Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 10)

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  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    I'm depressed now, if everyone in the world had the same BMI as me, it would add 47,823,319 tonnes to the total weight of the world's population :cry:

    I'm a philthy Chawner. Pass me a carrot stick.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    I'm depressed now, if everyone in the world had the same BMI as me, it would add 47,823,319 tonnes to the total weight of the world's population :cry:

    I'm a philthy Chawner. Pass me a carrot stick.

    Can anyone remember the Chunks individual weights - would be interesting to see where they land on the scale, so to speak:eek:
  • lozengerlozenger Posts: 4,881
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    LilAud wrote: »
    Can anyone remember the Chunks individual weights - would be interesting to see where they land on the scale, so to speak:eek:

    I think Emma's around 19stone, Sam was 23 I can't remember Phil n Aud, but Sam was the heaviest before she lost the most (and then put it all back on)
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 22,198
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    :( Humph! I am like someone from Kuwait and in the top 15% of obese people in the UK. I weigh roughly 11 stones less than Sam. I think the Chunks are off the scale.

    I'm now going to have a sausage sarnie to console myself. :cry: Comfort eating!
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    lozenger wrote: »
    I think Emma's around 19stone, Sam was 23 I can't remember Phil n Aud, but Sam was the heaviest before she lost the most (and then put it all back on)

    Realised I need the heights as well. I remember that Aud was5 ft, but can't remember the others
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 22,198
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    LilAud wrote: »
    Realised I need the heights as well. I remember that Aud was5 ft, but can't remember the others

    Hehe. This is really bitchy but I remembered Emma's starting weight and height.

    National
    Above average
    You have a higher BMI than 100% of females aged 15-29 in your country

    Global
    Above average
    You have a higher BMI than 100% of females aged 15-29 in the world

    :) Now I feel better.
  • kiviraatkiviraat Posts: 4,634
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    You have a higher BMI than 97% of females aged 15-29 in your country

    You have a higher BMI than 99% of females aged 15-29 in the world


    Well, that's a kick in the teeth :o:cry: Apparently I'm most like someone from Micronesia. As long as I'm not like 4 residents of Great Harwood I don't care! :D
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    I am average for Sweden.:eek: Are Swedish people fat? I don't have blonde hair. I don't know the words to Mamma Mia.:cry:

    At least I'm not average for Great Harwood.
  • Beautiful_HarvBeautiful_Harv Posts: 9,144
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    Im most like someone from Bhutan. I dont even know where that is.
  • tenorladytenorlady Posts: 1,976
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    A Song For Emma:)

    I dare anyone to watch the video and not spend the rest of the day singing "wide load, over-sized load" :D:D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 22,198
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    tenorlady wrote: »
    A Song For Emma:)

    I dare anyone to watch the video and not spend the rest of the day singing "wide load, over-sized load" :D:D

    :D:D As I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight due to crashing out and snoring from about 4pm -9pm, I'm going to have that damned tune reverberating round my brain all the time. But how very appropriate.
  • AwesomeGeorgeAwesomeGeorge Posts: 456
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    Hot off Philth's facebook page, for your entertainment this fine sunny Sunday. It's the update about Aud's "cancer" which we all know she hasn't got and never has.:mad:


    Hi I am sorry for the delay and we have all been for the delay and we have all been worried Audrey has been very quiet not saying very much she said the cancer has gone but we do not believe in what she is saying has the hospital said she has 8 small white tissues that has to come out and the hospital said they are going to take them out without an operation but if they can’t Audrey has got to have a operation Audrey has got to go back in two weeks also the blood results has come back that her liver is not good and her cloistral is very high so we are worried about it so thank you all so much for asking and your support it means a lot to us we love you all you take care and have a good weekend and I will let you know how things go love Phil and family xxxx


    Apart from the fantastically funny cloistral for cholesterol, that bit of writing is almost textbook pseudologia fantastica in action.:eek: Any psychologists around?
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    And he is kicking off about the x magistrate again!!
  • AwesomeGeorgeAwesomeGeorge Posts: 456
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    LilAud wrote: »
    And he is kicking off about the x magistrate again!!
    We went out yesterday and has we went out the police officer that give us them fines for something we did not done he came out of the magistrate house has we was going out so we think she is up to something again we are going to report this because we are not putting up with this and the lies she is making up that same police officer was knocking at our door two weeks ago we did not let him in has he is not welcome in our house so we rang the police the next day to see what they wanted and they said they have no record of them coming up here so what are they playing at these allegations has got to stop it is making us ill

    We have got to pay £510.00 pounds for swearing at her in the street but we did not do it how she sat in the court and lied about it and taking the police officer in her car to the court and it was her word against us has there was no proof but they believed her has we think because she is a x magistrate

    We just can’t believe she has lied we wander how many more people she has put down in court that is not true our solicitor was a trainee and her solicitor stopped our solicitor cross examining her and the jug agreed with him it like our solicitor was put in a corner and could not say nothing

    This little lot you mean?:D

    I do hope someone has taken a screenshot of that and informed the local press. He's breaching his 'straining order' all over again. How long before he posts the link to the lady's facebook page once more?:eek:
  • AlberonAlberon Posts: 482
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    When Phil gets agitated what little spelling ability he does have goes right down the drain. Though it's odd he spelt cholesterol wrong as he usually does better with medical terms.

    So in short, Audrey doesn't have cancer, but she needs a minor medical procedure. Meanwhile blood tests have shown that she has a lot of weight related issues. Sadly, no surprise there.

    Meanwhile, they refused to talk to the policeman who came to their door. Did they just shout 'go away' through the letterbox or did they all hide and pretend to be out when the policeman knocked (looking into the internet stalking allegation, perhaps). I doubt the Chawners could keep quiet while he was there and he could probably hear Emma giggling. Thinking about it the policeman must have said something because it was about then that Phil managed almost three days of silence on Facebook. Something of an achievement for him.

    I'll be very interested to see how reporting the police officer is going to go. So now the grand conspiracy against the Chawners goes from an x-magistrate (who Phil has just libelled again by saying she is corrupt), to the judiciary and now onto the police force. All jealous of the Chawners fame.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    This little lot you mean?:D

    I do hope someone has taken a screenshot of that and informed the local press. He's breaching his 'straining order' all over again. How long before he posts the link to the lady's facebook page once more?:eek:

    I hope so too!!
  • AwesomeGeorgeAwesomeGeorge Posts: 456
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    He still won't shut up. :eek:This is his latest.

    Yes lives opposite and she has taken a straining order against us last year she watched eggs and stones at our windows and the police has done nothing and we are the ones that get a fine call the justice we don’t the court said she was under stress it supposed to of happened on the 25th of Jan she went on holiday the 26th of Jan to Benidorm that don’t seem anyone stressed to me

    Some of his facebook friends are advising him to stop talking about it in public, but he just doesn't seem to have any common sense whatsoever.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    He still won't shut up. :eek:This is his latest.




    Some of his facebook friends are advising him to stop talking about it in public, but he just doesn't seem to have any common sense whatsoever.

    Posts seem to have disappeared?
  • AwesomeGeorgeAwesomeGeorge Posts: 456
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    LilAud wrote: »
    Posts seem to have disappeared?
    I think he must have realised that telling all his facebook friends that the judicial system and the police force are corrupt, is probably not very sensible, and he has deleted the comments. Unfortunately for him, there are screenshots;)

    Some people post before they think - never write anything online because you can't take it back, someone somewhere will have seen it and preserved it.

    Philth genuinely seems to believe the neighbour, the police, the jug and everyone else involved in the sorry saga, are only behaving badly towards the Chawnz because they are all jealous of their fame. :D
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    'Cloistral'... Lol! :p:p:p

    Oh wow chawnerspelling is fabulous.
  • pinkpowerrangerpinkpowerranger Posts: 933
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    I think he must have realised that telling all his facebook friends that the judicial system and the police force are corrupt, is probably not very sensible, and he has deleted the comments. Unfortunately for him, there are screenshots;)

    Some people post before they think - never write anything online because you can't take it back, someone somewhere will have seen it and preserved it.

    Philth genuinely seems to believe the neighbour, the police, the jug and everyone else involved in the sorry saga, are only behaving badly towards the Chawnz because they are all jealous of their fame. :D

    Unfortunately I doubt the screenshots will be able to be used as any kind of evidence as even a codebreaker couldn't work out what Phil is going on about :D
  • AwesomeGeorgeAwesomeGeorge Posts: 456
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    Unfortunately I doubt the screenshots will be able to be used as any kind of evidence as even a codebreaker couldn't work out what Phil is going on about :D
    Very true. He has a unique way of writing that makes my brain spin.

    This morning he is still peddling the nonsense that his wife has breast cancer, an insult to everyone battling this disease. She has a fungal skin infection, related to poor personal hygiene and obesity, not a malignant, potentially life-limiting, condition.

    People who lie about serious illnesses online are disgraceful, getting off on the attention. I wonder if he has heard of Kaycee Nicole Swensen? Or Rebecca "Beccah" Beushausen? Or Emma Bowyer? Funny how the most famous Munchausen by Internet sufferers have all been women - so far.:eek:
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    Unfortunately I doubt the screenshots will be able to be used as any kind of evidence as even a codebreaker couldn't work out what Phil is going on about :D

    Not to worry, we have translators on standby:D
  • wannabegothchavwannabegothchav Posts: 1,690
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    Where exactly are these 8 tissues being removed from?
  • lotty27lotty27 Posts: 17,858
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    How can you mix up a fungal infection with cancer? Are we sure it's only a fungal infection? But then again, how could they remove the '8 tissues' without an op if not? But she'll need an op if it doesn't work :confused: What the hell has Audrey got?

    I had to laugh when Phil said they were worried because she was 'quiet' - I always thought she was so engrossed in the TV that she never spoke much anyway! :D But has the reality started to sink in that without the woman that they love to kick, they will be alot worse off financially?



    And Phil is just the gift that keeps on giving! STILL making slurs against the 'x' magistrate, the policeman AND courts in general and not realising that Twice Green are on a huge wind-up! :D But 'cloistral' has to be the best medical term mix up yet :D
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