridesmaid/best persons. We just had our family and friends, kept everything very low key and had a fantastic day.
However, if you guys want four best men, and want to invite everyone from your town I would say that's your business.
Hope you have a lovely day whatever you do x
I'm not looking for ideas for my wedding, I merely pointed out how some things that ARE traditional for a wedding (whether you like them or not) would have to be altered. I understand that I can get married absolutely any way I want (I love Dont Tell The Bride haha), it was really just a place to discuss how some same-sex weddings were run that you've been to; because lets be honest, a good majority of straight weddings ARE done the traditional way.
And to the person who said calling I shouldn't call it a gay wedding, obviously we wouldn't be sending out 'gay wedding invitations', but to keep the topic short but to the point, 'gay weddings' was the easiest way to describe it.
Was there any prawn cocktail offered as starter?
I don't believe so.
Then why is there a distinction made in the acronym "LGBT"?
Genuine question.
Women seem to prefer the term lesbian rather than gay, but "gay" still covers both sexes.
I think it is an area where people should show goodwill and not take pointless offence. Sometimes it is useful to make a distinction and sometimes it isn't; it is a lop-sided situation because there is on comparable word meaning only 'gay men'. I am sure we all know what is under discussion if someone uses the term 'gay weddings' and doesn't think we are only discussing men.
Hi Woody
I went to a gay wedding about 8 years ago, they both walked down the aisle together.. they looked lovely... wore matching waistcoats, they both made speeches, there was no man/woman of the relationship.. they just seemed to fit, the afterparty was wild, food was super, as were the flowers
Sadly they had a big gay divorce last year
I don't... I absolutely hate being called a lesbian. Gay all the way.