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DS Crisis Support Group? (Part 5)


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Old 18-10-2009, 17:23
dorydaryl
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Sorry not to have been here for some time, but I am delighted the thread is thriving. Great stuff....well, it is but it isn't if you know what I mean. It's not nice going through crap! xxx
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Old 18-10-2009, 17:27
dorydaryl
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I missed half of this thread cos the moderators moved it.
No problem.

My bruv was a keen amateur photographer in Leeds (took an amazing picture of the Town Hall in Black and White which we have framed in our house)

Later did Media TV and Film course at Newcastle. He has had a vidcam since the '80s. Wonderful home footage scattered on various hard drives.

Then got a job at the BBC.

He is very good and well regarded by colleagues.
Been there donkeys years now. We still watch out for his stories on the news.
Rageh Omar, John Simpson, Frank Gardner and others request him by name to edit their reports.

So my advice is get a camera, try local papers, get on a college course, apply top broadcasters.

Dissonance - those photos are great
Hey, I'm a Loiner. I bet that photo is great. When I'm coming back into the city from a trip out, I always look out for the Town Hall and Uni as landmarks!
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Old 18-10-2009, 19:43
Sonic Dave
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Hi all, its been a while sorry for disappearing.

I had nothing but computer/internet issues at the same time as my work going through a peak period which meant little rest but I am back.
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Old 20-10-2009, 17:51
Oh, OK!
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My grandmother has ovarian cancer. Found out today it's spread to her bowels and if she doesn't get over being sick and ill she won't be getting any more chemo. Since it's an aggresive treatment she'll probably refuse anyways.

I just can't believe she'll go from the local hospital to a hospice. I'll never have a brew and watch Emmerdale with her in her lounge ever again
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Old 20-10-2009, 17:54
Delusion
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My grandmother has ovarian cancer. Found out today it's spread to her bowels and if she doesn't get over being sick and ill she won't be getting any more chemo. Since it's an aggresive treatment she'll probably refuse anyways.

I just can't believe she'll go from the local hospital to a hospice. I'll never have a brew and watch Emmerdale with her in her lounge ever again
awwwwwwwwww sorry
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Old 20-10-2009, 20:09
sallygill1961
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My grandmother has ovarian cancer. Found out today it's spread to her bowels and if she doesn't get over being sick and ill she won't be getting any more chemo. Since it's an aggresive treatment she'll probably refuse anyways.

I just can't believe she'll go from the local hospital to a hospice. I'll never have a brew and watch Emmerdale with her in her lounge ever again

so sorry to hear that its a really horrible disease my niece has it too i wish i could say more but right now i'm not able to thinking of you xxx
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Old 20-10-2009, 22:42
Oh, OK!
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So sorry the last post wasn't very eloquently put, I was a bit hysterical as it'd just hit me suddenly.

Thank you, I've posted in here before when it all first happened years ago and it helped so much. I'm terrible at talking to people or showing emotions - I haven't told anyone in real life because I hate pity. People looking at me like I'm about to burst into tears at any given moment! I kinda get a bit up and down. I'm fine during the day then when I have time to think at night it all just gets too much and I feel like I'm drowning. My grandmother is my whole world, the only person I truely trust, the only one I can always rely on. Since she's had cancer she gets really ill and we all hold our breath then she makes an amazing recovery. But this is different. This is the beginning of the end and it's come rather suddenly. I thought because we've practically lost her already and because we've come so close on a number of occasions that this would be less painful and more of a relief but it's unbearable.

I'm sorry, as I know people have much worse problems here but right now it feels like I'm the only person in the world to ever have lost someone very close. In fact it probably would be easier if I had lost her suddenly. Waiting for the inevitable is probably the hardest part..
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Old 21-10-2009, 08:41
jonesyboy
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hi pete sorry to hear about the baby i hope c is ok good luck with your back op and please do keep in touch
Thank you Sally. After the first few days, Catherine is coping surprisingly well. I think she realises that all is not doom and gloom with a Downs baby.. That plus the support given to her by so many people. Family, friends and medical staff.

The baby is doing well now and due to be transferred out of Intensive care soon. . C will be re-admitted then, until they are both allowed home hopefully within a week.

One week to go for me before my Op. The nearer it gets the worse I feel.

Sorry this is a ME post. I am rather pre-occupied.
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Old 24-10-2009, 13:12
Sonic Dave
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I noticed my return has been outshadowed, I am sorry if I offended anyone if I have left twice, but that's unavoidable with my work keeping me busy for periods at a time.
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Old 24-10-2009, 19:24
sallygill1961
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Hi dave no you haven't offended anyone the thread is rather quiet these days i lurk occasionally and do post sometimes i'm not well at the moment so not online much at all please do post though its always nice to see old friends x
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Old 27-10-2009, 12:28
Sonic Dave
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ah thats good, it's a pity the thread is kinda quiet these days.
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Old 28-10-2009, 07:56
rockerchick
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I didn't want to start yet another thread in advice so i thought i'd post here.
I just feel terribly lonely. I don't know why cos i have my 3 year old and a boyfriend.
I've just had flu so i'm just getting over that(and it put me in hospital last week cos of my asthma) so i havn't been able to do much.
The one friend i had something in common with(has 2 kids and is roundabout my age) i've had to cut out of my life because she has gotten together with my ex fiance. I didn't see her much anyway as she was terrible at keeping to arrangements.
My friends all have jobs so are busy alot of the time.
Can't think of anything else to say really except how terribly lonely i feel.
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Old 29-10-2009, 02:07
cassieconvinced
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I didn't want to start yet another thread in advice so i thought i'd post here.
I just feel terribly lonely. I don't know why cos i have my 3 year old and a boyfriend.
I've just had flu so i'm just getting over that(and it put me in hospital last week cos of my asthma) so i havn't been able to do much.
The one friend i had something in common with(has 2 kids and is roundabout my age) i've had to cut out of my life because she has gotten together with my ex fiance. I didn't see her much anyway as she was terrible at keeping to arrangements.
My friends all have jobs so are busy alot of the time.
Can't think of anything else to say really except how terribly lonely i feel.
Never nice to feel lonely. Is there no possibility to join a club/group/ anything where you can interact with people beside your kid and bf? Maybe when your child starts school you can get involved there?
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:20
maxinerules
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I am having trouble deciding whether or not to go to hear a verdict related to my mother's death.It is a professional disciplinary hearing and I attended two days earlier this year but they ran out of time when it came to the actual 'sentencing' so it has been deferred for 3 months.

I found it deeply distressing to go before,as she died 5 years ago and hearing the circs of her last week,her character etc being brought up was just awful.This hearing had been hanging over me for the 5 years which meant I could not let go and move on.

I know what the outcome will be.He will be removed from the register for 5 years .After 5 years he will probably be reinstated,with or without conditions attached.I have no intention of following this case/his career forever,but I really don't know whether I should go to hear the verdict or not.If they had not run out of time i would have heard what the panel had to say.If anyone has any experience or suggestions I'd be grateful for the input.
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Old 05-11-2009, 09:59
sallygill1961
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I am having trouble deciding whether or not to go to hear a verdict related to my mother's death.It is a professional disciplinary hearing and I attended two days earlier this year but they ran out of time when it came to the actual 'sentencing' so it has been deferred for 3 months.

I found it deeply distressing to go before,as she died 5 years ago and hearing the circs of her last week,her character etc being brought up was just awful.This hearing had been hanging over me for the 5 years which meant I could not let go and move on.

I know what the outcome will be.He will be removed from the register for 5 years .After 5 years he will probably be reinstated,with or without conditions attached.I have no intention of following this case/his career forever,but I really don't know whether I should go to hear the verdict or not.If they had not run out of time i would have heard what the panel had to say.If anyone has any experience or suggestions I'd be grateful for the input.
it depends do you think you can move on without going really me i think i would need to go and hear it for myself hope i have been some help x
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Old 05-11-2009, 10:39
maxinerules
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I don't know if I can move on without going.But my family did not go and seem to regard me as wallowing/being hysterical for attending(the people there were relieved I turned up,said they did not want to hassle but to have someone from the family turn up meant a lot to their case).I will definitely not go to any more appeals/hearings, and I know this will upset me to go ,so I am torn.It does help that you feel the same,that you would have to go and hear what they say.
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Old 22-11-2009, 16:43
Banimon!
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I've got a dA acount too- never thought to share it with you guys before - http://www.nightshade73.deviantart.com/
*GASP* Someone else from Plymouth

Sorry for the outburst
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Old 22-11-2009, 16:48
Banimon!
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Aww after reading through this thread I feel ashamed for putting the smilie in.

Sorry everyone.
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Old 01-12-2009, 19:05
OTTONI
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Hi, everyone just thought i would come on here and try and get some advice. I'm feeling quite depressed at the moment. I have posted on here before but not recently. quick summary, i have 2 children aged 8 and 6 and a loving partner we've been together 10 years in march next year. about 7 yrs ago i was a victim of an armed robbery, basically lost loads of confidence, started working about 6 months later on 12 hrs a week and built this up to 28 hrs a week, and often do 30, 35 hrs a week. In the last yr my partner has started working for bp, and doing some odd shifts like 6am till 2pm, by the time she comes home she is exhausted and often falls asleep by 7 or 8pm. This annoys me, but i know how hard she is working and anyone in her position would do the same.

So now she is working full time, and heres me doing 28, i feel totally inadequate, im at home all day on a mon and tues and have to do all the domestic duties, this really gets me down, i feel like i should be the one at work, being a proper man! i know i sound like im just sorry for myself. I suffer from ocd and have all sorts of terrible repeating thoughts and my latest one seems to be about my partner, how im now questioning my love and feelings for her, this seems to have come from nowhere! im on anti depressants but these don't seem to really be helping. i've looked into changing my job and have twice applied for a driving job and twice been turned down for it, i feel like im stuck in a rut. i feel like my partner has changed, she used to be a stay at home mum, but now she works more hours than me, she seems to have changed as well, she i suppose is more independent. sorry for waffling on but unfortuntly i dont really have any friends as such, thanks for listening.
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Old 02-12-2009, 09:58
magnetictiger
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Hi Ottoni

I'm sorry you are finding things hard at the moment. I can relate to the terrible repeating thoughts - I suffer a lot from intrusive thoughts that I can't get out of my head.

Have you had any help other than anti-depressants? I was recommended this book by my Pyschiatrist, and I hope it'll help when I finally read it! There is also an OCD Clinic near me that I hope will help when my referal comes through. Is there anything similar where you are?

If you feel the antidepressants aren't working, it is worth going back to your GP and letting them know. There are dozens of types and it can take a few goes to get one that is right for you.

I can also relate to you feeling annoyed at your OH for being exhausted. I don't work, and my OH often works long hours. I'm isolated and want a chat when he gets in, but he often wants some quiet time.

Have you thought about getting out and meeting people? There are often Depression groups around, or you could go to a class of some sort?

Hope you feel better soon
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Old 05-12-2009, 23:31
stesupforit
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I thought I would never ever have to type here. My best friend and soul mate took her own life this morning. I simply do not know how to cope. She was my life. She made life worthwhile. Please tell me how I should cope.
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Old 06-12-2009, 10:03
Banimon!
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I thought I would never ever have to type here. My best friend and soul mate took her own life this morning. I simply do not know how to cope. She was my life. She made life worthwhile. Please tell me how I should cope.
Oh my God. Are you okay? I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I hope your okay and if I did know what you were going through then I would help any way I could.
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Old 06-12-2009, 10:13
magnetictiger
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I thought I would never ever have to type here. My best friend and soul mate took her own life this morning. I simply do not know how to cope. She was my life. She made life worthwhile. Please tell me how I should cope.
Oh Stesupforit, how terrible. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Do you have someone you can talk to about this? Cruse offer bereavement care, and there are charities specifically for bereavement cases like yours - a google shows a few but I haven't had any personal experience of any. You could also call or email the Samaritans. Different people cope in different ways, a few try and focus on the good times (look at photos, emails, share stories), others dedicate something (plant a tree, name a star) and some do something like volunteering to help others. You can and will get through this difficult time. Do you have any mutual friends who understand what you are going through? I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Old 06-12-2009, 11:31
stesupforit
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Today is like a blur. Everything seems so surreal. Like I am trapped in a nightmare and just hoping that I wake up.

I have pictures and things but I don't think I can look at them just yet.

I feel so terrible as I was the last person she talked to. She never even hinted at what she was about to do. I thought she had gone out for I night on the town. She was drunk but nothing felt wrong.

She was emailing me from her phone. I told her to stay safe and went to bed. She was found by members of the public in the early hours. Ice cold and alone. And I was sleeping. I keep playing over and over in my mind, should I have spotted a hidden meaning in her emails. Could I have done something.

Her last email that was not sent but stored on her phone read, To Stephen. I know this is a terrible time as it's nearly Xmas. I can't cope anymore. I want you to know I will always love you.

Things were pretty terrible in her life. Her mum has cancer and has had a number of strokes. Her mum don't even know yet. She is mostly brain damaged.

I feel utterly helpless. Isolated.
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Old 06-12-2009, 11:50
magnetictiger
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I'm so sorry, it is such a sad situation for you. You shouldn't feel terrible, and I don't think you could have done something or spotted something. Her unsent email shows that she loves you and cares for you, and she knew that you cared for her deeply. I'm sorry you are feeling helpless. Make sure you eat something sensible today and look after yourself. Hopefully once the shock has passed, you can begin healing. I noticed a few bereavement websites have some poems, would looking at them help you feel less isolated? It isn't something I've been through so I can't really help, but I know other people have been in similar situations and have felt all the things you are feeling.
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