Kate may be in labour

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  • Phoenix LazarusPhoenix Lazarus Posts: 17,305
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    For baby's come but once a year

    Well, that's world over-population licked if it's per nation or world. If It's per woman, we're swamped!
    And baby Windsor we send you hot hot love.

    The Donna Summer version or Kelly Marie's?
  • Azura's StarAzura's Star Posts: 3,190
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    A poem i writ for the new royal baby

    The week we wait with breaths abated
    And around the hospital we congregated
    For there's to be a exciting event
    A royal baby is heaven sent
    A boy a girl it matters not
    It'll gurgle and giggle in its cot
    Let's celebrate with flags a waving and a flying
    And remind each other that the royals are not a dying.
    Margaret Elizabeth Mary Jo -
    Who cares what's she called as long as she's no ho
    For the chimes of the clock whispereth away
    And we wait and we pray on this truly amazing day
    It's a he! It's a she! crieth that nurse
    It's so small it could fit in her purse
    And as it grows to be a royal
    So we must cherish it on our saintly soil
    For baby's come but once a year
    And today's the day -don't shed no tear!
    It'll be wrapped up like a baby dove
    And baby Windsor we send you hot hot love.

    Now I'm no fan of the Royals, but that seems a bit harsh.

    And I'm keeping my hot, hot love for someone altogether more deserving if it's all the same to you.
  • Phoenix LazarusPhoenix Lazarus Posts: 17,305
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    Who cares what's she called as long as she's no ho

    They're going to call her Izzy?
  • DaughterqueenDaughterqueen Posts: 143
    Forum Member
    Now I'm no fan of the Royals, but that seems a bit harsh.

    And I'm keeping my hot, hot love for someone altogether more deserving if it's all the same to you.

    Eh? You're not celebrating?
  • Mommie DearestMommie Dearest Posts: 412
    Forum Member
    Disgusting. Jealousy is not becoming. You think you could write better then? I spent days composing that. Not nice my friend not nice.

    It's not jealousy my dear, it's honest criticism.
  • DaughterqueenDaughterqueen Posts: 143
    Forum Member
    It's not jealousy my dear, it's honest criticism.

    Let's see you do better then mr William Shakespeare's.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,510
    Forum Member
    Let's see you do better then mr William Shakespeare's.

    Oh Dear :D:D
  • Azura's StarAzura's Star Posts: 3,190
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    Eh? You're not celebrating?

    Celebrating what exactly?
    Your execrable "poetry" or some woman having a baby/
    No and hell no.
  • Phoenix LazarusPhoenix Lazarus Posts: 17,305
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    Who cares what's she called as long as she's no ho

    Oh she won't be. If she's a yobbess or ****, it'll be with a posh accent.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 7,363
    Forum Member
    Let's see you do better then mr William Shakespeare's.
    The poem was a nice thought but why does everyone seem to think the baby is a girl?
  • dirty dingusdirty dingus Posts: 2,037
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    Kate is going to push a wean out
    With bunting and flags we'll all shout
    3 cheers for her minge
    on cheap cider we'll binge
    And we'll be paying for this privilege there's no doubt.
  • Azura's StarAzura's Star Posts: 3,190
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    Kate is going to push a wean out
    With bunting and flags we'll all shout
    3 cheers for her minge
    on cheap cider we'll binge
    And we'll be paying for this privilege there's no doubt.

    Now THIS is what I call poetry.
    *wipes away a tear*;)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,481
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    So the paps have been stationed outside the hospital for a fortnight...

    Kate is rumoured to be with her family in Berkshire...

    What if she doesn't make it to the hospital in time and she gives birth on the M4 hard shoulder... it has been known...

    :D
  • Phoenix LazarusPhoenix Lazarus Posts: 17,305
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    What if it's twins, or even triplets?
  • AlbacomAlbacom Posts: 34,578
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    So the paps have been stationed outside the hospital for a fortnight...

    Kate is rumoured to be with her family in Berkshire...

    What if she doesn't make it to the hospital in time and she gives birth on the M4 hard shoulder... it has been known...

    :D

    If she goes into Labour why can't she go to the Royal Berks Hospital like the rest of us have to?
  • AlbacomAlbacom Posts: 34,578
    Forum Member
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    A poem i writ for the new royal baby

    The week we wait with breaths abated
    And around the hospital we congregated
    For there's to be a exciting event
    A royal baby is heaven sent
    A boy a girl it matters not
    It'll gurgle and giggle in its cot
    Let's celebrate with flags a waving and a flying
    And remind each other that the royals are not a dying.
    Margaret Elizabeth Mary Jo -
    Who cares what's she called as long as she's no ho
    For the chimes of the clock whispereth away
    And we wait and we pray on this truly amazing day
    It's a he! It's a she! crieth that nurse
    It's so small it could fit in her purse
    And as it grows to be a royal
    So we must cherish it on our saintly soil
    For baby's come but once a year
    And today's the day -don't shed no tear!
    It'll be wrapped up like a baby dove
    And baby Windsor we send you hot hot love.

    Sorry. That is the worst poem I have read in my life.
  • AlbacomAlbacom Posts: 34,578
    Forum Member
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    Here's my Royal Baby Poem:

    Is it a diamond?
    Is it a pearl?
    No, it's a boy or it might be a girl!
    The news teams are dehydrated,
    they really need a drink,
    For this event to be celebrated
    Is going to the brink!
    Yep, the brink of desperation, the waiting is a bore
    But the news will be tiresome, it'll last forevermore.
    For God's sake woman, Hurry up!,
    It really is too hot!
    To even give a monkey's
    About your Royal tot!
    The TV will be off, until the news' dispersed
    And all those tedious speeches
    the TV crews rehearsed
    Are gone and all forgotten,
    for Philip is back in need
    Of some more hospital treatment,
    he's a whithering seed.
    Then the cycle starts again,
    cameras at the ready.
    Bustling news teams, a weedy bloke
    holding mics steady!
    Reports on the hour,
    the usual talking head,
    Secretly hoping they're the first
    To announce to the world he's dead!

    So, hurry up Kate, for goodness sake. You look like a bloated frog,
    Hurry up and let them report that you've had your tiresome sprog!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,481
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    What if it's twins, or even triplets?

    (A) She'd have a bigger bump :eek:

    (B) Multiples come early... and usually by Caesar... :p
  • Phoenix LazarusPhoenix Lazarus Posts: 17,305
    Forum Member
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    (A) She'd have a bigger bump :eek:

    (B) Multiples come early... and usually by Caesar... :p

    I was thinking of the implications for the regal role in future. If there was more than one, and say that the first-born becomes the heir, then how much a role does the other one (or more, if the case) get to perform? That's uncharted waters, as of yet.
  • dodradedodrade Posts: 23,679
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    I was thinking of the implications for the regal role in future. If there was more than one, and say that the first-born becomes the heir, then how much a role does the other one (or more, if the case) get to perform? That's uncharted waters, as of yet.

    Having twins would be of no legal consequence, the first born is the heir, whether the second born comes two minutes or two years later makes no difference.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,043
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    Who Cares!
  • NaughtyNanNaughtyNan Posts: 9,445
    Forum Member
    It must be so hard to have best doctors and the best money can buy at hand for the birth of her baby. :cry:
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 572
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    NaughtyNan wrote: »
    It must be so hard to have best doctors and the best money can buy at hand for the birth of her baby. :cry:

    Things could still go wrong, she might still feel pain and fear, etc.

    People are so callous sometimes. Fair enough to dislike the royals but is there a need to be so cold and even cruel?
  • pinkwaferpinkwafer Posts: 932
    Forum Member
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    Do you think if they called it Tyler or Chelsea, Katie Hopkins would refuse to let her kids play with them?
  • HotgossipHotgossip Posts: 22,385
    Forum Member
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    wizzywick wrote: »
    Here's my Royal Baby Poem:

    Is it a diamond?
    Is it a pearl?
    No, it's a boy or it might be a girl!
    The news teams are dehydrated,
    they really need a drink,
    For this event to be celebrated
    Is going to the brink!
    Yep, the brink of desperation, the waiting is a bore
    But the news will be tiresome, it'll last forevermore.
    For God's sake woman, Hurry up!,
    It really is too hot!
    To even give a monkey's
    About your Royal tot!
    The TV will be off, until the news' dispersed
    And all those tedious speeches
    the TV crews rehearsed
    Are gone and all forgotten,
    for Philip is back in need
    Of some more hospital treatment,
    he's a whithering seed.
    Then the cycle starts again,
    cameras at the ready.
    Bustling news teams, a weedy bloke
    holding mics steady!
    Reports on the hour,
    the usual talking head,
    Secretly hoping they're the first
    To announce to the world he's dead!

    So, hurry up Kate, for goodness sake. You look like a bloated frog,
    Hurry up and let them report that you've had your tiresome sprog!

    Poetry in motion!:D:D
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