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Tales from Nark'em Asylum Population 166
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Electra
03-10-2009
Originally Posted by Scots rool:
“Hahahahahaha **Ahmed was first. They forced him to eat his own left arm in a French Baguette. ‘I’m not a sandwich’ he screamed. Turns out he was**.


Nooooooo not Dan! ”

I know

At least Rachel wanted to help him Rex is now officially on my shit list. Cowardly little runt
_Broken_
03-10-2009
They killed Dan,Michelle and Stuart

loving the rachel and Rex relationship,very funny.you never mentioned Vannessa or Becki,so what happened to them?
Barracute
03-10-2009
another great ep - Rex steals ANOTHER ep lolol
Stephok
04-10-2009
Originally Posted by Barracute:
“another great ep - Rex steals ANOTHER ep lolol”

Cult of Z-list does appear to be playing Rachel and Rex as true life .......I'm gambling and saying .....Rachel bumps off Rex in the final !
SpecialFried
04-10-2009
Originally Posted by Stephok:
“Cult of Z-list does appear to be playing Rachel and Rex as true life .......I'm gambling and saying .....Rachel bumps off Rex in the final !”

Oh please, please....
Banimon!
04-10-2009
This story is AMAZING!!! Its better than most of the actual books written by actual authors that i've read! Cult of Z, you ACE!!!
By the way this is my first post on the BB forum so I thought I'd make it count on a champion thread!
Cult of Z-List
04-10-2009
Originally Posted by Stephok:
“Cult of Z-list does appear to be playing Rachel and Rex as true life .......I'm gambling and saying .....Rachel bumps off Rex in the final !”

A massive Rachel shock is on the way
SpecialFried
04-10-2009
*chill fingers around the heart*
Barracute
04-10-2009
Originally Posted by Cult of Z-List:
“A massive Rachel shock is on the way”

She's in love with Rex
rossyrahrah
04-10-2009
Originally Posted by Barracute:
“She's in love with Rex ”

No shock there

Me want more!
Kewpee
04-10-2009
Originally Posted by Cult of Z-List:
“A massive Rachel shock is on the way”

Not dressed as a cup cake surely??

anything but the bliddy cup cake....
Jenova
05-10-2009
Originally Posted by Electra:
“I know

At least Rachel wanted to help him Rex is now officially on my shit list. Cowardly little runt ”

Of course IRL Rex would have kicked their asses imo while Rachel was still saying ''Guys, guys we really need to talk about this'' And I don't think they'd have taken Dan down anyway lol
Cult of Z-List
05-10-2009
Episode 19 – The Voice of Rainbow

Marcus sits in the Rainbow chair looking forlornly at the screen. He is confused and disorientated. Not only had he been kidnapped and humiliated by three fixated stalkers but he had then been told that he was in some way essential to a plan to escape from this place. Why he was essential nobody knew, what the plan was nobody knew, and nobody even knew where the hell they were. Added to this his arms were killing him from where he had been tied down (f**king crazy weirdo Sree, just give me five minutes alone with him he thought), he still had pink ribbons in his mullet, his underpants were a bit crusty, and if he didn’t get any ‘me-time’ soon he felt like his b**ls were going to explode. All in all Marcus decided that he had had better days.

The screen eventually splutters to life and a metallic voice emerges. “Hello Marcus. Thanks for coming. Have the Rainbow 7 briefed you on the situation.”

“Don’t give me that s**t,” replies an angry Marcus, “I’m not giving you any help you until someone tells me what the hell is going on.”

There is a whirring noise as Rainbow considers this. “That would be …… unfortunate Marcus.”

“Compared to what I have just been ‘unfortunate’ doesn’t down sound very intimidating. Now are you going to answer my question?”

“Rainbow will get back to you on that.”

With that Marcus shouts “F**k this” and jumps out of the chair and heads towards the door. It slams shut. “Marcus, sit down” Rainbow commands him. Marcus kicks and pulls at the door, raging and trying to force it open. “Marcus, sit down”, comes the voice of Rainbow, after a pause its adds, “Please.”

Marcus reluctantly realizes he is trapped and sits down again. his face like thunder. Rainbow continues. “Marcus, you must understand. There is more at stake here then any of you realise. Much much more. I am asking you to trust me. If you want to escape from this situation then you have little choice.”

Marcus continues to glower at the screen. “At least tell me where the hell I am. Is this a loony bin?”

“No”

“Is it some form of purgatory, an afterlife or something?”

“No this is neither heaven or hell. It is not even the Hotel California”

“Then I get it, it’s dream isn’t it. I’m gonna wake up in a minute with the son-of-a-bitch of a hangover.”

“No Marcus, what is happening to you is very real.”

There is a silence as Marcus digests this. Finally he says “What if I just refuse to help you Rainbow?”

Rainbow answers, choosing his words carefully. “Then I am afraid that on the balance of probabilities you will die a very painful death. You see Marcus I am he who was known as The Director. I had this ……place running smoothly, but something has gone wrong. One of your ….. contemporaries has been …. possessed for want of a better word by a ….. malevolent entity. She is currently, er, misbehaving and infecting those around her. About half of your contemporaries are already dead. So you see if you refuse to help then you have nowhere to go. If you truly want to die you may leave this room now, and I will put on the kettle while you wait.”

Marcus considers this. “OK, since you put it like that I would appear I have f**k all choice.”

“Thank you, Marcus. So your orders are simple. You and the Rainbow 7 will extract Noirin and Pete from Ward 7 and you and Agent Bungle are to bring them here. The others are then to proceed to Ward 10 where they will face the Dark Mistress in a final battle. Failure is not an option Marcus. Failure marks the end of everything ……”


Next episode – Into the trap
SpecialFried
05-10-2009
Best thing on the forum. (Not that there's much competition, currently....)

*thumbs up to Z-List*

JUPITERDATALEGE
05-10-2009
hats off to you COZL,yet again a classic episode,loving marcus,freddie and jon's prominent roles in the saga,well done,this is a truly special exciting high quality epic saga,COZL RULES!
rossyrahrah
05-10-2009
Hurray Marcus is back! Time for some ninja styley ass-kicking
Scots rool
05-10-2009
Ooooooo 'citing stuff.
Electra
05-10-2009
Originally Posted by rossyrahrah:
“Hurray Marcus is back! Time for some ninja styley ass-kicking”

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Dan's martial arts skills couldn't save him & he's twice Marcus' size


Run Marcus....run like the wind
Banimon!
05-10-2009
"Bloody Brilliant" in the words of David!
Barracute
05-10-2009
“No this is neither heaven or hell. It is not even the Hotel California”


"If you truly want to die you may leave this room now, and I will put on the kettle while you wait.”


Love Rainbow's sense of humour ROTFLLLLL
Kewpee
05-10-2009
Quote:
“he still had pink ribbons in his mullet, his underpants were a bit crusty, and if he didn’t get any ‘me-time’ soon he felt like his b**ls were going to explode. All in all Marcus decided that he had had better days.”

Attractive *swoon*

Are they all going to end up somewhere over the Rainbow?
rossyrahrah
05-10-2009
Originally Posted by Kewpee:
“Attractive *swoon*”

LMFAO! Even *I* draw the line at crusty gruds

As for the swollen b**ls though....
Stephok
06-10-2009
Originally Posted by rossyrahrah:
“LMFAO! Even *I* draw the line at crusty gruds

As for the swollen b**ls though....”

Imagine what they will be like when he rescues Noirin !!
Cult of Z-List
06-10-2009
Episode 20 – Into the Snare

The chefs enter Ward 6 and the first thing the notice is the deathly quiet. “Hello”, calls Roberto, “Anyone about?” For a few seconds there is no reply, then Maxwell blunders in, bizarrely dressed in only his boxers, and what appears to be red body paint. “I’m off the hook,” he says weakly. “I haven’t got time for this Maxwell,” replies Roberto, but to his surprise Maxwell collapses into his arms. “Off …. the …. hook”, Maxwell says even more weakly and points to his left before he dies in Roberto’s arms. It takes Roberto a few seconds to register what is happening. He looks at is hands and discovers it is not red body paint but blood, then he looks in the direction that Maxwell had indicated and he sees an horrific site. The occupants of Ward 6 are all impaled on hooks one after the other in a line, all dead or dying, except Kinga who is at their feet with bottles protruding out of every orifice at unusual angles.

“So nice of you to join us,” sounds an unidentified voice, “but I’m afraid you missed the best bit of the party.”

The chefs spin round and find themselves face to face with the three remaining horsemen. They try to flee but it’s too late. Bureaucracy’s whip lashes out and snakes it’s way around Rex’s neck, and Naked Ambition lithely moves behind Gos, draws a knife and holds it to his throat. Spite leans against the door sneering.

“The Dark Mistress wants you alive”, Bureaucracy announces, “ although WE have no particular preference ….”

Just then another figure enters the fray. It is Craig. His eyes are filled with tears and he is muttering under his breath “Anfernee, I’ve lost Anfernee, has anyone seen him?” He then notices the bodies hanging on the hooks and screams, “Anfernee, what are you doing up there next to Makosi, you said you weren’t going to play with her anymore.” Then in a rage he attacks one of the hanging corpses. “Keep away from him you bitch. He doesn’t love you like he loves me ….”

The Horsemen watch the scene with a mixture of amusement and bemusement and that is all the distraction the chefs need. Gos strikes Naked Ambition with his elbow, winding her, and Roberto pulls the whip away from Rex’s neck. “Run!” he screams. The Chefs try to escape but Bureaucracy recovers quickly, his whip snakes out again and wraps around Penny’s ankle trapping her. She struggles to escape and falls over. Seeing her helplessness Spite runs over to her. “I’ll get this one Mawio, look how well I’m doing.”

Rachel has seen it as well and with a scream she leaps at Spite. “Luke you pathetic little worm!” she cries and slams him against the wall with all her weight. Penny jumps up and runs. Time seems to stand still.

Spite is staring at Rachel a look of wide eyed fascination on is face. Then he speaks, “Ahh Rachel. Poor sweet Rachel, always so pure, always so kind. I’ve always hated you you know.”

“Well you make me very cross sometimes as well”, replies Rachel.

Spite feigns surprise and hurt. “But why? Is it my tongue? Some people say I have a very poisonous tongue. But that’s not where my real poison is sweet Rachel. Oh no, my real poison … that’s on my spikes.”

For a second Rachel doesn’t comprehend what he is saying but then looks down. Dozens of red spots have appeared on her skin where she has been stabbed by the spikes on Spite’s gimp suit. There is a look of almost orgasmic joy on Spites face.

Rachel feels her legs beginning to give way and she struggles for breath, she falls to the floor and starts convulsing, her mouth foaming. Spite is standing over her, studying her with forensic interest. “A fascinating substance don’t you think,” he observes, “ The Dark Mistress says it was distilled from aspects of my own psyche. Very fast acting. And absolutely deadly.” With a sneer he kicks Rachel viciously in the head. It lolls to one side, her neck snapped, “Mawio, Mawio”, he squeals, his voice cracking with the joy, “I’ve got one, I’ve got one”

At the double doors, which Gos is crow-baring open, Rex screams “Rachel! No!” he attempts to head back into the Ward but Roberto grabs him and pulls him through the doors as they snap shut. Outside Rex bangs his fists against the door screaming “Open it, open it, we can’t leave her. Not her. Anyone but her.” Penny is crying and repeating “Nice lady help me, nice lady help me”.

After a minute Rex calms down. He looks Roberto in the eye. “We go to Ward 9 next.”

Roberto replies angrily, “Will you forget about Nicole just this once.”

Rex is still calm. “This has got f**k all to do with Nicole. Ward 9 is where I live. I know the place and I know the people. And when we get there that is where we stop running. It is where we turn around and fight these f**kers. And remember, whatever else happens, Spite is mine ……”


Next Episode – Raid on Ward 7
SpecialFried
06-10-2009
*inconsolable*

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