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Woman in our street keeps trying to claim my cat
The Wizard
Posts: 11,071 Forum Member
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I don't know how to approach this but the old woman who lives 4 houses away keeps encouraging my cat into her house.
A few months ago she made a comment to us as we were leaving our house saying she really liked my cat and it was 'unfair cos we had 3 cats and she didn't have any.' At the time I just shrugged it off. A few weeks later she told me she was concerned that my cat was coming round her house so I asked if she was encouraging it and she admitted to feeding it. She hasn't got a cat flap so the only way it can get in is if she lets it in herself. I've already asked her not to feed it. It's not her cat. We pay the vet bills and pay for fleaing and worming and she's also on a strict diet. She said she was concerned that she looked under weight but it's a naturally small cat and not supposed to be big. In fact the vet has told up we need to watch her weight cos at one point she was being overfed (not by us) I told her that if she didn't want it coming round then to stop encouraging it.
2 weeks ago I was walking behind her and I overheard her telling someone that it was her cat then later that evening she came round our house asking me if I could keep her in the house cos it had started following her to the shops. Again I told her to stop encouraging it.
Today she knocked on our door asking me if she comes in at night cos she spends all day round her house. I told her that she does come in at night and is also microchipped and again I told her I didn't want her letting it in her house. I told her that if she comes round to just send her out the house cos it's not her cat and we'll look after it.
This is getting annoying now and I don't know what to do or how to tell her to stop without falling out with her but it appears she's got a guitly conscience about it but at the end of the day my cat is my responsibilily not hers and if she wants a cat of her own she should go and get her own, not try and rehouse mine. My girlfriend is fed up with it and we're worried that she's trying to claim her for herself.
I'm also concerned that because she hasn't got a cat flap that she could end up getting trapped in her house not able to get out. If she goes out or if something happenes to the old woman (like if she collapses) while my cat's in her house she'll end up trapped in there.
I've asked her several times politely not to encourage her but I don't know what to do now cos she won't stop. But then she keeps moaning as us when it won't leave her alone.
A few months ago she made a comment to us as we were leaving our house saying she really liked my cat and it was 'unfair cos we had 3 cats and she didn't have any.' At the time I just shrugged it off. A few weeks later she told me she was concerned that my cat was coming round her house so I asked if she was encouraging it and she admitted to feeding it. She hasn't got a cat flap so the only way it can get in is if she lets it in herself. I've already asked her not to feed it. It's not her cat. We pay the vet bills and pay for fleaing and worming and she's also on a strict diet. She said she was concerned that she looked under weight but it's a naturally small cat and not supposed to be big. In fact the vet has told up we need to watch her weight cos at one point she was being overfed (not by us) I told her that if she didn't want it coming round then to stop encouraging it.
2 weeks ago I was walking behind her and I overheard her telling someone that it was her cat then later that evening she came round our house asking me if I could keep her in the house cos it had started following her to the shops. Again I told her to stop encouraging it.
Today she knocked on our door asking me if she comes in at night cos she spends all day round her house. I told her that she does come in at night and is also microchipped and again I told her I didn't want her letting it in her house. I told her that if she comes round to just send her out the house cos it's not her cat and we'll look after it.
This is getting annoying now and I don't know what to do or how to tell her to stop without falling out with her but it appears she's got a guitly conscience about it but at the end of the day my cat is my responsibilily not hers and if she wants a cat of her own she should go and get her own, not try and rehouse mine. My girlfriend is fed up with it and we're worried that she's trying to claim her for herself.
I'm also concerned that because she hasn't got a cat flap that she could end up getting trapped in her house not able to get out. If she goes out or if something happenes to the old woman (like if she collapses) while my cat's in her house she'll end up trapped in there.
I've asked her several times politely not to encourage her but I don't know what to do now cos she won't stop. But then she keeps moaning as us when it won't leave her alone.
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Comments
1. Tell her straight if she keeps feeding your cat when she has been warned it has dietary requirements you will report her to the RSPCA for animal abuse as she is knowingly harming the wellbeing of your cat.
2. Tell her as she is unable to control herself, you are being forced to keep the cat in now and hope that after a week or so, she adopts someone else's pet.
3. Offer to help her find a local shelter and adopt a cat of her own
I prefer 3, but a few ideas for you.
The above posters cat shelter advice is good.
BTW OP you live in the weirdest place!
Your dead right. My mum popped round for a coffee and overheard everything that was said. As soon as I closed the door my mum said, 'What a nutcase. She's trying to pinch your cat and you need to watch her cos she's not a full shilling.'
I really do think I live in a street full of complete and utter fruityloops. When we move from here i'm definitely not gonna live anywhere near senile old nutcases.
So the old sad lady is encouraging your cat but the cat is encouraging the old lady.
The cat has found a lifestyle that suits it fine so unless its health is suffering, I'd just let it get on with it.
I can of course see why the situation is a bit annoying though.
Why should I pay £45 for a cat, pay £50 to have it spayed, £15 to have it microchipped then pay for yearly vaccinations and monthly worming and fleaing just so someone else can claim her for herself. She's telling everyone it's hers when it isn't and I can prove it isn't cos It's chipped and I have all the papers to prove it.
A few weeks ago I had to take her to the vets cos she wouldn't stop being sick and I think it could be because someone had been feeding her. She can only eat dry food as wet food gives her a bad tummy and a runny backside but when the vet asked me what she'd been eating I couldn't tell them cos I explained that this woman had been feeding her. They told me not to allow it but other than tell her not to I don't know how to stop her. I've a good mind to send her the vets bill with a letter saying, 'If your so adamant in looking after her then you can pay the vet bills.'
The fact is it's not her cat so she shouldn't be encouraging into her house. It can't get in unless she lets it in. We have 2 cats that live next door and occasionally one comes in if I leave the door open but I chase it out again cos it shouldn't be in here. It's not my cat and it's not my right to let it into my house. You wouldn't do this with children would you?
Perhaps keep your cats indoors for a couple of weeks. If the cat breaks the bond with the neighbour and vice versa maybe that will help.
If it's just a question of 'ownership', I'd say you are on a hiding to nothing cos cats tend to choose for themselves. But if this arrangement is affecting your cat's health, then you need to spell this out clearly to the old lady. If she still doesn't get it, then offer to transfer 'ownership' with all the financial obligations concerned.
I'd give that a shot. We had a cat that visited a older lady down the road, when we moved we offered to let her keep the cat as she spent a lot of time there and didn't get on with our other cat. She wasn't interested, the idea of actually having to pay for her didn't appeal at all.
Although she did ask if should visit the cat at our new home!
I've just managed to find her sitting outside this lady's house and picked her up and took her home. I've locked the cat flap but it's really not fair on my other 2 cats. I either have to leave the cat flap open and let then all go out or lock all 3 in which just isn't fair. The cat in question has always been an outside cat so it's not fair locking her in just cos some old woman can't control herself.
I've a good mind to write her a note explaining my concerns and make it clear that she's microchipped so if she goes missing I will be able to prove it's mine and she will be the first person I'll come looking for should anything happen to her. I'll also say that if she continues to let in her house and lock it in against my or the cat's wishes i'll be contacting the RSPCA as i've specificly asked her not to and if she wants a cat of her own i'll advise her where to get one but she can't have mine. If she still doesn't stop I will take matters further if she keeps feeding it and I will be forwarding the vets bills onto her in future as I will be holding her joint responsible for anything that happens to her. She doesn't like being locked in and I think the only reason she's in her house all day is because she can't get out.
OP, only thing you can do is explain to the neighbour that her feeding the cat is affecting the cat's health and demand she stops feeding it. As soon as she stops feeding the cat the visits will stop, you can be pretty sure of that.
I'm sure the cat will adapt. I don't see wh it's essential for you to have a cat flap anyway. My parents never did. The cats we had always meowed to get back in.
The cat is not ill. There is no reason why the cat shouldn't go out, it is the old lady that risks making the cat sick.
Some rehoming centres insist on cat flaps. they are not "essential" but they are a lot better for cat and owner.
Really? My parents cat doesn't go out that much. They like to know where she is so they just let her out in the day for a bit. Couldn't fit a cat flap into our doors anyway.
Well, the place we got ours did. They will only give cats to families that don't live on a main road or have young kids and who intend to spay and fit a cat-flap and have a garden.
Maybe they are particularly dictatorial and this is not standard.
I think the point though in this case is that it is pretty harsh to take that freedom away from a cat that is used to it (a cat that has never had one would never know any different)
Let's hope that when you get old you don't go senile and take a shine to a neighbour's cat, eh?
Let's face it, the cat likes her than it likes you!
Completely agree.
Cats are not robotic! They form attachments just like dogs do. Anyone who says that cats do not get attached to humans doesn't know what they're talking about. Maybe if you paid as much love and attention to your cat as this 'senile old nutcase' does then it wouldn't want to live with her instead.
I also find your attitude to the elderly quite shocking. We'll all age one day, and not all of us will retain all our mental capacity. Some people do go senile and that is a fact of life. If your cat makes her happy, let her keep it that way.
I am not suggesting you let her keep the cat. I think you should invite her round to your house, make her a cup of tea and calmly explain why you dislike her attachment to your cat. I suggest you do not mention that your dislike is solely based on money.
No matter how old I get i'll never lay claim to someone elses pets. She may like the cat but that doesn't give her the right to claim it for herself.
And what makes you think cos it spends the day round her house that it prefers her to me? She's comes in at evening time and she's here with me now and it's not cos she wants feeding. If anything my cat is here now cos she wants to be not cos she's being bribed with food. The lounge door is open and so is th cat flap. She can leave anytime she likes unlike when she's led into the old lady's house where she can't leave until someone lets her out.
Ever thought the reason she's round there all day is because the woman refuses to let her back out? If that was someones child I think you'd have a very different opinion.
Sorry I didn't mean to sound shallow but I thought that bit went without saying. I love my cats like i'd love my own children. Your absolutely right. And just like kids, i'd be pretty pissed off if I was their parent who'd raised them and given them my love and attention and some random stranger decided to take them into their house every day, feed them and start telling people they were hers. Sorry but she might be sad and lonely but she should get her own cat in that case. Not think she can hijack mine when it suits her. You wouldn't do this with someone's dog would you?
Cats might follow people but so do kids. Does that mean if a woman who can't have kids invites a child into her house and then goes round telling everyone that the child is hers is excusable? Just because it's an animal doesn't make it any more acceptable in my eyes. My cats are like my children. They're all I have right now and i'd never forgive anyone if anything were to happen to them.
The most annoying part about this is, she only want my cat when it suits her then when she can't get rid of her or finds she keeps following her up the road, she's round my house banging on my door asking me if I can keep her in. Sorry but you can't encourage an animal when it suits you then expect it to know when you've had enough. A pet is a full time responsibility which is why thats OUR job not hers.
Shame you refer to the cat in question as 'it' then throughout this thread.
I did that intentionally so people would know when I was talking about my cat and not the woman when I was saying 'She.' It was to avoid confusion and not cos I'm refering to her as an object.