Tobacco put on the scales I said.

Virginia Wade (weighed)?

Correct

Fireman: Sir, I ran drunk!

Samir Nasri ?

Yup! Fireman Sam and an anagram

A wasp collision is messy

Wilson Palacios

( anagram)

Yep

To coarsely have sex with , at the Quorn , for instance

Roger Hunt?

Very possibly

O! I bash off ham, reportedly

Shoaib Akhtar

Part anagram, and ham actor

Correct!

Horrify off centre jingle, strange.

Female athlete

No idea on this one I'm afraid....not sure if 'horrify' requires a synonym....

'off centre' could be an instruction....that you take the off-centre letters of jingle, 'ing' or 'jing' or something?

Strange could be simply 'odd' or similar, or could be an anagram indicator of course...

It is an anagram. A very famous female athlete.

Staring me in the face now! Florence Griffith-Joyner (sp?)

It is indeed Flo Jo. Still holds world records from over 20 years ago.

Sounds like a useful hymn

Andy Carroll?

Useful = Handy

I think that is right so here is a new clue


A whole team full of Capes

Yep, it was Andy Carroll