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Suralan's One Liners....PMSL!
laineythenomad
Posts: 3,495 Forum Member
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I think SAS has missed his true vocation, he'd make a great stand-up comedian. Some of his comments tonight had me in stitches, e.g. "There's a village somewhere missing an idiot". Classic stuff.....what are your favourite SAS gems?
btw sorry if this thread has already been done - if it has, would someone be kind enough to post a link? thanks.
btw sorry if this thread has already been done - if it has, would someone be kind enough to post a link? thanks.
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"I'll give you true vocation!" - SAS
"I'll give you a comedian!" - SAS
"Ill give you stitches!" - SAS
"I'll give you SAS gems!" - SAS
I liked "I'm harder to play than a Stradivarius!" - which are actually no harder to play than any other violin, just a lot more expensive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G256H_Q0bI
Michael - Yes I'm a good Jewish boy
SAS - Well if you're unsure you can always take pull trousers down so we can check
I liked that impromptu gag about wotisname being like a cement mixer -- solid but set in your ways? Hilarious.
"Bit like me really, not much to look at, but worth a lot"
Classic
Binnman
With lines like "I'm harder to play than a Stradivarius" it sounds like they've employed the same scriptwriter who works on 'The Weakest Link'.
I've definitely heard the "village idiot" line from Anne Robinson some time ago!
Believe it or not that phrase has been used for years. It wasn't invented for TV...
PMSL am waiting for an oppportunity to use that
Hilarious
"I know you talk down to people, I'm getting a rick in my neck looking up at you"
I loved this one as well!
I enjoy the Apprentice for watching the candidates and how they go about trying to pass the task. It's their behaviour in the boardroom that makes it - not Suralan's. Nick and Margaret are far better entertainment because what they say is entirely natural - it is, afterall, they who follow each and every task.
I'd love to see The Apprentice Uncut.
I said this to my son, who's a musician, and he said that his friend was allowed to play a Stradivarius and it IS more difficult! :eek:
Ooh, how patronising and supercilious. I was responding to the poster who said it sounded like "The Apprentice" had employed the same scriptwriter as "The Weakest Link" - implying a direct connection. I am aware that most quips have probably been used before in practically identical guises. It's a hazard of living for several millennia - things do get repeated...
"you're a lightweight - you're fired" and,
"as long as I've got a hole in my ar**e" :eek:
(unf, I can't remember the context of this little pearl but it was in the manner of "I promise you this, my friend", which he seems to have adopted in its place)
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=354618
"...and you're as easy to play as a Bongo Drum"
Bongo Drum? :eek:
The skeleton and Noorul is not far behind. I actually believe that one...
I still laugh a lot about how he deconstructed Lt. Callaghan's disastrous campaign in France...:D
"I sent you out to sell quality British products. I wanted you to take that product and say 'this is what us British produce, this is not mass produced tot!' And what you do, is you go and buy a breeze-block load of bloody cheddar cheese!
"Paul, I sent you on a mission, to sell the best of Britain to France. You spent half the bloody day frying sausages on some stupid contraption that the boy scouts could have made! And worse than that paul, you went out and lost me money! You're a total shambles, you're fired!"
And so fell Lt. Callaghan...:rolleyes::D