Hi Sally, just wanted to say how lovely to see you caring and helping all the people that use this thread. You are a wonderful kind person. xx

It's how I was raised Eva's granny my parents never had much as dad was very disabled and mum was his carer I am the youngest of 5 girls but my dad was always there for us he passed away when I was just 13 bit I still miss him and I am now almost 52 x

Hey everyone,

Not sure how many will remember me, I used to post as Sootygirl.

Just thought I’d pop in and say hi.

Sally as usual you are always around to help people out!

And Pete, glad you are feeling much better, and 5 grandchildren!!!

I’m doing pretty well just now, I have a beautiful 9 week old baby girl and although I struggled a bit for the first few weeks with some major baby blues I am slowly starting to feel more normal now!

Wishing everyone all the best for the festive season! xx

hiya how wonderful whats her name i am so pleased for you hows things x

Sootygirl. how nice to see you and hear the lovely news about your daughter, big congratulations. I remember how excited we all were with your wedding preparations, how could I ever forget those beautiful shoes. It seems ages ago now, really pleased to hear you're doing so well. x

I've a bit of the blues today and I'm not feeling very spirited, had a rough week. I'm looking for some sort of distraction, like something uplifting to read maybe. Do you know anything like that? Will you tell me what it is, please?

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I could do with some help, I dont know what's wrong with me, don't know how to put it into words, but i feel horrible, I cant stop crying and I don't know why and it feels like my heads about to explode,

If it continues then it might be depression setting in and so the first thing I'd suggest is making an appointment with your GP as early as possible to discuss what you're going through and what the treatments are. Good luck, cook.

hi cook i think television user is right it sounds very much like depression you really need to see your gp and be honest as you can with them we can talk to you for now but you really need expert help x

Hi,

What happened last night, doesn't happen very often, it's the first time it's happened in months, but it was also one of the worst time's it's happened. It's like life will be going fine and then something tiny will happen and It seems to affect me massively, last night all seemed to start out because some plans got cancelled, It sounds so stupid but sometimes something happens and it keeps going round and round in my head, and i can't really think of anything else, and I don't feel like I can tell anybody about it because it's such a pathetic thing to be bothered about, then it stops being about just that and all kinds of horrible thoughts creep into my head, stuff that happened when I was growing up. It sort of turns into a kind of sad anger. I try to snap myself out of it but I don't know how to do it. Last night i really remember feeling like there was so much stuff in my head that it was physically hurting my skull. I live in Thailand at the moment, which makes seeing a GP a little harder (although that's probably just me making up excuses because I don't want to see a GP). A lot of the time I feel absolutely fine and then I have those little episodes, then I'll feel down for a few days after, kinda like a hangover, then I just go back to normal for a bit. I've tried talking to friends about it when it's happening but I find that that just makes the "hangover" feeling worse, and I get embarassed about it when i start to feel normal. also i don't thnk I explain it well enough because It's hard to put into words properly, and I worry people are going to think I'm mentally ill, I also feel selfish talking to people about it because no one else seems to need to talk about stuff like that.

If these "blue day" episodes get worse in terms of frequency or intensity then it might be worth seeing a doctor recommended by the British embassy or local British consulate depending upon where you are in Thailand. If there are unresolved/traumatic issues from childhood/adolescence then some counselling sessions might be an option but, again, that's one for a doctor's consultation. In the meantime, please try not to get too upset about, or dwell upon, one single bad day. Again, all good wishes .

just when you think life is ticking along quite nicely boom something smacks you bang in the face

This is probably the fourth time I've started to write something here then not, mainly because it sounds really stupid.

I've just found out that my ex is pregnant (those who know me hopefully remember what happened between us)... I am happy for her (I'm certain I am), but it does sting somewhat...

:'(

you ok diss xxxx

I am.

As I said, it just kind of stings really. I am happy for her, but at the same time it's just brought to mind how I'm not moving on with my life and that I don't think I'm really going anywhere in life. (Well, I probably am, just don't think that way at the moment.)

I'm happy for her.

If I keep saying it, it might become true.

i hope your okay, i can imagine it feels strange as shes your ex, and shes pregnant with a baby to someone else,and you two may of had a child together if you'd of stay together perhaps, something similar happend to me a few years back, but in all honesty i'd love to have children, but for now i just want to enjoy myself and do things i can before looking to settle down and starting a new part of my life

I need to rant I'm probably just having a bad day but I really feel at the end of my tether I am absolutely shattered in pain and I feel like just getting on a coach a doing a disappearing act

Big hugs Sally. xx

thanks avasgranny im just tired at the moment not sleeping well and trying to jump thru hoops to prove to mr cameron that my partner really is unable to work i really need a break but it is not even a possibility in the near future

Thanks. It is a little more complicated than just that, but I know what you mean. As somebody said to me the other day though, there's nothing that dwelling on it and over-thinking about it can accomplish, so there's no point. Luckily I'm pretty busy with uni work (some of it is course work!) at the moment, so at least I'm not at home moping all day

im back again.

Im just lacking in motivation/emotion for anything right now.

I'm working any hours I can, to try save some money, so I can buy a car in summer, as I've passed my driving test now, but at the moment, I'm just not bothered.

Me and my girlfriend arent so great, we've nearly split up, again. We've been together 4 months, but shes in love with me and I don't love her. But I don't know if thats me not letting myself, so I can push the self destruct button, or if I genuinely dont. I say all the right things and do all the right things, but I dont feel anything. She knows I'm not in love with her - she says she knows because I havent said anything. But I'm just "meh" about it.

I have no idea what I'm gonna do after uni anymore, my whole plans have gone down the drain.
I'm jobhunting like mad, not even an interview in 2 years.

I have work to do for uni but I can't be bothered to sit down and do it. I'm in the uni library now, waiting for my presentation group, and I should be preparing, but I'm sat on here instead.

I'm not depressed, I'm just not anything. I don't go out anymore, because it gets to about midnight and I can't be bothered, so I go home. I dont enjoy going out and havent since about September. I'm only 19! And it's not like I went clubbing underage and the novelty has worn off, I didnt start going out until I started uni! But by about 11pm now I'm just tired.

I'm working any hours I can, to try save some money, so I can buy a car in summer, as I've passed my driving test now, but at the moment, I'm just not bothered.

This is a nice but dull target. Once you have the car it's just going to suck up the money to keep it on the road. It's good to have a sensible target but it's a bit of a drip

Me and my girlfriend arent so great, we've nearly split up, again. We've been together 4 months, but shes in love with me and I don't love her. But I'm just "meh" about it.

Many relationships are like that. They're comfortable to cruise through but eventually will just start to sap you. Drip drip

I have no idea what I'm gonna do after uni anymore, my whole plans have gone down the drain.
I'm jobhunting like mad, not even an interview in 2 years.

It's very difficult at your age to lay out a career path, and I'd suspect 99% of people don't. If you had a real ambition to be climbing x single handed it would be so much easier but the best you can do in my opinion is look around as widely as you can and ask what if? If you focus on the "this is what I wanted and why it's wrong" you just get into drip drip drip

I have work to do for uni but I can't be bothered to sit down and do it. I'm in the uni library now, waiting for my presentation group, and I should be preparing, but I'm sat on here instead.

If you can master one skill that will really help you later in life regardless of what career you choose it's "f it then - if I'm that bored I might as well clear my to do list"

I don't go out anymore, because it gets to about midnight and I can't be bothered, so I go home.

This is a lot of people. The novelty of going to clubs etc wore off for me shortly after it became legal to do so, similarly staying up all night only excited me with the right stimulants, and the novelty of that wore off too.

I'm not depressed, I'm just not anything.

This is I'm afraid the day to day grind that forms most people's lives. It's why people focus on their summer holidays, abseil down buildings or go on shooting sprees. Drip Drip Drip Drip the monotonous water torture of normal life

No magic cure but find something exciting or different to focus on. Doesn't have to be career focused or even sensible - as long as you can plot out steps to achieving it and tick them off as you go so you can mark your progress and think well today I'm x better than I was yesterday

Hi all ,
Just feeling so lost now I lost my mum suddenly coming up to 2 years this Friday , we argued a few days before and that has bugged me as I can't change it .Also for about 9 month I have had memory issues and had issues remembering really last 3 years but especially last year I am currently seeing dr about this and hospital . This medical issue alone is frustrating and as there is no name yet for what I have it's annoying .
I have been ok about my mum well as well as I can be but with the anniversary coming up I feel weird , I can't remember how I was last year so it's like my emotions at up to date but my head is behind times . I have been off work due to head issues as role I have means I need to be on the ball and now we have found out my bf will be losing his job due to cuts . It feels like my life has stopped and everything feels like it goes wrong , I try to do positive things like garden and improving house but when the tasks are done and I think about everything I get annoyed .
Sorry if it doesn't make sense I just needed somewhere to vent

Bad form to quote ones self, I know, but I just need to vent this out. I've been trying to be happy for Sarah, I really have. I really want to. But I just can't. I don't know why I'm finding it so hard.

I'm not dwelling on it, so that's not a problem - it's not as if I'm thinking about her/us/it all the time (as once I may have), but it's still there, lingering in the back of my mind. She should have had my child, now she's having somebody else's. I really, honestly and truly, want to feel happy for her. We're not what we once were, I know that, and I know that what happened between us is ancient history now, and when I saw her over the summer it was a big moment in letting go which is why I'm so surprised and annoyed at myself that I'm taking this so hard and can't seem to get it out of my mind.

What doesn't help is just this whole thing - the chip on my shoulder as it were - about being a dad myself, as I'm sure I've said before, this is partly due to the fact that I just want to be able to prove myself a better man than the bastard who fathered me was. It's not just that though, as I was saying to my housemate earlier (who, ironically, and (I kind of wish I was making this up) is also called Sarah !) it's the whole having somebody who is mine to look after that I miss - not in a controlling or possessive way, but this is what I've missed over the past few years; the little things like watching them grow, taking them places that they'll enjoy, comforting them when they fall over and hurt themselves or they have a bad dream. Even some of the shit stuff that goes with being a parent, sometimes literally. And yes, people have said that they think I would make a good dad, and often I'll believe them, but that doesn't really help the fact that it should've already been the case. And it's so many fecking years and I still haven't got over it. I've come close, and there have been times when I've pretty much been there - including recently - but something happens, like finding out Sarah's pregnant, that just brings it all back. And, although people have said that I will find a nice woman who will be the mother of my children (my housemate used the word 'many' when we were talking earlier which was both encouraging and discouraging!) I just can't see myself being able to find someone who'll feel the same about me.

I'm annoyed at myself. I'm annoyed that I can't think of why this has happened, or why I just can't seem to get over it. I'm annoyed of the way that I think about myself being completely different to the way other people see me and I'm annoyed that I don't know what is the actual me.

I'm sorry, I've ranted on a fair bit. There is no TL;DR... you didn't miss anything really.

Trouble is diss none of it was your choice so you haven't been able to move on life is cruel sometimes and the things we want so badly seem to elude us I'm sure you will meet your miss right and have kids of your own I have many many regrets but onwards and upwards xx