Well, regarding Romeo & Indis current situation I'm just going to post what I posted on BTTB, as it seems to have gone down quite well there.
I need someone to clear something up for me as I don't mind admitting the only sport I follow is footie and I know absolutely zilch about the surfing scene. Is surfing a dead end career, OR is it possible to make a reasonable amount of money out of it?
If it is possible for him to make a good living out of it then I would like to note two things.
- Romeo needs to sort out a plan B. Anything could happen to end this career at any minute- look at Mink. He could be struck down by illness, or have an accident and break a leg at any time. He really needs to take some responsibility and think of a solid back up plan so he and Indi are not stuck for money again if anything goes wrong. He really should think about getting some qualifications so he has more options open to him.
- Secondly, if he is determined for this to be his career path then I do NOT want to see him quitting it if he decides it's too difficult. If he can't see surfing through then he won't be able to see anything through. The only excuses I will accept are (a) illness/ injury forcing him to stop, or (b) if it came down to picking between his career and his marriage.
Also, I have a few notes for the pair of them:
(a) Firstly, if you need to have a serious conversation with someone you absolutely cannot back them into a corner and expect them to react well. Romeo should have waited until Indi got home and spoken to her about it then rather than just telling her what was happening and leaving. He has the most shocking communication skills.
(b) If Romeo thinks he can merrily go off surfing with Ruby without Indi objecting then he is living on cloud cuckoo land. I understand he means well and wants to help her but (in the nicest possible way) she is not his problem. He needs to get his priorities straight and realise what a bad move this would be for their marriage. I really cannot envisage Indi having no problem with this given their history.
(c) Romeo really needs to think of this from Indis point of view a bit more. If he did she would see she is looking at the big picture. She doesn't think surfing is going to provide a family home for them and she's never been in a position where she hasn't had security before so this is bound to scare her. Assuming surfing can provide this then he needs to prove it to her, and needs to find a way to support her whilst chasing his dream.
(d) Indi also needs to think about this from Romeos point of view a bit more. He had a point when he asked her if she married a guy in a suit or if she married him. You can't pledge your life to someone then set about trying to change them. You marry them for who they are and Romeo is no salesman. She cannot pick his career for him- this is something he needs to work out for himself and he will only resent her if she sticks him in a job that makes him miserable. She seems very dismissive of him at times and assuming that he had now got "the whole chasing your dream thing out of [his] system" was very naive of her. Romeo needs to stand up to her so she know's he's serious about it.
They seem unable to look at this from the others POV and they obviously just need to be locked in a room together and forced to talk, or they're just going to keep going round in circles!
Indi has grown up in a family environment which values academic achievements and is used to being in a stable environment. Romeos family background is far more dysfunctional and he doesn't really know how to function in Indis world. They need to talk, and they need to understand each others psyche as they really seem to just try and overpower each other and this will only result in resentment. Communication is, as always key.*
*Final paragraph nicked from another poster.
EDIT- Oh, Kimberley I just saw that query. Sashas little brother went back to live with his own Dad after he refused to give Sid custody.