Lizzy, I do like your attempts to restore reason! Here are my thoughts on the remaining few...
Joe
My favourite and has been since the first live show. He's just got such an epic voice and I think he's got the talent, as well as the looks, to bring a breath of fresh air to the music scene in this country. We need a new, vocally exceptional, male solo singer in the George Michael mould and Joe fits this perfectly.
Some people say he doesn't have the X factor (note the lower-case f!) but I think he does, in spades. His voice is very charismatic and instantly recognisable.
He also clearly has no idea just how beautiful he is, which is really lovely - there doesn't seem to be any arrogance there at all.
Danyl
Again, massively charismatic but has been sort of torpedoed by the production and the inconsistent 'angle'. His audition looked like a party piece to me, with lots of tricksiness and gimmickry, and I didn't think he performed well at all during the live shows, until this week when he really impressed me with Purple Rain. If Yvie is spending time training him she's doing a good job as he seems to have wrestled control of his voice and is starting to perform like a real singer.
It's so shallow I can barely bring myself to mention it but the haircut really, really helped!
Jamie
My opinion on him has varied, probably more than with anyone else. I didn't like his audition, as I thought he sounded just like what he was trying not to be - a pub singer. But Hurt was a masterpiece and probably one of the best performances, of any of the finalists, this year so far. Subsequently, though, he seems to have gone back to the Big Book of Pub Rock Songs and it's all been a bit 'will-this-do'.
Crying could have been brilliant but it seemed a bit all over the place to me - he went for the wallop too quickly, in my view.
Stacey
A voice in search of a popstar. Again, disappointing as before the lives she was one of my favourites. Seems to have floundered a bit since the first couple of live shows and the whole 'rabbit in the headlights' thing isn't going to work in a post-X Factor world.
Olly
Since 'prime Essex beef'-gate I have had trouble keeping my food down with this one. I think he's good, but he got good quick and now needs to do something new. By which I mean sing something that was written since the millennium.
I also think, sadly, that he's an ideal Saturday night TV person, but not exactly cutting edge in the wider musical world. He sits halfway between Robbie Williams and Will Young but he's not as good as either of them.
Lloyd
Poor Lloyd. Worst song choices in history! This boy is not Justin Timberlake so please stop trying to force him down that road! He had a lovely voice during the auditions and judges' houses but it hasn't been allowed out since the lives started.
He also suffers from nerves, quite clearly (well, he is only 16!) and it means that he looks nervous on stage a lot of the time. And when he's nervous, we're nervous watching him.
John and Edward
It's difficult to be constructive with this one. I actually think there's an unfair game being played here (with them being in the competition, I mean, not on the forum) and they're the butt of a joke which hasn't quite had its punchline played yet.
They're not singers. We can all see that. Thing is, I'm not sure that they're really entertainers either. Everything they do is based around the 'joke' of ineptitude combined with huge production numbers. But it's becoming increasingly clear that they can't seem to get their heads round things like stage position, remembering cues and cameras, lines. If they can't do that then they're not going to make it in kids' TV either, where although it all looks chaotic and noisy, actually behind the scenes is some of the most tightly-run stuff going. And to do something really badly so that it's consistently funny, you have to actually be able to do it really well - Les Dawson playing the piano springs to mind (YouTube it, he was hilarious).