I remember a quote i saw on my facebook
Homer was talking to marge (i think) and said 'Distracted, that's a funny word, i wonder if anyone ever gets tracted' Lol!
This thread is great! Some of my all time favourite quotes are courtesy of Lionel Hutz:
in Marge in Chains
Lionel: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I... uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."
from the same episode:
Judge: The foreman will pass the verdict to the bailiff.
[Hutz hands him something]
Judge: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says guilty. And guilty is spelled wrong.
Hutz: Eep.
Judge: Will the foreman please read the real verdict.
Foreman: We find the defendant guilty.
Judge: Marge Simpson, I sentence you to thirty days in prison.
Bailiff: Next case, The National Council of Churches v. Lionel Hutz.
Hutz: Oh yeah, that thing.
and again Lionel Hutz in Burn's Heir
And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.
Some of my all time favourite quotes are courtesy of Lionel Hutz:
mine too! between him and troy mcclure, Phil Hartman had some of the best lines ever on the simpsons
Hutz: "How about that! I looked something up!
These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!"
Troy Mcclure: "That's right boys, Troy's back from the gutter and he's brought someone with him"
Great quote from the episode with the power plant softball team
Barney: And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!!! [pokes Barney]
Barney: Okay, you asked for it, bud! [punches him out]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! [scoffing] Pitt the Elder...
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!! [punches Moe]
This thread is great! Some of my all time favourite quotes are courtesy of Lionel Hutz:
in Marge in Chains
Lionel: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I... uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."
also from that episode:
Apu: I can recite pi to 40000 places! The last digit is 1
Homer: mmmmm, pie!
"If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. |
Can you imagine a world without lawyers? "
Opposing Counsel: What is your opinion of him? Marge: Hmmm... I'm sorry. My mother always said if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Homer: Will that hold up in court? Hutz: No, I've tried it before.
Hutz: Errrr!! I move for a bad court thingy. Judge: You mean a mistrial? Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and .....I'm ....the law ... talking guy. Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: If I hear "objection" and "sustained" one more time today I think I am going to scream. Attorney: Objection. Judge: Sustained. Hutz: Argh!
Homer: We live in a highly technological age where fighting a war is as simple as turning off a light.[starts clapping]
Marge: We don't have a Clapper.
Homer: [Clapping] Sorry, can't hear you Marge, I'm clapping.
During a discussion about Siamese Twins ;
Lisa "I think they like to be called Conjoined Twins"
Dr. Hibbert : "Yes, and Hillbillies would like to be called Sons Of The Soil, but it ain't gonna happen !"
"Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy."
Another of my favourites is the skinner sketch in 22 short stories about Springfield.
Chalmers: Seymour!
Skinner: Superintendent; I was just, uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm -- steamed clams.
Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers Old family recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh-- ... 'scuse me for one second.
Chalmers: Of course.
Skinner retires to the kitchen for a second. When he walks back into the dining room, we can see that the entire kitchen is in flames.
Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I guess I should be --Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: Oh, erm... No.
Agnes: Seymour! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
Agnes: Help! Help! :D
In Moe's Tavern :
Moe : "Aa there ain't no-one for a Joe Puke-Pail like Moe"
Homer : "Now Moe, I won't hear of it - you're a wonderful catch !"
Moe : "Oh yeah ? Well how come I ain't fighting off Hollywood starlets with a pointy stick ??"
Moe : "Oh, that's probably due to your ugliness!"
Moe and Homer discussing Frank Grimes :
Moe : "Here's what ya do, Homer. Ya invite him to your house for dinner, lull him into a false sense of security, then BAM !! The old fork-in-the-eye !"
Homer : "Do you think it'll work...without the...fork in the eye ?"
Moe : "There's always a first time"
Marge: Call me a killjoy, but if this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.
Does this not sound a bit what so people think in real life. People like Mary Whitehouse,Why do some people think as they do not like something no one should?:mad::mad::mad:
Comments
Homer was talking to marge (i think) and said 'Distracted, that's a funny word, i wonder if anyone ever gets tracted' Lol!
in Marge in Chains
Lionel: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I... uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son."
from the same episode:
Judge: The foreman will pass the verdict to the bailiff.
[Hutz hands him something]
Judge: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says guilty. And guilty is spelled wrong.
Hutz: Eep.
Judge: Will the foreman please read the real verdict.
Foreman: We find the defendant guilty.
Judge: Marge Simpson, I sentence you to thirty days in prison.
Bailiff: Next case, The National Council of Churches v. Lionel Hutz.
Hutz: Oh yeah, that thing.
and again Lionel Hutz in Burn's Heir
And as for your case, don't you worry. I've argued in front of every judge in the state. Often as a lawyer.
mine too! between him and troy mcclure, Phil Hartman had some of the best lines ever on the simpsons
Hutz: "How about that! I looked something up!
These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!"
Troy Mcclure: "That's right boys, Troy's back from the gutter and he's brought someone with him"
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: Yeah!
Barney: And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!
Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!!! [pokes Barney]
Barney: Okay, you asked for it, bud! [punches him out]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! [scoffing] Pitt the Elder...
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!! [punches Moe]
also from that episode:
Apu: I can recite pi to 40000 places! The last digit is 1
Homer: mmmmm, pie!
AKA Miguel Sánchez
AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Falk
Include:
"If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. |
Can you imagine a world without lawyers? "
Opposing Counsel: What is your opinion of him?
Marge: Hmmm... I'm sorry. My mother always said if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.
Homer: Will that hold up in court?
Hutz: No, I've tried it before.
Hutz: Errrr!! I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and .....I'm ....the law ... talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: If I hear "objection" and "sustained" one more time today I think I am going to scream.
Attorney: Objection.
Judge: Sustained.
Hutz: Argh!
Marge: We don't have a Clapper.
Homer: [Clapping] Sorry, can't hear you Marge, I'm clapping.
from the awesome 'Simpson Tide' - Mr. Moe lol
Burns: I specifically said no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom thinks I'm cool
Homer (after getting stuck in a hole inside a cave): "I'm trapped - and I have to pee!.... Now I'm just trapped."
Simple things amuse me.
My quote is from the same episode I think "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story "
Lisa is running away from a pack of dogs.
She gets to some doors.
The doors fling open and Mr Burns is Standing there.
Lisa Screams : Mad Beast
Burns Replies : Liberal Midget (Pointing at Lisa)
Lisa "I think they like to be called Conjoined Twins"
Dr. Hibbert : "Yes, and Hillbillies would like to be called Sons Of The Soil, but it ain't gonna happen !"
Another of my favourites is the skinner sketch in 22 short stories about Springfield.
Chalmers: Seymour!
Skinner: Superintendent; I was just, uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Uh, oh, that isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm -- steamed clams.
Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh, no, I said, "steamed hams." That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes, it's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. What region?
Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.
Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase, "steamed hams."
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no; it's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Oh, no, patented Skinner Burgers Old family recipe.
Chalmers: For steamed hams.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Skinner: Uh ... you know ... one thing I sh-- ... 'scuse me for one second.
Chalmers: Of course.
Skinner retires to the kitchen for a second. When he walks back into the dining room, we can see that the entire kitchen is in flames.
Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. Good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I guess I should be --Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: Oh, erm... No.
Agnes: Seymour! The house is on fire!
Skinner: No, mother. It's just the Northern Lights.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.
Agnes: Help! Help!
My favourite Simpsons scene ever
Homer.. 'super fun happy slide
don't know why that makes me laugh every time I see it
Bart: Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there, Mom.
Homer: [cheery] Push her down, son.
Moe : "Aa there ain't no-one for a Joe Puke-Pail like Moe"
Homer : "Now Moe, I won't hear of it - you're a wonderful catch !"
Moe : "Oh yeah ? Well how come I ain't fighting off Hollywood starlets with a pointy stick ??"
Moe : "Oh, that's probably due to your ugliness!"
Moe : "Here's what ya do, Homer. Ya invite him to your house for dinner, lull him into a false sense of security, then BAM !! The old fork-in-the-eye !"
Homer : "Do you think it'll work...without the...fork in the eye ?"
Moe : "There's always a first time"
As Ennio Morricone-esque music plays, Homer walks through the chilli cook-off. People gasp as he approaches and brandishes a wooden spoon.
Lenny says, with awe, from the side of his mouth:
"They say he carved it himself............ from a bigger spoon."
"
Marge: Call me a killjoy, but if this is not to my taste, no one else should be able to enjoy it.
Does this not sound a bit what so people think in real life. People like Mary Whitehouse,Why do some people think as they do not like something no one should?:mad::mad::mad: