Is it harsh that I have zero respect for soft fathers?

BoyardBoyard Posts: 5,393
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There's a friend of a friend I see once in a while who's constantly talking about how his 6 year old daughter wraps him around her little finger. He chuckles about how she always controls the TV remote and refers to her as "the princess" *vomits* Once he told me every morning at 6:00am (or earlier) she jumps up and down on him and wakes him to get him up!! Ridiculous. When he told me this I just thought "what a pathetic man....." and I think it's inevitable the child will grow up to be a brat with no respect for him either and probably have issues with masculine men.

Of course a spineless father is better than an absent one but I still cringe every time he tells me his stories and how he lets a 6 year old rule the roost.

Good dads, who enforce discipline and never spoil their child are the cornerstone to a well rounded individual. :) I am glad my dad was old school and supported us kids while not making us pussies or brats.
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Comments

  • BZRBZR Posts: 2,197
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    I agree with you, a man at my workplace was telling us how he gave his daughter £200 just for taking her exams and she will get more when the results come in. I wasn't thinking wow what a good dad, I was actually thinking wow what a brat you have, that doesn't understand the value of money.
  • jasvinyljasvinyl Posts: 14,631
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    I would have thought he'd be less likely to tell you the negative aspects of being a father. Discipline and stuff; it's a bit more their own business, and not yours.
  • BoyardBoyard Posts: 5,393
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    BZR wrote: »
    I agree with you, a man at my workplace was telling us how he gave his daughter £200 just for taking her exams and she will get more when the results come in. I wasn't thinking wow what a good dad, I was actually thinking wow what a brat you have, that doesn't understand the value of money.

    :o £200 just for TAKING them?! Craziness. If he hadn't paid her would she not have taken them? Was it a bribe?
  • Ella NutElla Nut Posts: 8,891
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    I have to agree, it does not bode very well for her but clearly both parents are at fault here, although I appreciate you only know the father. They will onlly have themselves to blame if she grows up with an inability to deal with the real world where there are rules and boundaries to face.

    As he is only a "friend of a friend" hopefully you can keep the time you have to listen to his drivel to a minimum.
  • FizixFizix Posts: 16,932
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    To be honest, while I agree with the sentiments that parents (both of them) should not be too soft, your post appears to be wrapped in something quite sour and unpleasant.
  • TakaeTakae Posts: 13,555
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    Not harsh. Your comments simply make you appear judgemental and a slave to gender stereotypes.
  • PuddinPuddin Posts: 439
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    Fizix wrote: »
    To be honest, while I agree with the sentiments that parents (both of them) should not be too soft, your post appears to be wrapped in something quite sour and unpleasant.

    Totally agree with this. A very unpleasant post.
  • Ella NutElla Nut Posts: 8,891
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    BZR wrote: »
    I agree with you, a man at my workplace was telling us how he gave his daughter £200 just for taking her exams and she will get more when the results come in. I wasn't thinking wow what a good dad, I was actually thinking wow what a brat you have, that doesn't understand the value of money.

    I think calling the daughter a brat is perhaps uncalled for - you don't know the daughter presumably? If she is a brat, if she doesn't understand the value of money, then it's certainly not her fault.

    However, to pay your child to sit their exams really is a joke. A reward of reasonable monetary value is alright, if she's done well but you have to earn it first!

    I mean you don't go to a job interview and say "How much do I get for turning up?".
  • gasheadgashead Posts: 13,807
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    Not harsh. Gullible, perhaps. Judgemental, certainly. But not harsh, so you can sleep easy.
  • BoyardBoyard Posts: 5,393
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    Takae wrote: »
    Not harsh. Your comments simply make you appear judgemental and a slave to gender stereotypes.

    Do you think it's good parenting? Yes I judge people but so does everyone if they were honest. You are judging me right now.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,182
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    As much as I disagree with parents letting their children have full reign over the house, I do think there is no one size fits all rule to parenting. Each child is different, each household differs enormously. So what works for one, won't work for another. What if these methods turn out to be the making of this little girl? Are they still "weak" in their parenting, or have they just catered to the child's needs to get the best out of them?
  • widgerwidger Posts: 722
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    Are you a father yourself?

    Parenting is a very difficult area to comment on when you haven't worn the t-shirt.
  • LyceumLyceum Posts: 3,399
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    I think any parent who doesn't teach discipline is making a rod for their own back. Mother or father.
  • scottie2121scottie2121 Posts: 11,284
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    I'm wondering how these 'masculine men' and dads who are 'old school' act as parents.

    Can the OP enlighten us?
  • viertevierte Posts: 4,286
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    A 6 year old waking their parent up at 6am is being a bad parent? Seriously? Seeing as it is bright at 3am and the child probably has no concept of time I really don't see the big deal. Perhaps she wanted breakfast, what else is she supposed to do at 6, sit in her room silently for 3 hours while her parents snore their heads off.
  • BoyardBoyard Posts: 5,393
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    vierte wrote: »
    A 6 year old waking their parent up at 6am is being a bad parent? Seriously? Seeing as it is bright at 3am and the child probably has no concept of time I really don't see the big deal. Perhaps she wanted breakfast, what else is she supposed to do at 6, sit in her room silently for 3 hours while her parents snore their heads off.

    Not "3 hours" but yes, a child needs to learn to amuse themselves. :) They can play with their toys and use their imagination for an hour I'm sure.
    I'm wondering how these 'masculine men' and dads who are 'old school' act as parents.

    Can the OP enlighten us?

    Firm but fair and enforces boundaries. Lovely when you're behaving but no nonsense for disrespect.
  • TakaeTakae Posts: 13,555
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    Boyard wrote: »
    Do you think it's good parenting? Yes I judge people but so does everyone if they were honest. You are judging me right now.

    Good parenting? How do I know? I haven't met his child.

    My dad was very strict with me. Often punished me in a way that would kick-high some eyebrows today. He did it because he knew it was the only method that can work on me as a kid when I was headstrong, stubborn and rather prone to fighting with local kids. He didn't use that type of parenting on my other siblings. He was gentle and patient with one brother, easygoing and trusting with another, tough and firm with another, and so on.

    Clearly, he and our mother adjusted their parenting styles in accordance with each of our personalities. As far as I can see, it worked.
  • TakaeTakae Posts: 13,555
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    sootysoo wrote: »
    As much as I disagree with parents letting their children have full reign over the house, I do think there is no one size fits all rule to parenting. Each child is different, each household differs enormously. So what works for one, won't work for another. What if these methods turn out to be the making of this little girl? Are they still "weak" in their parenting, or have they just catered to the child's needs to get the best out of them?

    Exactly.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,249
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    I don't think you're being harsh. Children need boundaries, and if the parents don't provide any they've failed. There needs to be a balance between nurture and discipline, although those aren't mutually exclusive.
  • Ella NutElla Nut Posts: 8,891
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    widger wrote: »
    Are you a father yourself?

    Parenting is a very difficult area to comment on when you haven't worn the t-shirt.

    There's nothing wrong with drawing on your own childhood experience so I don't agree that it's a "very" difficult area to comment on at all.
  • henrywilliams58henrywilliams58 Posts: 4,963
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    BZR wrote: »
    I agree with you, a man at my workplace was telling us how he gave his daughter £200 just for taking her exams and she will get more when the results come in. I wasn't thinking wow what a good dad, I was actually thinking wow what a brat you have, that doesn't understand the value of money.

    He is a divorced dad I bet playing tug of love.
  • henrywilliams58henrywilliams58 Posts: 4,963
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    widger wrote: »
    Are you a father yourself?

    Parenting is a very difficult area to comment on when you haven't worn the t-shirt.

    All of us are commenting on the World Cup. Few of us have played or managed international football.

    I can't sing. But I know when I hear a rubbish singer.

    It is easy to spot incompetence.
  • BoyardBoyard Posts: 5,393
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    All of us are commenting on the World Cup. Few of us have played or managed international football.

    I can't sing. But I know when I hear a rubbish singer.

    It is easy to spot incompetence.

    Exactly, well said. :)
  • Blondie XBlondie X Posts: 28,662
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    sootysoo wrote: »
    As much as I disagree with parents letting their children have full reign over the house, I do think there is no one size fits all rule to parenting. Each child is different, each household differs enormously. So what works for one, won't work for another. What if these methods turn out to be the making of this little girl? Are they still "weak" in their parenting, or have they just catered to the child's needs to get the best out of them?

    Absolutely. The parents know their child, we don't so I really don't think any of us are in a position to judge :)
  • radcliffe95radcliffe95 Posts: 4,086
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    I don't even know the man but I immediately don't like him or his obnoxious progeny.
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