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The X-Factor Cliche Translator


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Old 02-09-2009, 11:06
Cult of Z-List
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“You’re a raw talent” – “On the whole horrible screeching noises emerge from your mouth, but occasionally you will hit the right note.”

“I’ll be honest” – “I’ll be rude”

“I’m doing it for my dead (insert relative here) sob sob” – “My actual singing talent is marginal so I have to play the ‘journey’ card to get to the live shows”

“You don’t really have a strong image” – “You really are so terribly ugly, please remove him/her from my presence”

“You’ve got potential” – “You can make Cowell plenty of money”

“I don’t like that song” – “Especially when you sing it”

“In ten years of doing this that is the best audition I’ve ever heard” – “Guess who’s going into the final 12 then”

“You the worst singer I’ve ever heard” – “Let’s all laugh at the deluded freak”

“You will have a number one record” – “Yeah, but every X-Factor winner gets a number one, even Leon Jackson FFS.”

Please feel free to add your own
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:07
grimtales1
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Very good
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:26
Patti-Ann
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(To one of the weakest acts) 'You'll definitely make the final' - The said weakest act is polling the most votes
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:29
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"You look like a popstar sound like a popstar." - You're unoriginal therefore so is my comment
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Old 02-09-2009, 11:50
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"Wrong song choice" - I haven't heard the song before as I've a miniscule knowledge of music and therefore I don't like it no matter how well you sung it.
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:13
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'You're not as good as you think you are." - Its scary that your ego is bigger then mine.
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:51
Tigerpaws
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"If this competition was based on talent you should win" - No matter how much we pimp you, you still aren't getting the most votes.

Love this thread thanks OP.
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:58
spannerandpony
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Excellent! Here's one for during the live shows:

"You look absolutely beautiful/great tonight"

= "Your singing was cr*p tonight so instead of saying anything about that, I'll comment on how you look".

Usually by Cheryl to one of her acts who have an off week.
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Old 02-09-2009, 12:59
spannerandpony
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"If this competition was based on talent you should win" - No matter how much we pimp you, you still aren't getting the most votes.

Love this thread thanks OP.
LOL! I hate that quote, every time Simon says it! FGS, it IS based on talent - singing talent! Or at least it's supposed to be....grrrr!
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Old 02-09-2009, 13:11
rickster1995
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"it was a little bit shouty for me at times ", they just wiped the floor with the mentors act so they are bringing them down
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Old 02-09-2009, 13:24
Agent Krycek
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"Quite frankly I was bored during that performance" - I was distracted day dreaming about Ryan and forgot to listen
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Old 02-09-2009, 13:48
Tigerpaws
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"The girls are going to love you" - You have no talent but will get through this comp based on the teen girls vote.
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Old 02-09-2009, 14:16
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"You looked really comfortable up there on stage" - What should I have for tea tonight?
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Old 02-09-2009, 14:45
oldfatman
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"One million per cent yes" - Yes.
"one hundred and fifty per cent yes" - yes.
"two hundred per cent yes" - yes.

Obviously Louis Walsh didn't do percentages at school.
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Old 02-09-2009, 14:48
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'You made that song your own" - Sorry, mind was wandering during that, but you sounded vaguely in tune so I'll pull out that stock phrase, now, back to plotting how to lure Simon away from Ryan
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Old 02-09-2009, 15:01
grimtales1
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"You made that song your own" = You sang karaoke based on a version of the song not many people have heard of
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Old 02-09-2009, 15:08
Tigerpaws
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"That was fantastic" - Several translations apply 1. That really was great or 2. That was bloody awful but if I say that they will get the sympathy vote.

"I take full responsibility for the song choice" - Crap throwing them under the bus this week was too obvious oh well theres always the sympathy vote.
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Old 02-09-2009, 15:08
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"You made that song your own" = You sang karaoke based on a version of the song not many people have heard of
"Best performance of the night." = you'll..will..sail..through..next..week.
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Old 02-09-2009, 15:18
LaVieEnRose
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"You're quirky" = "You sound like a cat being strangled, but lots of teenagers will fancy you, so we'll overlook the singing bit"
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Old 02-09-2009, 15:27
zoffster1
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"you had some tuning issues" / "there were some bum notes" - You were so out of tune even I noticed.
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Old 02-09-2009, 16:53
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"I think you might just be the best group to have ever come on the X factor" - "You have just proved you are slightly better than Hope from last year!"
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Old 02-09-2009, 16:56
grimtales1
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"If we're going to give the prize to the best singer, you should win it" = It's such a shame we aren't isn't it?
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Old 02-09-2009, 17:56
FantasticMrFox
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"If we're going to give the prize to the best singer, you should win it" = It's such a shame we aren't isn't it?
This can also be interpreted as - The public are complete morons with no taste so by saying things like this we hope they will choose the same winner that we want them to pick.
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Old 02-09-2009, 18:11
grimtales1
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True The judges try to get the public to vote the way they want don't they?
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Old 02-09-2009, 18:52
Angurdaval
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'We need someone like you in the competition' - we need someone as bad/crazy/strange as you to bump up those ratings
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