After a few 'meh' episodes, I'm genuinely looking forward to the semi-final of the Apprentice tonight... but I have this
horrible, inexorable suspicion that it's going to be Debra's game. I also have a creeping feeling that Surallun secretly fancies her, which is too horrible even to think about. Imagine the potential children, for God's sake. His looks and her personality. Or her looks and his personality. Either way, that's one scary little ****er running about in the world - and a very good argument in favour of birth control.
Incidentally, check out her attempts to break into glamour modelling. And you thought Linsey Dawn McKenzie was a BOBFOC. Although, to be fair, Debra's more of a BOBFOPCMPIFCOP (Body off Baywatch, Face Of Palely Corrupt Medici Prince In Fifteenth-Century Oil Painting. I mean, credit where it's due - that's a straight ten out of ten for symmetry. And skin. She's just not very pretty for a 21st century woman, that's all.)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Every time Debra Barr smiles, she looks like she's plotting to poison someone.
And the allegation that she's 23 frankly astounds me. She must be using the same anti-ageing cream as that fresh-faced 34 year old Damien McBride.
My thoughts on her foremost rival Kate Walsh - Kate's like the blandly immaculate product of a slightly more enlightened 21st century Stepford. When she moved into the outwardly perfect little suburban town with her husband, she was an outspoken shiny-nosed feminist with messy hair, who liked nothing better than downing five double whiskies at a party, getting into a heated political row with her husband's boss, blurting out the wrong thing to the wrong person - and occasionally displaying flashes of real warmth, compassion and brilliance behind the clever-but-socially-awkward facade.
Now look.
It's Sophie Dalek.
Here is the world's first Amish-friendly drinking game. Down a pint of beer every time you hear Kate saying something witty, controversial, original, aggressive, inappropriate or unexpected.
Don't worry. You should be fine to drive home when the show's over.
Or, indeed, pilot a commercial jet.
Regarding Lorraine - despite myself, and even following the startling multi-millionaire-father revelations, I like Lorraine. I like her devil-may-care eyebrows and her clumsy, abrasive, straightforward decency, and the way she's so often right even though nobody ever listens to her. She's probably quite a lot like Kate used to be, before Kate made the tactical mistake of following her husband to Stepford.
My thoughts on James are that he's likeable, funny, deceptively clever, modest, efficient and an all-round nice guy - which makes me 99% sure that he hasn't got a cat's hope in hell of winning the show.
Regarding Yasmina, I have absolutely no opinion whatsoever. I've never seen her **** anything up. I've never seen her do anything particularly amazing or newsworthy. IMHO, Yasmina is the exact polar opposite of Marmite. You either don't mind her or you couldn't give a **** about her.
Personally, I think it's between fembot Kate and evil cyborg Debra.
Clash of the Krytens.
Let battle commence...
(*This extract is provided in a shameless attempt to Pimp My Blog, which can be found at www.thenewadventuresofjuliette.blogspot.com*)
horrible, inexorable suspicion that it's going to be Debra's game. I also have a creeping feeling that Surallun secretly fancies her, which is too horrible even to think about. Imagine the potential children, for God's sake. His looks and her personality. Or her looks and his personality. Either way, that's one scary little ****er running about in the world - and a very good argument in favour of birth control.
Incidentally, check out her attempts to break into glamour modelling. And you thought Linsey Dawn McKenzie was a BOBFOC. Although, to be fair, Debra's more of a BOBFOPCMPIFCOP (Body off Baywatch, Face Of Palely Corrupt Medici Prince In Fifteenth-Century Oil Painting. I mean, credit where it's due - that's a straight ten out of ten for symmetry. And skin. She's just not very pretty for a 21st century woman, that's all.)
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Every time Debra Barr smiles, she looks like she's plotting to poison someone.
And the allegation that she's 23 frankly astounds me. She must be using the same anti-ageing cream as that fresh-faced 34 year old Damien McBride.
My thoughts on her foremost rival Kate Walsh - Kate's like the blandly immaculate product of a slightly more enlightened 21st century Stepford. When she moved into the outwardly perfect little suburban town with her husband, she was an outspoken shiny-nosed feminist with messy hair, who liked nothing better than downing five double whiskies at a party, getting into a heated political row with her husband's boss, blurting out the wrong thing to the wrong person - and occasionally displaying flashes of real warmth, compassion and brilliance behind the clever-but-socially-awkward facade.
Now look.
It's Sophie Dalek.
Here is the world's first Amish-friendly drinking game. Down a pint of beer every time you hear Kate saying something witty, controversial, original, aggressive, inappropriate or unexpected.
Don't worry. You should be fine to drive home when the show's over.
Or, indeed, pilot a commercial jet.
Regarding Lorraine - despite myself, and even following the startling multi-millionaire-father revelations, I like Lorraine. I like her devil-may-care eyebrows and her clumsy, abrasive, straightforward decency, and the way she's so often right even though nobody ever listens to her. She's probably quite a lot like Kate used to be, before Kate made the tactical mistake of following her husband to Stepford.
My thoughts on James are that he's likeable, funny, deceptively clever, modest, efficient and an all-round nice guy - which makes me 99% sure that he hasn't got a cat's hope in hell of winning the show.
Regarding Yasmina, I have absolutely no opinion whatsoever. I've never seen her **** anything up. I've never seen her do anything particularly amazing or newsworthy. IMHO, Yasmina is the exact polar opposite of Marmite. You either don't mind her or you couldn't give a **** about her.
Personally, I think it's between fembot Kate and evil cyborg Debra.
Clash of the Krytens.
Let battle commence...
(*This extract is provided in a shameless attempt to Pimp My Blog, which can be found at www.thenewadventuresofjuliette.blogspot.com*)
Great post
