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Things not to write in a valentine card
ffawkes
Posts: 4,495 Forum Member
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'You're an even better lay than your sister'
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ffawkes
Posts: 4,495 ffawkes
Posts: 4,495 ffawkes
Posts: 4,495 ffawkes
Posts: 4,495
Comments
Violets are blue
I've heard you're a goer
Cos your mum is one too.
Violets are blue
I have chlamydia
And no so do you*
*I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I do not have chlamydia
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get the **** home you've got dishes to do!
Only to be used for spouses with a sense of humour and probably not a good choice if you've just met them!
Hhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....:D:D:D
A real genuine *lol* there
Violets are blue,
You're nose is too big,
And your bum is huge too.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I divorced my first wife,
I'm divorcing you too.
Lots of love
Jimmy Saville.
Violets are blue,
I'm on the Windolene
Now I've gave up the glue
Roses are Blue
Violets are Red
I blew up your car
So why aren't you dead
Violets are blue
Lets go to bed
And invite the neighbours too
Violets are blue
Though your shoes are quite nice
I f***ing hate you
Is to have you in my bed
Then I'd dispose of your body
But I think I'd keep your head"
or maybe
"My love is like a red, red rose,
My prick would make you bleed"
or
"Be mine this Valentine.
If not please pass this card on to your sister, or your mum if you think she's up for it"
or
"With love from a secret admirer,
PS - I didn't like that bra you put on this morning, you should have chosen the red one, the one you bought two months ago in La Senza that Saturday when you went out with that Shaun who really didn't suit you. Still we won't be seeing him again will we."
and
"Be mine this Valentine.
Please.
I'll pay you."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Loving the cruise
Still hating you.
Violets are blue,
Could you come to the toilet?
I can't flush my poo.
Violets are blue
You've ruined my f***ing life, bitch!
Violets are blue,
I've done a big dump,
Can I smear it on you?.
Violets are blue
I'm a bit desperate
That's why I fancy you.
Violets are blue
I've not seen your tits yet
Do they have a green hue?
And so is the grass
I don't like your face
But you've got a nice arse
Violets are blue
You can play with my balls
And my new snooker cue
For me there's no other,
But never again,
Less off with my mother.
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
Get in the van
Violets are blue
You look cheap like this card
It's from Tesco Value
Violets are blue,
This card contains anthrax,
And a trace of bird flu.