Lines you wouldn't expect (but would love ) to hear on Strictly.

Come on, be creative .

"What do you mean, its a DANCE competition!"

JJ

Bruce "I am doddery, doddery I am"


Brendan "my partner danced that excellently"


james "I think people should vote for who they like and forget about the dancing"

"I only took part for the money, I'd never even heard of Strictly dance fever or whatever the show is called...."

"Well obviously my achievements during my career mean much more than this."

"It's the taking part that counts, not the winning!"

"There was nothing in the contract about having to take it too seriously....oh wait, there it is, first paragraph, underlined, in bold and circled"

I don't care about the money, I always wanted to learn how to dance.

Tuffers: Who cares about that silly plastic ball! I want out ASAP!

This is not the hardest thing I have ever done.

My blisters do not require an emergency dash to A&E.

Please, my Gran/children are camera shy and do not want to be featured crying.

'Thank you for that restrained and elegantly phrased answer, Bruno'

'And that's an excellent Tango...who would have thought Zoe Lucker could be turned quite such a rich shade of orange?'

'I know it cost 2 grand, Tess, but it still looks like something you'd see down Yates's at 2am of a Friday night in Stoke.'

"Even my restraining order couldn't keep me away from this show"

'This hasn't been a journey, and I haven't had to give 150% as I've spent the last 15 years at dance school specialising in Ballroom and Latin, and actually, I'm blo*dy brilliant'.

Len (giving his score): One!

Celeb/Pro: "Bruce has past his sell-by date! Tess' a pest!"

My professional partner is a b*tch/b*stard and I hate them!

Bruce: Nice to see you, to see you

Audience: Oh sod off


Bruce: I'm not doddery

Audience: Oh yes you are

Going on from that - Len scoring anyone under a 7!

Alesha: What, was that a bit early for a 10 ?

Craig: Well seeing as they fell over, yes...

"Tess, please stop touching my chest......no.....what are you doing.?!?!? Don't rip my shirt off please! Noooooooooo!!!"

Pros saying: Alesha's really a fair, competent and knowledgable judge.

"You just took this competition off into the stratosphere..." * will miss Arlene*

Tess (to the man-candy of this series): Was that a squirrel under your pants?

Tess (to the man-candy of this series): *smacks* Ooo, sorry flies on your buttocks! Back to you, Brucie!

Random celeb: I'd love to learn to dance and see what I can achiveve from this experience, plus my agent said it would be good for my profile.

Random pro: oh great, another rubbish partner.