I haven't, but I've never felt any sort of sexual attraction, and asexuality is a normal orientation. If I had once felt sexual attraction and it suddenly ceased, I'd start to worry.
I'm asexual too, but I haven't really told anyone because I've only recently come to terms with it. I can't believe people would say such things!! It's so ignorant, and I've got the rest of my life to look forward to those comments I guess >.>
Doesn't everyone have varying sex drives? Some people have high sex drives and some people have low sex drives. On one end of the scale, you get nymphomaniacs, who can't seem to get enough. I assume asexuality is just the other end of the scale, where the sex drive is so low its practically non-existant.
Technnically, I suppose it would be classed as a disorder, as a sex drive is a necessity for the survival of the species. But then any number of mental or physical disorders are - by definition! - disorders, but we don't look down on such people because of it. I have Bipolar disorder, but prefer to think of it as an extreme personality state. Yes, it is outside of the norm - but who wants to be part of the mean average, anyway?
Not having a rampant sex drive is probably a good thing, anyway. If it's not hurting anyone else, I don't really see what the problem is, so long as you are happy with yourself. It's not really anyone else's business to tell you how to live your life.
Sadly there are always going to be people whose whole existence is defined by chasing, getting and having sex and then they judge everyone else according to their own views.
If you are not with the opposite sex 24/7 then you are gay.
If you are just not interested in sex at any given time, it's just because you can't get any.
If you do something nice for someone or buy them a drink then you must be after them as they would never buy anyone a drink unless they were trying to get off with them.
I see and understand...:) Interesting I have learned something new today.:cool:
Does that mean you have to meet other Biromantics like yourself for the relationship to work?
Agree and thanks to the OP for starting this thread.
I'm somewhere in all the terms that have been mentioned so far but will need to read up this weekend as, of all the terms mentioned in this thread, I've only heard of asexual.
BTW. I seem to remember that Cliff Richard has had a long term relationship with a business partner which is well known but never been "splashed" on the Sun.
Leave the man alone!
He seems to be a good guy so why go into an area that he prefers to keep private?
I was really just wondering what people's opinions on this were. I was having a debate the other day with a friend, and she said something along the lines of 'there's no such thing as asexuals, they're just scared'. As an asexual, I did rather take umbrage with that.
For the uninformed, asexuality does not mean being unattracted to either gender; it means a general lack of physical attraction. Some asexuals form romantic (but not sexual) attractions to people - you can be heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic etc - and some never form romantic attractions, being aromantic.
There are lots of grey areas too, for example, demisexuality, whereby you only form sexual attractions after a lengthy emotional connection with a person.
As an asexual, I personally am a bit fed up of the discrimination I suffer from other people. It's a pain in the bum being told that you're just 'waiting to meet the right person'. To me, it's the same as telling a gay person that they're waiting for the right person to make them straight.
I don't know. What do people think? Do people think there should be more education about it?
I must be demisexual as I do feel physical attraction but I have no interest in acting on it without a deep emotional connection. My friends just think I am weird.
People are always saying things like this, but... no.
You know the feeling of just feeling different somehow as kids that gay people sometimes talk about? I can relate. The other girls talked about boys and had crushes. I didn't care and found it boring. Once or twice I actually tried to make myself fancy a celebrity because I thought I ought to have crushes, but it never really felt real.
I first applied the term 'asexual' to myself when I was about thirteen. I was told I was too young to be sure, grudgingly agreed, and let the matter drop for a while, in which I assumed myself to be straight.
Five years later, and it turns out my initial assumption was right.
There probably should be more education on sexuality and attraction in general, and less freaking out over what the next generation is up to.
Definitely. Human sexuality is an incredibly complex thing, and all too often it doesn't fit into the categories that get presented. However, at the moment gay, lesbian and bisexual students aren't catered for, never mind anyone with a more obscure or complex orientation. It's not on.
If you are driven to take umbrage by people's reaction to you, why do you go about telling them?
Haha, I don't mean actual lessons in school. I just mean raising awareness somehow; you hardly ever see asexual characters on TV or in films and it's just not really mentioned, so it's not very well known.
I must be demisexual as I do feel physical attraction but I have no interest in acting on it without a deep emotional connection. My friends just think I am weird.
Haha, I don't mean actual lessons in school. I just mean raising awareness somehow; you hardly ever see asexual characters on TV or in films and it's just not really mentioned, so it's not very well known.
The last thing the world needs is an influx of people jumping on a bandwagon and rushing to identify themselves as "biromantic" "demisexual" or whatever the rest of these labels are. Your sex drive can vary dramatically, as can the gender of who you are attracted to throughout your life (although that is less common). By labelling yourself you are causing yourself more confusion than is necessary, and you could find you have ten different names for your own sexuality throughout your lifetime. Sexuality is fluid and fluxuating.
^ Asexuality isn't about sex drive! Some Asexuals have high sex drives, they just don't want to act on them as they don't feel attraction like sexual people do.
I agree that kids at school should be told about Asexuality when they are told about other sexualities.
The last thing the world needs is an influx of people jumping on a bandwagon and rushing to identify themselves as "biromantic" "demisexual" or whatever the rest of these labels are. Your sex drive can vary dramatically, as can the gender of who you are attracted to throughout your life (although that is less common). By labelling yourself you are causing yourself more confusion than is necessary, and you could find you have ten different names for your own sexuality throughout your lifetime. Sexuality is fluid and fluxuating.
It shouldn't be about labelling; it should just be about the reassurance that what you're feeling is OK and perfectly natural.
Comments
You're thinking of that Claire Balding.
it's also patronising that they assume you just need to meet someone for it to be OK
I haven't, but I've never felt any sort of sexual attraction, and asexuality is a normal orientation. If I had once felt sexual attraction and it suddenly ceased, I'd start to worry.
It depends whether the other person was willing to not have sex, haha.
....or have sex with them!:D
It all sounds very complicated. Sexuality should be a private matter untill an individual decides otherwise.
I think he/she means they wouldn't mind cuddling up to either the same/opposing sex but isn't interested in intercourse
.
Technnically, I suppose it would be classed as a disorder, as a sex drive is a necessity for the survival of the species. But then any number of mental or physical disorders are - by definition! - disorders, but we don't look down on such people because of it. I have Bipolar disorder, but prefer to think of it as an extreme personality state. Yes, it is outside of the norm - but who wants to be part of the mean average, anyway?
Not having a rampant sex drive is probably a good thing, anyway. If it's not hurting anyone else, I don't really see what the problem is, so long as you are happy with yourself. It's not really anyone else's business to tell you how to live your life.
If you are not with the opposite sex 24/7 then you are gay.
If you are just not interested in sex at any given time, it's just because you can't get any.
If you do something nice for someone or buy them a drink then you must be after them as they would never buy anyone a drink unless they were trying to get off with them.
I've heard them all!
There probably should be more education on sexuality and attraction in general, and less freaking out over what the next generation is up to.
Fine once they have learnt the 3 Rs
Agree and thanks to the OP for starting this thread.
I'm somewhere in all the terms that have been mentioned so far but will need to read up this weekend as, of all the terms mentioned in this thread, I've only heard of asexual.
BTW. I seem to remember that Cliff Richard has had a long term relationship with a business partner which is well known but never been "splashed" on the Sun.
Leave the man alone!
He seems to be a good guy so why go into an area that he prefers to keep private?
I must be demisexual as I do feel physical attraction but I have no interest in acting on it without a deep emotional connection. My friends just think I am weird.
Not feeling sexual attraction doesn't stop it from being an issue, trust me.:p
People are always saying things like this, but... no.
You know the feeling of just feeling different somehow as kids that gay people sometimes talk about? I can relate. The other girls talked about boys and had crushes. I didn't care and found it boring. Once or twice I actually tried to make myself fancy a celebrity because I thought I ought to have crushes, but it never really felt real.
I first applied the term 'asexual' to myself when I was about thirteen. I was told I was too young to be sure, grudgingly agreed, and let the matter drop for a while, in which I assumed myself to be straight.
Five years later, and it turns out my initial assumption was right.
Definitely. Human sexuality is an incredibly complex thing, and all too often it doesn't fit into the categories that get presented. However, at the moment gay, lesbian and bisexual students aren't catered for, never mind anyone with a more obscure or complex orientation. It's not on.
Would be the most bioring lessons in the world.
If you are driven to take umbrage by people's reaction to you, why do you go about telling them?
Haha, I don't mean actual lessons in school. I just mean raising awareness somehow; you hardly ever see asexual characters on TV or in films and it's just not really mentioned, so it's not very well known.
Definitely not weird!
It is. Your future's red btw.
The last thing the world needs is an influx of people jumping on a bandwagon and rushing to identify themselves as "biromantic" "demisexual" or whatever the rest of these labels are. Your sex drive can vary dramatically, as can the gender of who you are attracted to throughout your life (although that is less common). By labelling yourself you are causing yourself more confusion than is necessary, and you could find you have ten different names for your own sexuality throughout your lifetime. Sexuality is fluid and fluxuating.
I agree that kids at school should be told about Asexuality when they are told about other sexualities.
It shouldn't be about labelling; it should just be about the reassurance that what you're feeling is OK and perfectly natural.