The "vegetarian option" will always be the one with the least amount of thought gone into it.
Now that is very true.
It was one particular trip to a restaurant that finally made me abandon vegetarianism.
Everyone else's meals arrived first and consisted of huge cuts of perfectly cooked meat or fish in mouth-watering sauces with loads of veg and then mine turned up...a Tesco own brand microwaved vegetarian lasagne flopped out into the middle of a 15" plate.
I fell off the wagon very soon after that.
It was even worse abroad. The French idea of a vegetarian option is something with not much meat in it; a ham pizza for example. On other occasions when I finally got them to omit the meat all together I ended up with such fascinating meals as a bowl of pasta with no sauce or a plate of spinach and a piece of baguette.
When the waiter asks if everything is alright, you never hear somebody say
"Actually no. This food is utter shite. The meat is undercooked. The potatoes are hard. The veg is frozen. The gravy is lumpy, and I wouldn't feed this crap to my dog!"
You do if it was me!
Poor waitress asked that one question a few weeks ago and I ranted for 5 mins, ending with "I'm chinese, this ISN'T chinese and I could sue you for false advertising"
In my defence it was appallingly shite and the restaurant has just closed down last weekend, shame it hadn't closed before we tried it.
You can guarantee Mrs. Bleads will have the most expensive thing on the menu, even when she can't see the prices and then decides she prefers what I'm having.
You can guarantee Mrs. Bleads will have the most expensive thing on the menu, even when she can't see the prices and then decides she prefers what I'm having.
At that point does she reach over and try some of your meal?
When the waiter asks if everything is alright, you never hear somebody say
"Actually no. This food is utter shite. The meat is undercooked. The potatoes are hard. The veg is frozen. The gravy is lumpy, and I wouldn't feed this crap to my dog!"
you havent met my brother. Lives in US where customer is king. He eats everything on the plate, except two peas and a bit of gristle then complains. Every effin time. After the second time he did it, I refused to go out with him again. He always gets the meal free
At that point does she reach over and try some of your meal?
We always try each others anyway but she'll spend the rest of the meal saying " I'm just going to let your order for me from now on" and then completely forgetting next time we go.
It was even worse abroad. The French idea of a vegetarian option is something with not much meat in it; a ham pizza for example. On other occasions when I finally got them to omit the meat all together I ended up with such fascinating meals as a bowl of pasta with no sauce or a plate of spinach and a piece of baguette.
My partner ordered a veggie meal in france (hes not veggie but liked the sound of it) and it was awful!
It was meant to be a spicy three cheese pasta dish but it was just a bowl of tagliatelli with grated cheese on and peppercorns. Ive never seen peppercorns served in that way before. They all fell to the bottom of the dish (probably a good thing!). No wonder people prefer the meat dishes.
Originally Posted by Soundbox
Waiter asking is everything OK
I said to my wife once, "As if they care." She said, "Oh they probably do."
I said "Wait and see what occurs."
Sure enough, the waiter ambled over and said, "Everything okay sir?"
I said, "Well no, my mother hasn't been too well, although she's better now, and my neighbour's dog came in to our house and crapped on the carpet."
"Very well sir, enjoy the rest of your meal," he replied.
I doubt that anything I said registered with him at all.
1) Waiting in the queue at a fast food restaurant. The folk in front have been stood in the same queue as me. I managed to look at the big illuminated menu and decide what to order before I got to the front. Why can't you? WTF is wrong with you? Oh you managed to tweet and FB and blog to half the fricking world that you're in KFMcKing. Yet you still manage to stand there with that dumb expression when you get asked "What are you having?" I really want to know, was the fricking menu invisible until you reached the counter? Were you taken by surprise by the sudden appearance of the serving staff? They should have an express lane for morons where they get whatever the staff decide.
"But I don't like Chicken Royales
"Tough. You're too dumb to decide while your waiting then that's all you deserve. Next!!
2) Motorway services.... There's always a bigger queue at KFC than BK or McD's.
3) Dinner out with the in-Laws. When asked if all is okay with the meal, her dad will say yes. Then after we leave he whines like a bitch.
As others have said really - the loudmouth who thinks everyone in the restaurant needs to hear his dull, witless conversation. Have had a few meals & dates ruined by that special sort of prat. Then the irresponsible & inconsiderate parents who think it's ok to let their kid(s) wander round the restaurant, annoying other diners, usually well past what should be their bedtime too. Also had the couples who don't say a word to each other throughout the whole meal. Remember one where he spent the whole meal texting, while she sat there stony faced. I would rather shoot myself than be in a relationship like that.
One particularly memorable meal had a couple of student types on the table behind us, thinking it was incredibly funny to see which one of them could make an "errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" noise the longest & loudest. On the adjoining table, a man had a nosebleed mid meal. Not his fault obviously, but instead of going to the loo to sort it out, he just shoved a napkin up his nose & carried on eating. A delightful sight for the ex, who was unlucky enough to have him in her eyeline for the course of our meal.
I laugh at the thought of waiting staff adopting the "Is everything OK with...?" persona during intimacy! Clearly I have the mind of a writer for an awful sketch show!
Universal constant: the kids change their minds once the food has been ordered.
One-off: we saw the OH swallow a fly that had landed on his forkful of food, and he was the only one who was unaware. The kids shrieked "aw gross" for about 10 minutes. He wasn't too happy either.
One-off: we saw the OH swallow a fly that had landed on his forkful of food, and he was the only one who was unaware. The kids shrieked "aw gross" for about 10 minutes. He wasn't too happy either.
Rule 1: Plates have only two temperatures: stone cold or surface-of-the-sun hot!
Rule 2: If the steak and two veg on the menu includes words or phrases such as "drizzle", "reclining on a bed of", or "nest", the restaurant has probably put more effort into describing the dish than cooking it!
Rule 3: The food will be served so hot that it won't have cooled down enough to even sample before the waiter asks "Is everything all right"?
Rule 4: If there's an addition to the menu, written on a blackboard hidden amongst the clutter of old fishing nets, plastic lobsters and ships' bells, the waiter will not point it out. You will only notice it on the way out of the restaurant, and wish you'd had that instead.
Rule 5: If you ask for tartar sauce to go with your fish, you will be given one tiny sachet which could barely dress a stickleback.
Rule 1: Plates have only two temperatures: stone cold or surface-of-the-sun hot!
Rule 2: If the steak and two veg on the menu includes words or phrases such as "drizzle", "reclining on a bed of", or "nest", the restaurant has probably put more effort into describing the dish than cooking it!
Rule 3: The food will be served so hot that it won't have cooled down enough to even sample before the waiter asks "Is everything all right"?
Rule 4: If there's an addition to the menu, written on a blackboard hidden amongst the clutter of old fishing nets, plastic lobsters and ships' bells, the waiter will not point it out. You will only notice it on the way out of the restaurant, and wish you'd had that instead.
Rule 5: If you ask for tartar sauce to go with your fish, you will be given one tiny sachet which could barely dress a stickleback.
Comments
What restaurant was that because I don't wanna eat anywhere where they douse the food in Castor oil. :mad:
Now that is very true.
It was one particular trip to a restaurant that finally made me abandon vegetarianism.
Everyone else's meals arrived first and consisted of huge cuts of perfectly cooked meat or fish in mouth-watering sauces with loads of veg and then mine turned up...a Tesco own brand microwaved vegetarian lasagne flopped out into the middle of a 15" plate.
I fell off the wagon very soon after that.
It was even worse abroad. The French idea of a vegetarian option is something with not much meat in it; a ham pizza for example. On other occasions when I finally got them to omit the meat all together I ended up with such fascinating meals as a bowl of pasta with no sauce or a plate of spinach and a piece of baguette.
You do if it was me!
Poor waitress asked that one question a few weeks ago and I ranted for 5 mins, ending with "I'm chinese, this ISN'T chinese and I could sue you for false advertising"
In my defence it was appallingly shite and the restaurant has just closed down last weekend, shame it hadn't closed before we tried it.
At that point does she reach over and try some of your meal?
you havent met my brother. Lives in US where customer is king. He eats everything on the plate, except two peas and a bit of gristle then complains. Every effin time. After the second time he did it, I refused to go out with him again. He always gets the meal free
We always try each others anyway but she'll spend the rest of the meal saying " I'm just going to let your order for me from now on" and then completely forgetting next time we go.
One of my mates paid a bill and left, only to realise he'd paid the wrong bill!! Bit of a win it was cheaper.
My partner ordered a veggie meal in france (hes not veggie but liked the sound of it) and it was awful!
It was meant to be a spicy three cheese pasta dish but it was just a bowl of tagliatelli with grated cheese on and peppercorns. Ive never seen peppercorns served in that way before. They all fell to the bottom of the dish (probably a good thing!). No wonder people prefer the meat dishes.
Waiter asking is everything OK
I said to my wife once, "As if they care." She said, "Oh they probably do."
I said "Wait and see what occurs."
Sure enough, the waiter ambled over and said, "Everything okay sir?"
I said, "Well no, my mother hasn't been too well, although she's better now, and my neighbour's dog came in to our house and crapped on the carpet."
"Very well sir, enjoy the rest of your meal," he replied.
I doubt that anything I said registered with him at all.
1) Waiting in the queue at a fast food restaurant. The folk in front have been stood in the same queue as me. I managed to look at the big illuminated menu and decide what to order before I got to the front. Why can't you? WTF is wrong with you? Oh you managed to tweet and FB and blog to half the fricking world that you're in KFMcKing. Yet you still manage to stand there with that dumb expression when you get asked "What are you having?" I really want to know, was the fricking menu invisible until you reached the counter? Were you taken by surprise by the sudden appearance of the serving staff? They should have an express lane for morons where they get whatever the staff decide.
"Tough. You're too dumb to decide while your waiting then that's all you deserve. Next!!
2) Motorway services.... There's always a bigger queue at KFC than BK or McD's.
3) Dinner out with the in-Laws. When asked if all is okay with the meal, her dad will say yes. Then after we leave he whines like a bitch.
Why are Wetherspoons always so dark inside and how do they fit so much writing onto a single piece of card??!!
Splitting the bill is just a farce. Especially when someone has been drinking like they have just discovered alcohol.
One particularly memorable meal had a couple of student types on the table behind us, thinking it was incredibly funny to see which one of them could make an "errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" noise the longest & loudest. On the adjoining table, a man had a nosebleed mid meal. Not his fault obviously, but instead of going to the loo to sort it out, he just shoved a napkin up his nose & carried on eating. A delightful sight for the ex, who was unlucky enough to have him in her eyeline for the course of our meal.
Is that so?
Was it Poochie?
One-off: we saw the OH swallow a fly that had landed on his forkful of food, and he was the only one who was unaware. The kids shrieked "aw gross" for about 10 minutes. He wasn't too happy either.
He must be pretty stupid then, how can you not realise the bill is double?
Rule 2: If the steak and two veg on the menu includes words or phrases such as "drizzle", "reclining on a bed of", or "nest", the restaurant has probably put more effort into describing the dish than cooking it!
Rule 3: The food will be served so hot that it won't have cooled down enough to even sample before the waiter asks "Is everything all right"?
Rule 4: If there's an addition to the menu, written on a blackboard hidden amongst the clutter of old fishing nets, plastic lobsters and ships' bells, the waiter will not point it out. You will only notice it on the way out of the restaurant, and wish you'd had that instead.
Rule 5: If you ask for tartar sauce to go with your fish, you will be given one tiny sachet which could barely dress a stickleback.
Sounds like you need to go to better restaurants.
The same comment could probably be applied to the majority of posts on this thread, but I don't think that's quite the point!