I was musing over the various odd/unexpected things that happen in Strictly, and I think I’ve found an explanation: we have somehow accidentally fallen into a parallel universe, which looks just like our universe but some things are a bit topsy-turvy. Welcome to the world where –

World champion boxers are not quick on their feet

Top jockeys have no sense of balance

Internationally renowned singers who have no problem performing in front of huge audiences are suddenly paralysed by fear at the prospect of doing a little dance (poor old Heather)

The main aim of costume designers is to make their clients look as ridiculous as possible,

….and…?

no i dont think we have