When I was a policeman, I got caught short whilst on patrol and snuck into a public convenience. While sat on the throne I a head slowly appeared under the door. Stupid idiot even hung around for me to finish and then nick him:D:D:D
The look on his face when he saw a copper complete with big hat on looking down on him was priceless!
When I was travelling up the east coast of Australia a decade ago, some of the public toilets there are real botch jobs.
A few of them have cubicles with no locks and the doors are the saloon type doors you get in the Wild West bars - and small ones at that.
I washing my hands in the sink once, looking into the mirror, when I saw behind me some guy sat down- the saloon doors obscuring his midriff but clearly visible his trousers round his ankles and face straining away.
Odd position to be put in, but as we'd made eye contact I nodded, and went on my way.
When I was a policeman, I got caught short whilst on patrol and snuck into a public convenience. While sat on the throne I a head slowly appeared under the door. Stupid idiot even hung around for me to finish and then nick him:D:D:D
The look on his face when he saw a copper complete with big hat on looking down on him was priceless!
What's the offence he officially gets done for there?
Never been to the toilet in a pub, restaraunt, at football, in the cinema, at a concert, the theatre, at a shopping centre, in a supermarket, before a race, at a wedding, on a plane, at a train station?
When I was 7 we went to a Burger King, I needed the toilet and noticed that they were out of order. So I decided to go outside to a nearby public toilet. I locked the door behind me and when i'd finished, I noticed that the lock was jammed and couldn't move. I cried and cried and cried until someone noticed me, I told them what happened and they managed to get me out.
My parents, meanwhile, went spare with worry and as I left the toilet I saw my mum yelling at the manager and in floods of tears. I then ran into BK and she gave me a proper telling off for not saying where I was going.
Funnily enough, I walk past the same Burger King and public toilet every day on my way to work.
Never been to the toilet in a pub, restaraunt, at football, in the cinema, at a concert, the theatre, at a shopping centre, in a supermarket, before a race, at a wedding, on a plane, at a train station?
When I was travelling up the east coast of Australia a decade ago, some of the public toilets there are real botch jobs.
A few of them have cubicles with no locks and the doors are the saloon type doors you get in the Wild West bars - and small ones at that.
I washing my hands in the sink once, looking into the mirror, when I saw behind me some guy sat down- the saloon doors obscuring his midriff but clearly visible his trousers round his ankles and face straining away.
Odd position to be put in, but as we'd made eye contact I nodded, and went on my way.
There are some public toilets in New Zealand thst are tourist attraction. I went and visited them. They fab! They are The Hutwasser toilets. Give them a google.
On a train, and I needed a poo.
Went to the toilet, which had an automatic door.
Whilst I was sat there, the door opened - and the toilet faced down the rest of the carriage.
Another passenger had pressed the 'door open' button.
Seeing me sat on the toilet, rather than noting my embarrassment and closing the door, he chose to have a go at me.
"You didn't lock the door!"
"Well I pressed the button, but it obviously didn't lock"
To make matters worse, rather than press the 'close' button, he left the door open and walked away.
I had to semi-stand, with one hand covering my nether regions, and reach across to the other side of the cubicle for the close button. All in view of other passengers.
I then had to follow this up with the walk of shame back to my seat.
Ten years later, and i haven't used a train toilet since.
Another one that comes to mind is the reported story of a chap who went into a McDonalds and went to wash his hands before ordering his meal. The toilet door was locked and when he asked to be let in the staff member said toilets were for customers only and asked to see his food receipt. The chap said he was a customer and wanted to wash his hands before eating and asked the assistant "Don't you wash your hands before you eat"? The assistant wouldn't budge and said the guy should order and collect his food first and then he would let him in the toilet. I don't recall the rest of the details offhand but I think he then demanded to speak to a manager who backed up the staff member and refused to open the toilet and the guy then left,subsequently complaining to head office. But as I said I'm not sure what the eventual outcome was.
i can remember several council run public toilets being turned into art galleries ....... presumably with many "artworks" already there from previous use .......
I remember once on a train in Scotland on holiday I needed a dump badly. I didn't sit on the seat as the bog looked dirty. So I hovered. The train got a bit bumpier as I was nearing the drop and just as I was letting it go the train jolted on a bit of the rail and my poo came flying out and stuck to the toilet wall. I looked back and thought "SHIIIITTT" I wiped my arse quick, washed my hands and left.
There was some people outside waiting and the next one went in and asked if I did that, I said no I only went for a wee and that was already there and said "Yeah I know disgusting eh! but I really needed a wee" lol
Comments
The look on his face when he saw a copper complete with big hat on looking down on him was priceless!
I read Rhapee wrong. I'd rather not have any of those kind of tales.
see above
A few of them have cubicles with no locks and the doors are the saloon type doors you get in the Wild West bars - and small ones at that.
I washing my hands in the sink once, looking into the mirror, when I saw behind me some guy sat down- the saloon doors obscuring his midriff but clearly visible his trousers round his ankles and face straining away.
Odd position to be put in, but as we'd made eye contact I nodded, and went on my way.
What's the offence he officially gets done for there?
Never been to the toilet in a pub, restaraunt, at football, in the cinema, at a concert, the theatre, at a shopping centre, in a supermarket, before a race, at a wedding, on a plane, at a train station?
That's pretty impressive will-power.
When I was 7 we went to a Burger King, I needed the toilet and noticed that they were out of order. So I decided to go outside to a nearby public toilet. I locked the door behind me and when i'd finished, I noticed that the lock was jammed and couldn't move. I cried and cried and cried until someone noticed me, I told them what happened and they managed to get me out.
My parents, meanwhile, went spare with worry and as I left the toilet I saw my mum yelling at the manager and in floods of tears. I then ran into BK and she gave me a proper telling off for not saying where I was going.
Funnily enough, I walk past the same Burger King and public toilet every day on my way to work.
I have good practice
Didn't think about who was about
had 2 guys checking my cock out
I left quickly
Next time call the police.
Definitely
Here I sat broken hearted.....
Spent a penny and only farted....
Anagrams lure ok
On a train, and I needed a poo.
Went to the toilet, which had an automatic door.
Whilst I was sat there, the door opened - and the toilet faced down the rest of the carriage.
Another passenger had pressed the 'door open' button.
Seeing me sat on the toilet, rather than noting my embarrassment and closing the door, he chose to have a go at me.
"You didn't lock the door!"
"Well I pressed the button, but it obviously didn't lock"
To make matters worse, rather than press the 'close' button, he left the door open and walked away.
I had to semi-stand, with one hand covering my nether regions, and reach across to the other side of the cubicle for the close button. All in view of other passengers.
I then had to follow this up with the walk of shame back to my seat.
Ten years later, and i haven't used a train toilet since.
I dread to think what was used as adhesive
There was some people outside waiting and the next one went in and asked if I did that, I said no I only went for a wee and that was already there and said "Yeah I know disgusting eh! but I really needed a wee" lol
I was 13 at the time.