If your getting your cat from an adoption centre for cats that have been abused/mistreated, I think it will be very lucky to got to a home/owner who seems they will be so loving towards it.

And I'm sure it will win your dad around when it's in a "I want fuss" mode.

I'm in the same(ish) boat. Myself and my partner both want a cat. We both have left cats with our parents when we moved out. Unfortunately, we live in a 2 bed flat with no garden so are waiting out until we get a house.

I think as long as you take main responsibility for the cat and prove that you are willing to do the mucky bits and feeding that you may be pleasently surprised at how you dad behaves with the cat.

There are many of us cat people about who live with men who started out as people who disliked cats. Its not uncommon for people to only have these feelings as they have had little or no experience of living with cats.

You could well find that your dad and cat end up quite attached to each other. I'm the cat nut in this house and my other half went as far as saying he really disliked them, but that was only because when growing up he had only had dogs.

Both cats I have owed in the 12 years I have been with my other half have ended up worshipping him over me, and he's been very attached the the cats too.

he won't admit to being a cat person to this day, yet he is very entertained by macey and he spends ages playing with her and treats her like one of the familly. I hear him talking to her in the morning before I get up and they love playing with and tormenting each other. I seem to be only of use to Macey on the odd occasion about ocne a week when she decides she wants a cuddle and a stroke.

So if you do get one make sure you take responsibility for the cat. Most of the hard work is when they are kittens or new to the house. After that they're pretty easy to look after until they get old and infirm and then they can take a lot of work and attention once again.

You may even find that when you come to leave home your familly want the cat to stay with them and it will be you who is heartbroken as you have to leave without it.

'Tis true - my BF is besotted with our little one but was never a huge fan of his Mum's cats!! However when it comes to all the "hard work" she is mine So I feed her, I clean her litter tray, I took her to be spayed, I am usually the one who has to get in her in () and of course she absolutely adores her Daddy. To be fair she is very loving with both of us but she follows him around like he is some kind of God

Can I just say, I got my cat knowing full well my husband wasn't keen on cats, but my cat is now his cat, it sits with him all night goes to him for fuss, I think it only likes me because I feed him in the morning!

Most cats I've been around always seem to sway more towards male affection the female. Example. My parents female cat wont let anyone pick her up without a struggle and some claw digging!

When I pick her up, she does not fuss at all and sits quite calmly for 5 mins.

It's a cat, they really aren't that hard to look after, my cat does his buisness outside so don't have to worry about that but how hard is it to clean a litter tray anyway, i'm sure Bethaneeny is perfectly capable of that, feeding it and giving it lots of love and affection.

Some of you make it sound like she's planning on having a baby, seriously hamsters are harder work than cats.

As OP has actually asked for advice and gone about the right methods on getting a cat rather than just rush in a get one that to me shows she is responsible enough, plus from her posts I would say the cat would be lucky to get an owner like her.

I hope you get your cat

Cat's are not allowed out until they are spayed at 6 months so if Beth gets a kitten then for a few months it will need a litter tray.... Same goes if she gets an indoor cat!!

Cat's are hard work - shutting them out all day and leaving to their own devices is not IMO how you look after a cat (not insinuating this is how you personally treat cat's but some people do!) they need time, attention, affection and stimulation. Especially if they are a rescue cat!!

This is not taking into consdieration the initial cost... Plus vets fees etc...

I understand people are just giving advice just felt some went a bit over the top saying she shouldn't have a cat, I think she sounds perfectly capable of looking after a cat.

The fact she has contacted the cats protection league and asked for advice on here I think shows they have put the thinking in and understand what it takes to look after a cat, a lot of people just go get a kitten and worry about the rest later. Don't think there's any need to worry over this case.

As for my cat, luckily there's always normally people around for him, so he comes and goes as he pleases in the days and comes in for the night. He's treated more like a baby than a cat, spoilt little bugger.

Looks like it's happening. She came round today
I posted somewhere else, He's mums friend's cat./ She moved house, and the new neighbours don't like cats, so she's rehoming him. He's 3 years old, so not a kitten

I thought you said she had three cats and would find it easier looking after 1? You say the new neighbours dont like cats, yet before you said something completely different. I am confused

Rehoming because the new neighbours don't like cats? What a cat lover she is.

Anyway, if the cat supposedly isn't keen on going out, it won't affect the neighbours, will it? And won't the other 2 cats upset the neighbours then? Why rehome only one?

One minute this woman is saying that cats will ruin everything in your home, then the next minute she's saying that the cat has NEVER scratched a thing?

The mind boggles.

Its not just me then lol I never picked up on the last point you made though (in bold). Another poster said there was something that was disturbing, but she couldnt put her finger on it Maybe this was it?

Possibly, yes. That woman is rehoming that cat for a reason, without a doubt.

What happens when/if the poor cat scratches something, or does somnething else that the OP's parents don't like? Another unwanted and homeless cat and probably a traumatised cat from being shoved from pillar to post.

Unless an person is totally committed to cat ownership, the bad along with the good, then they shouldn't have cats imho. (She says, having just de-tangled kitten from net curtains!)

Unless I've misunderstood, I think they're two different women - the woman who spoke about it ruining everything was from the cat re-homing service, not the OP's mum's friend who's trying to get a new home for her cat.

I think the OP has the right idea - for a start, she's asking for advice instead of just grabbing the first one she can get hold of. As for bringing a cat into a household where someone doesn't like them, I think her dad's just wary rather than having an outright dislike of them. Neither of my parents were mad about cats & my Dad still isn't, but when we got our first as children it was my Dad who had her on his lap more than anyone else, making out he didn't really care she was there but telling us to leave her alone if we tried to take her. Cats know the difference between dislike/hatred masked by a smile & aloofness masking a sneaking love.

OP, cats are hard work & the younger they are the harder it is. A damaged cat is harder to deal with whatever age it is. Any cat coming to live with you will have to get used to a lot of new things - new people, a new home, new surroundings, new ways. Don't be under any illusions about scratching - cats scratch sometimes just because they can, & if it's not furniture it's the nearest available leg or your shoes/boots. Your parents & you need to understand that will be the case, & if they're concerned about this happening, then maybe getting a cat isn't a good idea. That's just the way cats are - a law unto themselves. Having said all that, if your parents are agreeable (& I mean genuinely so, not just giving in to your pleading), then go ahead. It'll take time for you to get used to having a cat too, but as long as you stick to your end of the deal in terms of looking after it I think you'll be fine.

I don't think this woman's cat is for you though. If she has other cats, she'd know the position re her neighbours & if they objected to her cats, the objection would be about all of them not just a particular one. I'd be surprised at any cat owner getting rid of just one of their cats without a better reason than a neighbour's dislike, so I think this woman's not telling the whole story. I'd let her sort her problems with that cat herself instead of passing the buck to your household. If (I suspect it will be more a case of "when") this cat does whatever it's been doing in her home in your home, your parents won't be happy with it & may find that very difficult to live with. It's not fair to the cat or the rest of the family to end up in that position, when they didn't know about those problems when they took the cat in. In addition to possibly having the stress/distress of trying to find it a new home, your parents are also likely to be so annoyed that your chances of ever getting a cat again while you live under their roof will be nil.

Hi Robinsbatman

It was mainly the story behind the cat that I was referring to, the op gave a different background on two occasions and thats what confused me.

OP regarding the cat scratching things, it is a cats instinct and nature to want to scratch. If you have it from a kitten then you stand a better chance of training it to use a scratchpost instead of the furniture. I got my current cat at around 2 and a half and she scratches everything. My sofas and the wall paper have come off the worst and it is very noticable. I have two scratching posts but she choses not to use them. My garden fence, carpets, doors, curtains and table are also scratched. Dont take someone elses word for it that he/she wont scratch the furniture, prepare for the fact that they will scratch anything and everything. If the cat comes to you and does not scratch then thats a bonus. If you get a cat believing they wont scratch then you could be very disapointed and your parents may chose to have him/her rehomed if thier furniture is ruined.

I would be very suspicious of a cat that "never" scratches anything. It is either demented, had it's claws removed which is very cruel both physically and emotionally for the cat or the owner is lying.

Cats scratch hundreds of times a day. They scratch furniture,wallpaper and carpets even with a scratching post.

It was me, and I'm still not convinced. Too many contradictions.

I'd agree about cats scratching - it's what they do. We've had a total of five cats over the years. The first one was a lunatic as a kitten, it climbed the net curtains and ripped them, climbed our legs, tore up the carpet etc. Fortunately that stopped when he was able to get out. Another one ripped the leather sofa to shreds (fortunately it was old!). The other three haven't been too bad, but they still dig their claws into the soft furnishings and pull the threads, even if they do their serious scratching elsewhere. If you have a cat, don't think that you can control its behaviour - you can't, and if you're at all houseproud, a cat isn't a great idea.

I agree that the story about the friend's cat doesn't quite make sense. Beth also seems to be saying that she wants to keep it as an indoor cat - if the cat has been used to going out (even if 'not keen') it would not be right IMO to refuse it access to outside. Keeping an indoor cat is a LOT more work than if you allow it outside - as others have said, all the litter tray work... plus of course it sheds all its fur indoors and is constantly under your feet.

I also wonder what is going to happen to the cat when Beth leaves home. If her father maintains his 'wariness' of cats her parents won't want to keep it, and Beth may well move to somewhere that doesn't allow cats (a lot of rentals won't allow them because of the destruction to furnishings).

I might have misunderstood something but if this cat that OP's mum's friend wants to rehome isn't keen on going out, how come it has upset the neighbours?

We've had 5 cats over the last 20 years (1 of them is 19).

I have to say scratching has never really been a problem.

1 of the girls used to have a go on the corner of the bed and I seem to remember some slight damage to a previous (cotton type) suite. Since we've had leather, they've never bothered with the suite.

They do like to claw at carpets of course. I just covered an old scratch post (sisal rope thingy) which has a large base and a top platorm where they like to sit, with left over carpet. They do all their (indoor) scrtaching there now. This also doubles as their food station. (They tend to scatch the post in anticipation of being fed).

Also, it seems to me that the girls tend to want to scratch more than the boys (that may be because boys tend to be out more)?

I cant imagine ever having a home without a cat (& / or a dog).

Me neither. The scratching is mainly a kitten thing, I think, although a cat who's new to a house, or who's not been trained to a scratch post, may still do it as an adult. Two of the current three cats are outdoor, and they have a special log in the garden that they use to scratch - their idea, not mine, but every morning when they get let out, they're both over there having a good go! Our third one is a Maine Coon, and he's always been indoor, but he's very good at using his scratch post - it's just when he's on the chairs having a snooze, he'll stretch out and extend his claws and pull the fabric. A house cat is a lot of work, though. It takes me a good 10 minutes in the morning to clean up the kitchen (litter tray, plus litter trailed all over the floor), feed and water the cat, and everything in the house has fur on it - there's fur like tumbleweed all over the floor! Doesn't bother us at all, we're happy with the cat, but it would be a bit of a shock to a previous non-cat owner.

Christ.

If the poor girl wants a cat and will look after it, why are people shooting her down?

Its a cat, not a human baby.

So if it's a cat, it doesn't matter who you home it with? I'll tell the RSPCA, they'll be delighted that they can now disband and close all their cat rescue centres.

It's a pet forum, the OP asked for advice, she's got it. If you can't cope, probably best to find something less demanding.

Some people may have been a bit harsh in your eyes, but if you go to a rescue centre you'll see that a lot of cats & dogs are there, not because their owner has died or has had to go into residential care or hospital, but because what looks cute & fluffy at three months has given them all manner of headaches once they've got it home.

I think the OP is thinking carefully about the decision to have a cat, but as others have said, she's living in her parents' home & she can't just think about now, she's also got to think about what happens further down the line. Cats are less dependent than dogs, but the fact remains that she's not going to be living at home for ever, so who's going to look after the cat when she moves out? There's also vet bills to consider, as well as buying the things that will be needed from day one, such as a tray, food & water dishes, toys, regular food bills. That's likely to be on her parents' plate, so if they're not keen she has to respect that. People are just trying to let her see the negatives of having a cat - there are lots of plus points, but she can't allow them to blind her to the minus ones, something her parents may be more able to see, as they're the ones who'll probably be footing the bills.

Have you had many cats??

Granted they are a lot less work than a baby but they still need to be looked after.

I don't think anyone has been nasty but the fact is Beth is 15 years old. I for one certainly couldn't have managed a cat when I was 15... (being sole carer / paying for cat etc) that doesn't detract from how much I adored our childhood cat but it was my Mum who looked after her