"You're probably wondering why you're here at the Tower of London. Now the Tower of London is a very famous tower, and there's another very famous tower in Blackpool. Blackpool is also famous for its roller coasters. Roller Coaster was a hit for 90s girl group B*Witched, who also sang "Blame It On The Weatherman". Michael Fish is one example of a weatherman. As we all know, fish live in the sea. As do crabs. 'Crabs' is slang for pubic lice, a sexually transmitted infection. Infections are nasty things, and you might need to go and see a Doctor. Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, Doctor Who is a popular science fiction entertainment show currently broadcast on BBC One, which is coincidentally where my show is broadcast. I own a vast business empire, as does Richard Branson. Richard Branson owns a company called Virgin. The Virgin Isles are Islands in the Carribean, where there have also been pirates. Pirates of the Carribean is, of course, an incredibly successful movie franchise starring Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp was in Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Barbers have red and white poles outside their place of work, which are also, as I'm sure you're aware, the colours of the flag of Poland. Poland was once invaded by Germany. Germany were the most recent hosts of the FIFA World Cup, a footballing trophy. A famous example of a football team is Chelsea. Chelsea is, of course, the name of the girlfriend of Prince Harry, but is also the name of Chelsea Clinton, daughter of Hillary and Bill. Bill once had an affair which allegedly involved the insertion of a cigar into an unmentionable place. Cigars are a popular method of smoking. You can also, I'm sure you're aware, smoke haddocks and kippers. And that's what I want you to do this week - run a fish stall in the East End for me."
"You're probably wondering why you're here."
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You’re probably wondering why you’re here at the Swiss Re building….
This is more commonly known as the Gherkin which is a standard ingredient in a BigMac. People either love or hate their Big Mac gherkin, just like they love or hate Marmite. Marmite is a type of traditional French fish stew, and the French are very fussy about their food, which is why in past years I have sent candidates to sell food to a nation that knows more about it than we do.
So that is this week’s task.
Selling snow to Eskimos.
This is more commonly known as the Gherkin which is a standard ingredient in a BigMac. People either love or hate their Big Mac gherkin, just like they love or hate Marmite. Marmite is a type of traditional French fish stew, and the French are very fussy about their food, which is why in past years I have sent candidates to sell food to a nation that knows more about it than we do.
So that is this week’s task.
Selling snow to Eskimos.
lol sorry to go a bit ot but did u hear them taking the p like everyone does here on the way to the meeting
they all said we're going to the hospital we're selling underwear or soemthing lol
they all said we're going to the hospital we're selling underwear or soemthing lol
I live in Spain and really miss the British sense of humour! You would only find this kind of thing on a British site, I swear! thank heavens for my satellite dish and sky view card (otherwise I would miss out on some absolute classic TV)
Haha, I thought of this thread last night when they were on the way to the hospital and everyone was taking the piss about having to perform open heart surgery or something! Love it! 
will they be taken to the Channel Tunnel terminal next week: Channel Tunnel, Shopping Channel... no, alright... I'll leave this to the comedy geniuses out there
Originally Posted by saritabcn:
“will they be taken to the Channel Tunnel terminal next week: Channel Tunnel, Shopping Channel... no, alright... I'll leave this to the comedy geniuses out there”
“will they be taken to the Channel Tunnel terminal next week: Channel Tunnel, Shopping Channel... no, alright... I'll leave this to the comedy geniuses out there”
I like where you are going with this one....
Channel tunnel, channel hopping, hopping channel, shopping channel
Originally Posted by WinterFire:
“You're probably wondering why you've come to the Antarctic. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. Vanilla Ice was a rapper who had a hit with "Ice Ice Baby" with a sampled riff from Queen. The Queen lives in a palace. Palaces are made of stone, and you often find stones on river beds. Beds are places that you sleep, and when you sleep you shut your eyes. You also shut your eyes if a bright light flashes in your eyes. And cameras usually have a flash. Cameras are sometimes used in bird boxes so that people can see birds raising their chicks. Another animal that raises its young is the fox, and foxes are often found in urban environments. The antarctic is one of the less spoiled environments in the world. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. Vanilla Ice was a rapper who had a hit with "Ice Ice Baby" with a sampled riff from Queen. The Queen lives in a palace. Palaces are made of stone, and you often find stones on river beds. Beds are places that you sleep, and when you sleep you shut your eyes. You also shut your eyes if a bright light flashes in your eyes. And cameras usually have a flash. Cameras are sometimes used in bird boxes so that people can see birds raising their chicks. Another animal that raises its young is the fox, and foxes are often found in urban environments. The antarctic is one of the less spoiled environments in the world. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. Vanilla Ice was a rapper who had a hit with "Ice Ice Baby" with a sampled riff from Queen. The Queen lives in a palace. Palaces are made of stone, and you often find stones on river beds. Beds are places that you sleep, and when you sleep you shut your eyes. You also shut your eyes if a bright light flashes in your eyes. And cameras usually have a flash. Cameras are sometimes used in bird boxes so that people can see birds raising their chicks. Another animal that raises its young is the fox, and foxes are often found in urban environments. The antarctic is one of the less spoiled environments in the world. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. ”
“You're probably wondering why you've come to the Antarctic. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. Vanilla Ice was a rapper who had a hit with "Ice Ice Baby" with a sampled riff from Queen. The Queen lives in a palace. Palaces are made of stone, and you often find stones on river beds. Beds are places that you sleep, and when you sleep you shut your eyes. You also shut your eyes if a bright light flashes in your eyes. And cameras usually have a flash. Cameras are sometimes used in bird boxes so that people can see birds raising their chicks. Another animal that raises its young is the fox, and foxes are often found in urban environments. The antarctic is one of the less spoiled environments in the world. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. Vanilla Ice was a rapper who had a hit with "Ice Ice Baby" with a sampled riff from Queen. The Queen lives in a palace. Palaces are made of stone, and you often find stones on river beds. Beds are places that you sleep, and when you sleep you shut your eyes. You also shut your eyes if a bright light flashes in your eyes. And cameras usually have a flash. Cameras are sometimes used in bird boxes so that people can see birds raising their chicks. Another animal that raises its young is the fox, and foxes are often found in urban environments. The antarctic is one of the less spoiled environments in the world. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. Vanilla Ice was a rapper who had a hit with "Ice Ice Baby" with a sampled riff from Queen. The Queen lives in a palace. Palaces are made of stone, and you often find stones on river beds. Beds are places that you sleep, and when you sleep you shut your eyes. You also shut your eyes if a bright light flashes in your eyes. And cameras usually have a flash. Cameras are sometimes used in bird boxes so that people can see birds raising their chicks. Another animal that raises its young is the fox, and foxes are often found in urban environments. The antarctic is one of the less spoiled environments in the world. The Antarctic has a lot of ice. ”
Holy smoke, that is brilliant, I'm nearly ill laughing here! I'd somehow managed to miss this thread before!
Some excellent, excellent posts in here - the one above is brilliant.
I'm no good at thinking up these things, but you guys are really talented!
Hmm - after this week's episode a new style might be needed:
"It ain't rocket science to work out why we're here in the middle of this roundabout in Rush Hour. Obviously, your here to relaunch the career of 80s pop band The Go-Go's. Lorraine and Kate, we know you're both Go-ers, so it's only fair that you both project manage ..."
"It ain't rocket science to work out why we're here in the middle of this roundabout in Rush Hour. Obviously, your here to relaunch the career of 80s pop band The Go-Go's. Lorraine and Kate, we know you're both Go-ers, so it's only fair that you both project manage ..."
Originally Posted by saritabcn:
“but what's the task? (the Antarctic one)”
“but what's the task? (the Antarctic one)”
The last one to leave as Sir Alan repeats himself over and over is fired for being a doormat. The first one to leave is also fired for being impatient/having no sense of humour.
The median leaver is also fired for no particular reason (that's life.)
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