I can understand people not loving their parents if their vile people but the love for your own child should be unconditional. If my kids did something awfull I'd feel responsible for what they did, it would be unfair to wash my hands of them when I was the one who'd failed them.
My daughter has very recently cut off contact with her father. Her choice. I never prevented him from seeing her. I knew that as soon as she was old enough to judge, she would realise what a goddamned asshole he is. She just turned 15 and now realises what a mindsuck him and his wife are.
It's often said that a parent loves their child unconditionally, but is the reverse true? Coleen Nolan says that she loved her dad, even though she knows that he sexually abused her sister. If my dad had abused my sister, then I would want to kill him. I certainly couldn't love him.
I didn't have a lot of contact with my dad when I was growing up. I used to hate him because of how he treated my mum and us, but now I feel pretty indifferent about him. He's dead, so there's no point hating him any more anyway. As a child, I think you should expect your parents to be there for you, even if they mess up a lot along the way. The love for a parent shouldn't be unconditional IMO.
I think in matters such as these you can only ever speak for yourself, and not say what other people should or shouldn't feel. Something so deeply personal is up for the individual to define.
Personally, the love i have for my family members *is* unconditional, it wouldn't matter what they did, i'd still love them (that's not to say that i would like them), but that's an opinion formed because of my family environment. I can completely understand why others may feel differently.
One thing i dislike is absolutist statements that people make in regards to emotions ('you HAVE to feel this...'), because life isn't neat, it can't be summed up like that, and invariably those that feel differently to the accepted norm are made to feel abnormal or ashamed, often to their detriment and that of others (i'm thinking in terms of parenthood here, the myths that surround it).
Seems strange to me how people can talk about love of family members and commiting awful acts against family members at the same time.
To me, if a parent truly loved a child, then acts of abuse against that child should be impossible. Committing an act of abuse surely means that any love they said they felt was a lie.
And the reverse is true as well.
Warped idea/sense of what love is if it includes physical/mental abuse in my opinion.
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Then, in that case, neither should a parent be expected to display unconditional love for their child. It works both ways in my opinion.
I think in matters such as these you can only ever speak for yourself, and not say what other people should or shouldn't feel. Something so deeply personal is up for the individual to define.
Personally, the love i have for my family members *is* unconditional, it wouldn't matter what they did, i'd still love them (that's not to say that i would like them), but that's an opinion formed because of my family environment. I can completely understand why others may feel differently.
One thing i dislike is absolutist statements that people make in regards to emotions ('you HAVE to feel this...'), because life isn't neat, it can't be summed up like that, and invariably those that feel differently to the accepted norm are made to feel abnormal or ashamed, often to their detriment and that of others (i'm thinking in terms of parenthood here, the myths that surround it).
To me, if a parent truly loved a child, then acts of abuse against that child should be impossible. Committing an act of abuse surely means that any love they said they felt was a lie.
And the reverse is true as well.
Warped idea/sense of what love is if it includes physical/mental abuse in my opinion.