After the very useful advice I got regarding my dog and the neighbour cat I thought I'd try you guys again.

Although I know how much it hurts to lose a much loved pet I have never had to have a dog of mine put down. What can I do to help my friend? Tips from anyone who has been through it would be very much appreciated.

Hi there. I am so sorry for your friend. It is a really sad time. The only thing I can suggest is, is that because you are a pet owner too, and know exactly how they will be feeling, let them know it is totally ok to feel really, really sad and never ever to feel that it was "only a dog". To a pet owner, losing a pet is like losing a family member, and it hurts just as much. Just be there for them to grieve and support them as best you can. I know when I had my cat put to sleep, there were the initial calls of support, but after a while they slowed down, people stopped asking me how I was etc, but to me I was still grieving very much, still crying and missing Percy so very much. I began to feel silly to still be crying, after all he wasn't human, but to me he was my life. So all I can say is, be there with the support for as long as your friend needs you to be.

Thinking of your friend.

Nothing you can say or do really.

Your friend will grieve just like all of us would. Just be there for your friend.

Hi. i feel for your friend, we had our dog of 11 years put to sleep a few weeks ago, it was a big shock as up until a day or so before she seemed well! so we were not mentally prepared!

TBO i dont thing there is much you can do, just let her grieve and give her space!

Thanks for the replies. I suppose I'm just worried that I react as I would want people to (as a dog owner too) and wanted to get some different perspectives. I have dealt with the natural deaths of pets, never the process of having to watch the vet do it.

Making sure I remember to keep allowing her to grieve over time is important. I'll do that. We will help her get through this weekend first but I won't leave it there.

I just keep thinking 'why do we put ourselves through this', every time I have lost a dog I say never again, it hurts too much, but I always do.

I hope she will allow her friends to have some kind of funeral with her. It sounds so stupid to people who don't have these kind of relationships with their animals but I think its important to mark the passing. Part of letting go maybe.

Hi, I am so srry about your friend's dog, it is heartbreaking when things like this happen. I've been on both sides ie had a pet put to sleep and also had a couple die at home. Neither is any better I don't think, although I guess actually knowing you are making a final journey is probably the hardest of the two options .

I think just allow your friend to talk it through if they want to. Let them explain what led up to them having to take the decision and what happened when they were there, how they felt etc as it's good to be able to tell someone things like that to offload it sort of.

It's a hard one, but you just being a friend that understands is more than anyone could ask for.

I have posted this before, its not an easy decision, our dachshund was 18 when he went to rainbow bridge. We have his ashes in a wee casket with his picture on it. It will be 2 years this year and i think of him everyday,mum finally got a new wee dachshund 6 weeks ago, but you know its never the same. there isn't really a right or wrong way to deal with it. Hugs.

I'm not meaning to do a 'bump', I just wanted to post a reply thanking you all for your kind thoughts, it has really helped.

I have spent the weekend with my friend and it has been just as you would expect. The waves of grief keep coming over her and we are all so upset for the loss of her truly lovely, gentle dog. She came from the rescue pound and had such a fantastic home, so many holidays to the beach and swims in the river. My friend and her dog were absolutely devoted to each other and she has left behind such a big gap.

When I put up this post I was really dwelling on those hours waiting for the planned death and that was really eating me up. Now that bit is over its the same that I have been through so many times so I hope that I can be some help.

Thanks again xx

I would like to thank you for this thread. I came on here to see if there was any words of advice I could borrow.

My Mum's dog is going to sleep tomorrow lunchtime. He is such a much loved animal and my Mum is devestated.

He is 13 years old and has been in my life since I was 17. I'm sobbing as a type this. Our boy has been there through my darkest moments and through my happiest ones. I can only imagine how Mum feels.....she is devoted to him. He has been sick for many years and the vet says that if it were not for my Mum's loving care, he would've gone 3 years back. My Mum looked after him so well that she kept him alive that bit longer and provided him with a fantastic quality of life.

Tomorrow our little lad will go in my Mum and Dad's beautiful garden, cradled by my Mum and she will be the last thing he sees. I think my Mum is making the best decision. She cares enough about him not to see him suffer anymore.

I'm sorry, I needed to type this, like it will help in some way. I'm so upset and I can't stop crying. My poor Mum.

My heart goes out to you and your mum and all in this situation. My sister lost her12 year old Springer only last month andwas distraught.
She has his ashes in a beautiful container and plans to get a portrait painted from a photograph. This gives (and will give) her a purpose as well as a focus for her memories
I send all of you in similar circumstances my whole hearted support and thoughts. When I look at my 2 my eyes just well up. All my best wishes to you.

Im so sorry about the pets being put to sleep
Just sending hugs

Thanks Dom and Natalie.

I went round this evening with a card and some flowers for my Mum. She is grieving like anyone grieves for a loved one.

His passing was very peaceful, in the garden being cuddled by my Mum - she was the last thing he saw. He went in 3 seconds...Mum said it was like the perfect death.

When I was there I kept thinking he was just in the next room but ofcourse he wasn't. Mum has put a picture in 'his corner' and taken away his bedding and everything because she can't bare to look at them. It's so sad but she knows he is in a better place now

I am so sorry for you and your mums loss ebjeebe. My thoughts are with you. We have all been there and know how painful a loss it is. You mum has done the most kindest and lovingist thing she could have ever done for your dog, true love, which your dog knew.

Thanks I hope she knows that, I keep telling her. It took her a while to make the decision but it was the right one.

xxx

I always say to myself when and if the worst comes to the worst with any animal:

Did I give it a good home?

Did I love and care for the animal?

Did I do my best for the animal?

If the answers to all three are 'YES' - then there is no more anyone can - and could have done. Of course it is always heart breaking when a pet dies or has to be put to sleep...but it is out of it's suffering and they (like humans) go to spirit world of which is back to where they originally came from. Animals won't forget you...and you wont forget them and I have always vowed that when my turn will come...as long as I am with all my animals when I depart - I will be happy.

I love animals over humans and animals have gave me greater joy than anything else and I am saddened when they go and have wished on several ocasions that I wish I could go with them...just to BE with them as I love animals so much.

I really feel for anyone that is on the verge of losing a pet (or has lost one) as they become part of your life and you DO feel lost without them. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind and make the right decision and it does tear you apart inside - been there several times, but deep down we know that if a pet has to be put to sleep - it is ONLY for the right reasons or else no animal lover would do it would they?

I DO feel for anyone that has to make this decision...but most times it is for the very best welfare of the animal at the end of the day.