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Worst Facebook status updates

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 301
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    One of my friends has a pet lizard. He has his own page. He posts status' like

    'Am snuggled up on Mummy's knee zzzzz'

    'Just enjoyed playing with Daddy and my new toy'

    I guess he is getting his own back for my soppy postings when my son was a baby, but he is in serious danger of being culled.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 4,012
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    allaboard wrote: »
    anyone who calls another female 'hun' or 'chick'
    Or "Bird" . But maybe thats more of a Cornish thing?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 560
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    Tt88 wrote: »
    Its difficult to know. He lives in la and she always puts pics of his house on fb when shes visiting. Thing is hes only early twenties and lives with his parents. His work is only when two or three bands are touring so i dont think hes as rich as she likes all her friends to think he is.

    So he's a 21 year old local band promoter who lives with his parents?

    Yeh I doubt he's even moderately well off let alone rich.
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    bookaddictbookaddict Posts: 2,806
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    What ever I put on my fb is my choice ! Why people feel the need to go back and tell my parents baffles me ! Note to u all who thinks its anything to do with u MIND YOUR OWN FU**N BUSINESS

    I don't think I would be able to resist replying, "Well stop making it our business by banging on about it then!"
    Just took me about an hour to eat a jacket potato....-__-


    Who actually cares...it got one reply btw

    Quote

    Wow that is some useful information

    Ridiculous status update, but I like the response!
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    Smiley433Smiley433 Posts: 7,901
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    "To all my friends (including me) who are going through some issues right now--Let's start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems; health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too"

    That was three hours ago, not one comment or like so far. And I think actually getting up away from the laptop and phoning someone who needs support may have better results than posting stuff like this.
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    bookaddictbookaddict Posts: 2,806
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    Smiley433 wrote: »
    "To all my friends (including me) who are going through some issues right now--Let's start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems; health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too"

    That was three hours ago, not one comment or like so far. And I think actually getting up away from the laptop and phoning someone who needs support may have better results than posting stuff like this.

    I've seen that one too, and had exactly the same thought. How on earth is putting that as your status going to help someone? If you think someone needs help, pick up the damn phone!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,346
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    I reckon it's only a matter of time before someone on this thread recognises one of their FB statuses being talked about.
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    mrsmoosemrsmoose Posts: 2,090
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    LoopyDog wrote: »
    I reckon it's only a matter of time before someone on this thread recognises one of their FB statuses being talked about.

    I keep thinking that too:rolleyes:
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    RednellRednell Posts: 2,528
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    A friend has a job interview coming up in the next few days, and he's littering fb with updates every 5 bloody minutes, as he's getting frustrated with not being able to get his presentation right. I was nearly at the point of telling him that if he got off fb for a few minutes and actually worked on the document, he might actually get somewhere. :rolleyes:

    Then there's the fitness freak who has little conversation bar the gym, exercise and diet who gets insulted when I wind him up by going 'mmmm chocolate."
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    stud u likestud u like Posts: 42,100
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    Smiley433 wrote: »
    "To all my friends (including me) who are going through some issues right now--Let's start an intention avalanche. We all need positive intentions right now. If I don't see your name, I'll understand. May I ask my friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy, paste, and share this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems; health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too"

    That was three hours ago, not one comment or like so far. And I think actually getting up away from the laptop and phoning someone who needs support may have better results than posting stuff like this.

    I ignore these chain letter things.

    A friend had this one posted yesterday.

    I don't see the point of them.
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    fizzle90fizzle90 Posts: 6,467
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    I have an annoying friend who puts statuses up about her kids ALL the time, usually it's moaning about them being ill but this morning was:

    "Aww proud mummy moment, X has just done a wee in his potty! <3"

    Which I groaned at. Then I just saw the latest instalment and it's even worse:

    "Sorry if anyone is eating but X has now done a poo in his potty too!! Soooo proud <3"

    For gods sake, shut up.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 560
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    fizzle90 wrote: »
    I have an annoying friend who puts statuses up about her kids ALL the time, usually it's moaning about them being ill but this morning was:

    "Aww proud mummy moment, X has just done a wee in his potty! <3"

    Which I groaned at. Then I just saw the latest instalment and it's even worse:

    "Sorry if anyone is eating but X has now done a poo in his potty too!! Soooo proud <3"

    For gods sake, shut up.

    Arguably Facebook's worst offence is giving bored single mothers an outlet for their thoughts.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 3,787
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    "I seem to have lost my mobile phone. Just can't seem to find it anywhere"

    me, <biting the back of my hand> no, I will not reply "Well if you got off FB for just a couple of seconds and actually went and looked for it you might find it you stupid cow.." NO I will not type that...
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    Tt88Tt88 Posts: 6,827
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    Mr.Beaks wrote: »
    Arguably Facebook's worst offence is giving bored single mothers an outlet for their thoughts.

    I had a friend who a year or so ago put a status along the line of...

    my boy just did his first poo at mine!

    Someone replied aww now you have to change your first dirty nappy, welcome to parenthood!

    To which he replied, nah he did it in the back garden.

    After a while his friends twigged he was on about his new dog since he didnt have a baby. He was posting it as a way of showing how annoying the mums were being. He did a couple but the poo in the garden was the best!
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    OhWhenTheSaintsOhWhenTheSaints Posts: 12,531
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    My friend has just posted a status to say her baby's due next July...She's either lying or just sh1te at maths...Possibly both.
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    OhWhenTheSaintsOhWhenTheSaints Posts: 12,531
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    Oooo someone's just questioned it and she's replied "Ooops I meant May sorry"
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    solarflaresolarflare Posts: 22,383
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    Just took me about an hour to eat a jacket potato....-__-


    Who actually cares...it got one reply btw

    :D

    Either it was made of lead, well overcooked or the size of Eamonn Holmes' head.
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    DaisyBumblerootDaisyBumbleroot Posts: 24,763
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    My brother in law,who is a bit of a knob, had been on holiday for two weeks. He came home and posted on facebook 'I'm back, anyone miss me?' which I saw about 12 hours after he posted. Not one 'like' or comment. I laughed :D
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    cutekitty7686cutekitty7686 Posts: 872
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    londonite wrote: »
    his name isnt scott bundy is it?

    Nope , take it there is another one like him out there lol

    The same person also tags and checks in everywhere seems each bloke he dates after a week they are in relationship in love and sod the rest etc then guess what yep new bloke the next week :rolleyes:
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    OhWhenTheSaintsOhWhenTheSaints Posts: 12,531
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    "Got the lads round to watch Lallana tear Ukraine a new one"

    Not a particulerly funny status but I find it funny considering he won't even play.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,119
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    I can't stand people who go on about their healthy lifestyle and hitting the gym all the time . We get it ,stop showing off and shoving it down our throats .

    "Nothing is tastes as good as skinny feels "
    "I don't know anyone can eat greasy food ew gross"
    "Fat people are disgusting should be in prison "

    I wonder why I'm friends with people who write things like this!!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 5,692
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    I can't stand people who go on about their healthy lifestyle and hitting the gym all the time . We get it ,stop showing off and shoving it down our throats .

    "Nothing is tastes as good as skinny feels "
    "I don't know anyone can eat greasy food ew gross"
    "Fat people are disgusting should be in prison "

    I wonder why I'm friends with people who write things like this!!

    Oh dear...
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    far2coolfar2cool Posts: 6,334
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    My friend has just posted a status to say her baby's due next July...She's either lying or just sh1te at maths...Possibly both.
    Oooo someone's just questioned it and she's replied "Ooops I meant May sorry"

    Poor kid :rolleyes: ;)
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    Irishguy123Irishguy123 Posts: 14,652
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    "Got the lads round to watch Lallana tear Ukraine a new one"

    Not a particulerly funny status but I find it funny considering he won't even play.

    You have made so many brilliant contributions to this thread :D But are they all from the same person or do you have the most bizarre friends list ever? :D
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    Irishguy123Irishguy123 Posts: 14,652
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    A woman I used to work with posted a status update the other day which tagged her with her husband and 9 year old son saying "cuddled up watching tv with the hubby and the boy. feeling a bit frisky so gonna have fun with chocolate sauce and the hubby when the boy has gone to bed pmsl"

    I mean....seriously!!!?!? What part of her brain thought it was perfectly acceptable to tag her son into that!??!

    That is just.... I'm aghast.
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