I believe Natalie has referenced giving 120%, so she's on my blacklist.

Brendan has so far to go to redeem himself in my eyes that it's impossible for him not to be on this list.

I can't put Natalie on that list because she's just making a fool of herself with what she says and is so obviously headed for a fall. But if she can pull it off, good luck to her.

Phil Tuffnell is my #1 bet - he'll play it for laughs non-stop, which will become grating pretty quickly and then create a new Sergeant-gate, pitting the judges against the public. The BBC will mismanage the situation, the tabloids will defend Tuffnell in pursuit of their own anti-BBC agenda ... :yawn: Sounds familiar?

I just hope it doesn't come to that - but I would say it's a very real possibility.

LOL!

My potential list is:
Jo Wood - the "getting back at you ex" line is so pathetic. I'm really hoping for a Brendan meltdown as he loses patience with her.
Ali Bastian - I know her agent was responsible but all that "sexing up" rubbish is pathetic - and not a vote winner. Poor Brian
Tuffers - only because I have a bad feeling he will be the comedy element this year and out stay his welcome prompting another sergeant-gate and acres of hand-wringing in the Daily Mail.
Joe Calzaghe - for being the runaway favourite - like other posters it will be so funny if he can't dance!


I'll add to the list any sleb who intimates the following:[LIST][*]I'm giving it (more than 100% - see above)[*]I'm only here to learn how to Tango/Waltz/etc[*]It's been an incredible journey[*]It's been a dream of mine since I was a little girl/boy[/LIST]
Any pro who says:
"CELEB tries sooo hard!"

Oh gosh! I'm just about to write these! Are you psychic???

Yes, the ones who'll irritate me would be those who say the above. Not forgetting:

+ This is the hardest thing I've done in my life! Nevermind child-birth, never-mind sporting injuries etc...
+ Judges saying "Foxtrot/Rhumba/Samba/etc. is the most difficult dance for male/female celebs" etc.

i think it might be Natalie

LOL!

Broadening the probabilities out we'll also witness:[LIST][*]Swine flu epidemic amongst the slebs (the pros will be strangely immune)[*]Sleb teaching pro some aspect of their job/hobbies etc in a form of role reversal[*]Pro and Sleb visiting a school to dance in front of the children[*]Freak injury during practice and sleb dancing on despite being bandaged head to foot etc[*]Male sleb uncomfortable with Rhumba[/LIST]

Not forgetting my absolute fave -
"Saturday night and the losing sleb and pro sobbing on each others shoulders, not able to imagine life going on without seeing each other 24 hours a day"
to
"ITT on the Monday - buttock clenching embarrassment and pro and sleb sit as far apart as possible, grimacing when they have to kiss for the cameras etc"

Oh yes that would have annoyed me too.....I would have wanted to slap her and say 'Get on with it woman'

I hope against hope that we dont have another SCD wedding this year it made me want to throw my TV through the window.

Oh dear - James is doomed to be out by the two-dance stage again then.

Matthew Cutler and Martina Hingis are already playing tennis together!

Ah the rules of the VT are many and repetitive :

If a celeb is feeling down and unfocused, call in their friends to run around hooting and howling like a hen-do/stag-night. They will be magically focused again.

If a celeb goes to a salsa club, everyone there must gaze in hushed awe at their celeb magnificence, even though they've been dancing salsa for years.

In group dance practice, men must slack off and be as homoerotic as possible, women must make mildly complimentary remarks about other female's figures that will be interpreted as incredibly bitchy on the Interwebs.

Despite by definition the fact that they only take place over one day, in Strictly time, the following last for weeks : birthdays/last days on soap operas/weddings

LOL Monkseal

There's also the VT where the couple argue/storm off - you don't see any reconciliation on the tape - cut to live rictus grins on sleb/pro about to take to the floor.

* Grandmas/little totties saying 'make us proud!', with tears running down celebs' cheeks when they see that.

* Pet goldfish/tapir/cat/crocodile appearing in the ITT segment to show their support.

* Celebs saying, "This is the hardest dance I have to do this week!"

* Celebs crying/minching, leaving the studios with the pros looking frustrated at the camera, and then leaving the studio while we hear from the microphones sobbing/hugging etc.

* Some hint of showmance going on, this year very likely Kristina and Joe. Or that Ricky Whittle and his pro partner (what's her name again?)...

We wrote similar things again! Ah. The joys of SCDs!

Claudia on ITT no matter what dance the celeb has saying it's 'famously tricky'

I remember last year she said to Tom the Salsa is 'famously tricky for the men'. Really why are all the top scores in the salsa for men?

Or the waltz is famously tricky. Then why is that what beginners start with.

Exactly. Let's not forget Waltz happens to be the dance where celebs (when they do it right) got the most tens...

Or this is the best thing I have ever done. Really? Better than winning your sports World Cup or European Championship, Grand National, representing your country winning player of the year, winning awards for acting, presenting, or getting married and having children!

I'm on a roll now.

"I just want to get through next week/learn all (note: ALL, meaning they want to get to the finals) the dances."

Ah yes the showmances - Vincent and natalie have managed to be the first ones this year

Brendan is *always* implicated somehow in a showmance - easy prey for the sleb's agent

At some point one of the celebs will have a birthday and because they can't possibly miss training their pro partner will throw a 'surprise' party for them ... because nothing says happy birthday more than a half deflated helium balloon in an empty village hall.

The celebs still in will be shown wishing them a happy birthday in an hilarious sequence, usually involving them throwing and catching a sequinned ball or prop used by one of the celebs in their 'real life' (going for cricket ball this year here).

Let's not even go down the 'tall people can't jive' route.

If a celeb has a long-term romantic partner/spouse, at some point in the series on ITT their professional partner must gush ad nauseum about how they've met said partner/spouse and they were sooooooo lovely and soooooo supportive and now said spouse and pro are going to be best friends forever, and this is proof they are not shagging their celeb partner so shut up.

ooh - male sports participants
Cue the following[LIST][*]Group of other sports celebs, usually team mates sniggering in the live audience when the sleb makes his entrance down the stairs[*]"surprise visit" to the practice studio where he shows off to said mates[*]VTs and talking heads with the team mates discussing sleb wearing Lycra[*]Guest spots on ITT as team mates say things like "never knew he had it in hmn, surprised us all etc, two left feet on the pitch etc"[/LIST]

I am weeping with laughter

Richard's taking Lilia riding ?