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X Factor - The Soap


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Old 07-11-2009, 14:40
carolineglasgow
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I'm pretty fed up with X Factor this year and we seem to be going round in circles with many of our posts, so....... let's have a Soap Opera. We take the scene we find and add something to it. Dialogue/no dialogue, drama/no drama, broken ornaments/no broken ornaments...... the choice is ours. Here goes.


It's 2am on a Monday morning, it's midwinter, the fire is cracking, the port has been poured...... Louis and Simon are sitting discussing Rachel's exit.

"Ah, Simon, you know she really was quite good"

"You know what, she was. But those twins of yours are ruining the music biz for me"

Just then, the buzzer goes. It's the pizza delivery boy from Dominoes............
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Old 07-11-2009, 14:47
haz_cat
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Louis opens the door.
Pizza delivery boy says "Here you go. twenty quid please."
Louis pull out money and hands to pizza delivery boy.
Big gust of wind, Pizza boy's hat blows off.
Louis says "Rikki?"
Pizza Delivery Boy says "Yes. I'm here for Simon."
Louis says "Come in."
Rikki pulls a gun out of his bag and shoots Simon.

To be continued.
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Old 07-11-2009, 14:51
Love Bear
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Meanwhile, over at the X factor house, something odd seems to be emerging from Jamie's afro.
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Old 07-11-2009, 15:23
streetlegal
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... But it turns out to be Edward, who had crawled in there and fallen asleep, following the previous evening's results show, leaving a bereft John to contemplate an unimaginable future as an Ant without a Dec, or a Dec without an Ant.

As the happily reunited John and Edward skip away to begin rehearsals for their Ghostbusters routine, Jamie feels a sudden urge to contact his beloved mentor, Simon.

There is a terrible secret that Jamie has been hiding since this whole sorry X Factor saga began, but he can no longer hide the awful truth from Simon.
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Old 07-11-2009, 15:51
buenoshermanos
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Louis opens the door.
Pizza delivery boy says "Here you go. twenty quid please."
Louis pull out money and hands to pizza delivery boy.
Big gust of wind, Pizza boy's hat blows off.
Louis says "Rikki?"
Pizza Delivery Boy says "Yes. I'm here for Simon."
Louis says "Come in."
Rikki pulls a gun out of his bag and shoots Simon.

To be continued.
Simon doubles over clutching his chest and falls to his knees making moaning noises. As this continues a look of first doubt and then incredulity crosses Rikki's face as the sounds move from apparent demonstrations of pain, then to what sounds like an overacted pretense ultimately changing to laughter.

"Your mistake" says Cowell "was to aim at my heart which was removed many years ago after I identified it as the seat of 'feelings' which interfered with my business decisions".

"B-but" stutters Rikki "isn't that also where the soul is?"

"Ah', says Louis " but he's never had one of those ... Have you Simon?"

Simon smiles ...
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Old 07-11-2009, 16:00
carolineglasgow
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Just then, Simon's mobile rings. He looks down to see a big smiling Afro looking at him. Simon goes to answer the phone as Rikki turns on his heels to make a getaway, but he instead bangs into the left hand side of Cheryl's dress and is thrown to the floor.

Simon casts a smiling glance at Rikki; he'll keep. "Jamie! How great to hear from you. I'm glad you called as Louis and I were just talking about your song choice for next week. We think that "Oops, I did it again" would really work for you... you have the technical ability to pull it off, especially if we set Brian to work on a good dance routine." The Simon freezes...... this cannot be true! But it is!...... in front of him he sees................
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Old 07-11-2009, 16:02
buenoshermanos
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There is a terrible secret that Jamie has been hiding since this whole sorry X Factor saga began, but he can no longer hide the awful truth from Simon.
**Screen dissolves to flashback**.

a woman with tousled hair is lying sensuously on a silk-sheeted bed.

A Voice comes from the bathroom

"Yes, it always is amazing with me so I'm not surprised you should say so. But you seemed so nervous beforehand"

The woman hesitates and then coyly responds "I was afraid you would think I was ... average"

Cowell (for tis he) enters the room, places his hands on the woman's shoulders looks her deeply in the eyes and says :

"Jamelia Afro! No-one could ever call that average" ...
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Old 07-11-2009, 19:45
buenoshermanos
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Just then, Simon's mobile rings. He looks down to see a big smiling Afro looking at him. Simon goes to answer the phone as Rikki turns on his heels to make a getaway, but he instead bangs into the left hand side of Cheryl's dress and is thrown to the floor.

Simon casts a smiling glance at Rikki; he'll keep. "Jamie! How great to hear from you. I'm glad you called as Louis and I were just talking about your song choice for next week. We think that "Oops, I did it again" would really work for you... you have the technical ability to pull it off, especially if we set Brian to work on a good dance routine." The Simon freezes...... this cannot be true! But it is!...... in front of him he sees................
A woman, who he immediately appraises as not up to his taxing physical standards now but who certainly would have been when she was in her prime (which he assesses to have been the case 28 years and 4 months ago).

But he has no time for the past ..."Excuse me but do I know you" he asks, coldly

With a quivering lip and a sad smile the lady responds

"Once upon a time I thought you did" ...



... "Does the afro mean nothing?"
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