My counsellor called me lazy - fair enough?
SirMickTravis
Posts: 2,607 Forum Member
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Okay he didn't exactly tell me that I'm lazy, he said 'I put it to you that you're lazy.' I struggled to shake this one off and it did seem rather an unusual thing for a counsellor to say. Maybe he had a point though. Perhaps I make too many excuses for never doing anything and laziness is the issue. Bugged me though.
He did admit that on several occasions he's been close to losing his patience with me. Looking at it from their position, their job is all about seeing people make changes in their life it must be frustrating to have a client who doesn't seem to make much progress.
He did admit that on several occasions he's been close to losing his patience with me. Looking at it from their position, their job is all about seeing people make changes in their life it must be frustrating to have a client who doesn't seem to make much progress.
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I thought they weren't there to tell you what's what and of their opinion but to listen and guide.
Sounds like he knows the ropes.
Unless you are in the Mafia, then I withdraw my previous comments and am quite prepared to kiss your Don's ring
BIB Answered your own question. Why in that case does it bug you? Why should a counsellor waste their valuable time? Do you expect counselling to be an agreement with you deal? Sounds only like you have a good counsellor.
sounds very unprofessional of him to me
why, it sounds like he was doing his job
Why though? Admittedly it depends on the OP's situation.
But I was once told by a therapist that I seem to be drawn to negative situations and it's almost like I 'want' my life to be difficult.
I hated them. I was angry beyond belief. But you know what? They were right. It wasn't a conscious choice but the decisions I was making were indeed usually bad ones. It was only when I realised that, could I actually start making steps to make, you know, better ones!
Maybe the OP is lazy and realising this would help. (I am also chronically lazy, I have to make such an effort to not let myself be!)
Mmmm, yeah, interesting psychological insight, that some seemingly complex mental health issues can maybe be put down to something as prosaic as mere laziness.
My sis-in-law suffers from Agoraphobia and hasn't left the house in yonks, her own mother says she's just a lazy mare, and loves the all attention from the rest of her family.
Wow, how's that attitude working for her? And from her own mother! There's the problem in a nut shell.
Last year I decided to do something as my OCD was getting bad again. Saw a really nice counsellor and she was totally different and made me feel so at ease.
I have a friend who has had the same problems with counsellors, there are some very good and some very bad I'm afraid. A counsellor is not there to tell you you are lazy or anything else, they are there to listen and to help.
Which is why I said it depends on the OP's personal situation. I wasn't aware he had complex mental health issues that could be mistaken for laziness.
To the second bit, as a former agoraphobic myself, that is awful for your sister in law and how incredibly nasty of her mother to say that.
Of course there are. The OP has admitted they are lazy. Do you expect a counsellor to let a client do nothing to improve their own situation, which is why it would have been brought up. What is the point in that? They need to bring any complaint up with the counsellor, don't you think? That may be far more productive.
Life is a struggle, the only way to succeed is to get off your arse and reach up for something better. No matter how hard it might seem.
The worlds seems full of people who just want to drift along, and hope something better falls in their laps.
Most people won't win the lottery, or be a finalist on some talent show. You can either drift along and pick the low hanging fruit, or reach up to the sky......
Some people seemingly just get lucky, though.
I'd say it would be unprofessional for a counselor - who are paid to shut up, sit and listen non-judgmentally.
If it was a psychotherapist or psychologist it'd be a bit different though. They're supposed to ask somewhat loaded questions to get the job done.