Kellie Maloney's brother on sex change shock: 'I hope we will get Frank back'

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  • JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    I read that article the other day. His brother did not sell his story. He was contacted by the Mirror (because Frank sold HIS story to the Sunday Mirror!).

    Frank was apparently approached by someone from the Mirror telling him they had the story on his sex change and they were going to run it anyway, regardless of if he got involved or not so I can certainly understand him essentially making it "official" and talking to them on the record.

    As far as him not telling his family goes, I can't really blame him. It's not ideal, obviously, but to be scared of their reaction is probably a perfectly natural feeling considering what he was about to do and the fact that they are all quite religious.

    As far as the hormones go, he wouldn't even be close to being considered for a full sex change operation if he hadn't been taking them.

    If, in a years time, it turns out it was all a scam and he comes clean as Frank again, then i'll be only too happy to stand up and admit i was wrong.

    If the opposite turns out to be true and he goes through with the full gender re-assignment surgery, I doubt anyone claiming it's all fake now would admit they were wrong.
  • momoriromomoriro Posts: 2,678
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    If that article is to be believed (Daily Mirror so probably shouldn't be) it would be quite instructive.

    It doesn't sound like Kellie is getting much support or understanding from her family. The comment is all couched in terms of how it is effecting the family and brother. Its all about how she is making them ashamed. He seems to think it makes them look bad. If that really is their attitude then no wonder my heart goes out to Kellie. No wonder she kept the secret under wraps for so many years if she knew the family would be so ashamed of him.

    Also note that the brother says Frank liked women . Kellie has said she isn't homosexual and isn't attracted to men. I find that hard to get my head around so I can understand the brother having difficulty computing someone feeling intrinsically female but still being attracted to women. But I accept it to be a fact that transgender and homosexual are separate matters and being the first does not necessarily mean you are the second. Kellie's brother seems to use it as a criteria to dismiss her feelings.

    The prejudice and intolerance of her family only makes me admire her more the courage it has taken too do as she has done is inspiring.
    As to your second point An thropologist, something else which only increases my admiration of her she will not only be facing life as a female but as a lesbian female.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 59
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    Ramo1234 wrote: »
    I'm beginning to think that none of this transition regarding Kellie is true.

    This is what I am thinking. It sounds as though 'Kellie' just did this at the last moment.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 59
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    How would you expect a Roman Catholic family to react? They are shocked to the core. Never ever has Frank exhibited, over 61 years, any inclination to be female. Rather the opposite; chasing women was their pastime. Frank married twice and has two kids. Neither wife had any idea that he was really a 'woman'. He tried to coerce his devoted second wife to live a lie - to allow him to Transition yet at the same time to cover it up and pretend the marriage was happy. He tried for weeks to persuade her. 'It'll work out fine,' said Frank. She refused. She also said that, had she known he was a 'woman'. she'd never have married him. Despite his staggering selfishness she supports him fully. But they are now divorced. By the way he first decided to transition in 2009. That's when he finally told his wife.

    Why on earth are you blaming his loving family? They haven't disowned him. They're devastated - and worried. They haven't seen him in months. His brother wants Frank back. Can you blame him? They can't believe this is happening!

    I think you ought to educate yourself. :confused: Really generalise about Catholics.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 59
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    Well as it happens I do come from a Roman Catholic family and I know exactly how they would react.

    Their first reaction would be concern for me and sadness that I had spent most of my life not feeling happy in my own skin. Then they would feel guilt that they hadn't realised or that I didn't feel able to share my heartache with them. They would feel a sense of guilt at having let me down and this would be something I would very much want to avoid, possibly to the extent of continuing to hide my feelings indefinitely.

    They would not feel "betrayed". They would not feel that it had brought shame on the family and they would certainly not start cutting up the photos of our lives together. Their only concern would be for my welfare and for what needed to be done so that I found peace with myself in the few remaining years, coupled with regret about all the unfulfilled years that had been wasted.

    That is what unconditional family life is supposed to be about. It is we love you whatever not we love you providing you fit our vision of what you should be. I know it isn't always like that but I am blessed with a wonderful family, sadly not everyone is so lucky.

    I can see the wife's point of view. I don't know that I would actually marry a man who was not comfortable in his own identity. I may still love him/her but marriage - probably not.

    Also the brother seems to think that Kellie is a closet homosexual. So far Kellie says that is not the case.

    Exactly.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 59
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    His brother can't be expected to be knowledgeable about Transgender issues. Many people innocently confuse Transgender with gay. I'm willing to bet that he was called at home, without prior warning, by someone from the Mirror. With Frank's permission (!), and perhaps at his suggestion. The brother 'spoke' to the Sunday Mirror; no coincidence. Hypocritical Frank had told the Mirror that his only worry was that his
    family, 'who had supported him throughout', would be hassled. But they haven't supported him. They could not, because Frank had not visited, nor spoken to, any family member in months. That's why they had no idea he was planning to transition.

    I come from Glasgow. Born a Protestant, I married a Roman Catholic. He and his family went to Mass every week without fail. Our wedding ceremony - the full Mass - was celebrated in a Roman Catholic Oratory. As tolerant and close-knit as they all are, were my husband to suddenly announce that he was about to transition to female, the totally understandable reaction would have been far removed from the one you describe. Were his parents still alive they would be shocked to the core. Taken aback. They'd pray for him and beg him not to go through with it. They'd still love him, of course, but they would not condone his transitioning nor make it easy for him. They would consider his immortal soul to be at risk.

    I don't know your background but I can tell you with confidence that devout Catholics support neither homosexuality nor gender reassignment. Both are seen as abhorrent 'in the sight of God'. In other words, an abomination. Where I come from Catholics, like most other Christians, are taught that God made us who and what we are; that every event in our lives is part of God's plan for the world. Tampering with gender, and surgically altering genitalia for reasons other than deformity or disease, are anathema to the Catholic/Christian Church. My cousin is a Lay Preacher and he is totally opposed to homosexuality and gender reassignment. He regards both as sinful, and ultimately very harmful to the individual and family - but of course continues to love the 'sinner'. Their deeply-held principles would not allow them to encourage transition, nor to turn a blind eye to it.

    Frank's family have no experience of celebrity life. Frank was the high-flyer, hanging out with sporting stars, managing young boxers. His family live ordinary, everyday lives. And Kellie is someone they absololutely do not recognise. That he gave them no warning at all is shameful. To have lied to the Sunday Mirror that his family knew all about his plans and had been supporting him for months is even more shameful.

    His elderly mother is said to be grief-stricken. She just can't take it in. She can't believe that he didn't talk to them in private prior to entering the CBB House. They didn't know about that, either! The brother loves Frank - they all do. That he dearly hopes to 'get him back again' is understandable and touching.

    And devout Presbyterians are even worse babe. Don't know what your point is when Protestants are just as bad.

    We can't even have shops open here on a Sunday without them having a fit.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 847
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    Frostyj wrote: »
    And devout Presbyterians are even worse babe. Don't know what your point is when Protestants are just as bad.

    We can't even have shops open here on a Sunday without them having a fit.

    I was baptised in a Presbyterian Church. And grew up in Glasgow. Was married in London!

    I am not criticising the Church - Catholic or other - I respect religious faith. I am merely stating how MY in-laws, both devout RCs, would surely react to my husband's sudden announcement that he intended to transition to female. I was contrasting this with the rosy picture painted by a previous poster of her family's likely reaction in similar circumstances.

    Kellie's family are Roman Catholics. His old Mum - in her late 80s - is in a state of collapse. She may well fear that Frank will go to Hell as a consequence of his 'sinful' choices!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 10,188
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    I have little interest in the back story.
    Watching the show I see a bewigged exhibitionist who is not nearly as funny or interesting as Grayson Perry.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 847
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    Conehead wrote: »
    I have little interest in the back story.
    Watching the show I see a bewigged exhibitionist who is not nearly as funny or interesting as Grayson Perry.


    LOLOLOL.

    You mean you failed to notice Kellie's overwhelming femininity and womanliness? That you remain unmoved by his glamour and allure?
  • An ThropologistAn Thropologist Posts: 39,844
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    His brother can't be expected to be knowledgeable about Transgender issues. Many people innocently confuse Transgender with gay. I'm willing to bet that he was called at home, without prior warning, by someone from the Mirror. With Frank's permission (!), and perhaps at his suggestion. The brother 'spoke' to the Sunday Mirror; no coincidence. Hypocritical Frank had told the Mirror that his only worry was that his
    family, 'who had supported him throughout', would be hassled. But they haven't supported him. They could not, because Frank had not visited, nor spoken to, any family member in months. That's why they had no idea he was planning to transition.

    I come from Glasgow. Born a Protestant, I married a Roman Catholic. He and his family went to Mass every week without fail. Our wedding ceremony - the full Mass - was celebrated in a Roman Catholic Oratory. As tolerant and close-knit as they all are, were my husband to suddenly announce that he was about to transition to female, the totally understandable reaction would have been far removed from the one you describe. Were his parents still alive they would be shocked to the core. Taken aback. They'd pray for him and beg him not to go through with it. They'd still love him, of course, but they would not condone his transitioning nor make it easy for him. They would consider his immortal soul to be at risk.

    I don't know your background but I can tell you with confidence that devout Catholics support neither homosexuality nor gender reassignment. Both are seen as abhorrent 'in the sight of God'. In other words, an abomination. Where I come from Catholics, like most other Christians, are taught that God made us who and what we are; that every event in our lives is part of God's plan for the world. Tampering with gender, and surgically altering genitalia for reasons other than deformity or disease, are anathema to the Catholic/Christian Church. My cousin is a Lay Preacher and he is totally opposed to homosexuality and gender reassignment. He regards both as sinful, and ultimately very harmful to the individual and family - but of course continues to love the 'sinner'. Their deeply-held principles would not allow them to encourage transition, nor to turn a blind eye to it.

    Frank's family have no experience of celebrity life. Frank was the high-flyer, hanging out with sporting stars, managing young boxers. His family live ordinary, everyday lives. And Kellie is someone they absololutely do not recognise. That he gave them no warning at all is shameful. To have lied to the Sunday Mirror that his family knew all about his plans and had been supporting him for months is even more shameful.

    His elderly mother is said to be grief-stricken. She just can't take it in. She can't believe that he didn't talk to them in private prior to entering the CBB House. They didn't know about that, either! The brother loves Frank - they all do. That he dearly hopes to 'get him back again' is understandable and touching.

    Well personally I would have thought that being unknowledgeable about a subject is a very good reason not to judge.

    As for the rest I can only speak from my own experience. I was fortunate to have grown up being accepted for who I am. I think my parents would have liked me to have made some different choices. I expect they would have loved grandchildren for example. But other than challenging some of my behaviours when young (often by re-presenting the matter back to me to find my own answer) they have accepted I am who I am and have never tried to make me fit their ideal of who they wanted me to be.

    I am supposing that because I have always felt accepted, I find it easy to accept others. In this matter I openly admit I don't have real understanding. Try as I do, I can't put myself in Kellie's shoes. But I can and do accept, Maybe if your formative experience is that of expectation and conforming to the way others want you to be and you feel compelled to supress your own self to be acceptable or to avoid disappointing those you love, you are more prone to develop or express bigoted views. I really don't know.

    I also observe that a bigot is not someone who occasionally uses a word such as queen or the n word, but someone who refuses point blank to accept others as they are and to regard them as equal and valued human beings.

    If, and its a big if, the Daily Mirror report is to be believed my sympathy is with Kellie.

    I guess we just have to agree to differ.
  • BunionsBunions Posts: 14,995
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    How would you expect a Roman Catholic family to react? They are shocked to the core. Never ever has Frank exhibited, over 61 years, any inclination to be female. Rather the opposite; chasing women was their pastime. Frank married twice and has two kids. Neither wife had any idea that he was really a 'woman'. He tried to coerce his devoted second wife to live a lie - to allow him to Transition yet at the same time to cover it up and pretend the marriage was happy. He tried for weeks to persuade her. 'It'll work out fine,' said Frank. She refused. She also said that, had she known he was a 'woman'. she'd never have married him. Despite his staggering selfishness she supports him fully. But they are now divorced. By the way he first decided to transition in 2009. That's when he finally told his wife.

    Why on earth are you blaming his loving family? They haven't disowned him. They're devastated - and worried. They haven't seen him in months. His brother wants Frank back. Can you blame him? They can't believe this is happening!
    What I don't understand is if you know that ^^^ then why do you keep saying this:
    Frank personally sold his story exclusively to the Sunday Mirror, so Mirror Group publications are far more likely than any other to be accurate. Whether or not Frank is being truthful is another matter!

    By the way Kellie did not mention his intention to Transition to any family member. This news has come like a bolt out of the blue. They learned about it in the press, like the rest of us.
    She has obviously, by your own admission, been struggling with this for years now.

    Another thing I don't understand is why you're so shocked that she didn't tell her family, when in the same breath - you're giving us loads of reasons why they'd be intolerant about the choices that she's made.

    I don't get where you're coming from at all.
  • PitmanPitman Posts: 28,495
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    I remember Eugene when he trained Ricky Gervais, and Frank/Kellie just sat there with a cup of tea dreaming of the day she'd have long blonde hair :cool:
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,365
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    ... His old Mum - in her late 80s - is in a state of collapse. She may well fear that Frank will go to Hell as a consequence of his 'sinful' choices!

    If she's watching CBB, she probably thinks he has arrived there already! :o
  • PedroPedro Posts: 9,911
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    LOLOLOL.

    You mean you failed to notice Kellie's overwhelming femininity and womanliness? That you remain unmoved by his glamour and allure?
    Remember Dick Emery? :D:D:D

    You are awful ......... but I like you
  • planetsplanets Posts: 47,784
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    what confuses me is in this clip Frank/Kellie/Kelly says his family was really supportive :confused:
  • rosariofirerosariofire Posts: 343
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    You're not alone, my friend! We are many.

    I said to my partner on the first night of CBB that I wasn't buying the transition and thought it was fake. I then felt bad for saying it.
    Not any more. Each day I become more convinced I'm right.
    Why would you not tell your family? Because it's not like you'll be able to hide it indefinitely, is it?
    The whole thing stinks of a big fat fake, though to what end, I have no idea.
  • JasonJason Posts: 76,557
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    Why would you not tell your family?

    Why do gay people remain in the closet ?
  • planetsplanets Posts: 47,784
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    I said to my partner on the first night of CBB that I wasn't buying the transition and thought it was fake. I then felt bad for saying it.
    Not any more. Each day I become more convinced I'm right.
    Why would you not tell your family? Because it's not like you'll be able to hide it indefinitely, is it?
    The whole thing stinks of a big fat fake, though to what end, I have no idea.

    in the clip i posted above your post Kellie said the family was told and was "very supportive" something is a bit fishy about this.....
  • Rough DiamondRough Diamond Posts: 2,274
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    I cant remember if it was in his VT or in the diaryroom or if he said to Dee that he had the support of all his family behind him,he definitely said it I just dont remember to who:confused:
  • planetsplanets Posts: 47,784
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    I cant remember if it was in his VT or in the diaryroom or if he said to Dee that he had the support of all his family behind him,he definitely said it I just dont remember to who:confused:

    in this clip it is being said to George but i remember it being said to Dee earlier
  • kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,247
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    Frostyj wrote: »
    Exactly.
    Yes, I agree. Not all Catholics would have the same reaction at all (my partner's family are also Catholic and are mostly liberal about these issues (not all but in the main), whether or not anyone else chooses to label them as not being properly Catholic or whatever. That goes for other Catholics I know, as well as having encountered some homophobic CofE types in the past. People aren't monolithic in any demographic and there isn't just one inevitable Catholic response.
  • kimindexkimindex Posts: 68,247
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    planets wrote: »
    in the clip i posted above your post Kellie said the family was told and was "very supportive" something is a bit fishy about this.....
    Perhaps he mean his nuclear family, rather than siblings etc.
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