As Chris and Ola are now certain to win SCD the only thing left to decide is what Team Cola's victory speech shall be.

Bhoy and Mrs Bhoy have been mulling over a few speeches for Mr Collins & Mrs Jordan and have come up with one that goes something like this.

"My dear fellow dancers, as I speak to you this evening, at this time which, as everyone understands, is exceptional in a man's life, I feel enormous, sincere, deep emotion. From a very young age I have felt incredible pride at the thought belonging to a great, an old, and old Institution like SCD

I love SCD as you love someone dear, someone that has given me everything. Now it is my turn to give back to SCD what SCD has given me...

My thoughts are with Ms Bastian... I want to tell her that I have respect for her and for her ideas in which so many SCD people saw their own ideas reflected. Respecting Ms Bastian is respecting the millions of SCD viewers who voted for her.

As the winner of SCD I must and I do love all the judges whatever their opinions.

My thoughts therefore go to all of the SCD viewers who did not vote for me. I want to tell them that beyond the differences of opinion, for me there is only one SCD. I want to tell them that I will be the champion of all the DS Community, that I will speak for each one of them. I want to tell them that this evening it is not just a victory for me but for all SCD viewers everywhere in this great land of ours.

The SCD people have spoken and have chosen to make a break with the ideas, the customs and the behaviour of the past. I am thus going to restore the status of dance, standards, respect, merit. I am going to give the place of honour back to this show.I am going to give back to the SCD people pride in this great programme of ours.

The SCD people have opted for change. I shall be implementing this change I shall do it in a spirit of unity and in a spirit of fraternity. I shall do it in such a way that no one is left with the feeling of being excluded, of being left to one side.

I call on all viewers, irrespective of their beliefs, their origins, to join with me to ensure that SCD gets moving again.

I want to issue an appeal to our Reality TV partners, to whom our destiny is profoundly linked, to tell them that my whole life I have been a Reality TV fan, that I believe deeply, that I believe sincerely in Reality TV , and that tonight SCD is back in on top of the Reality TV tree. But I entreat our Reality TV partners to hear the voice of the people who want to be protected from these great shows being on our screens at the same time.

I want to issue an appeal to our XF friends, to tell them that they can count on our friendship, which has been forged in history which we have faced together.

I want to tell them that SCD will always be by their side when they need it, but I also want to tell them that friendship means accepting that your friends may think differently and that a great programme such as the XF has a duty not to put obstacles in the way of the fight against entertainment, but on the contrary to take the lead in this fight, because what is at stake is the fate of Saturday Night Entertainment as a whole. Team Cola will make this battle its primary battle.

I want to issue a call to all the followers of Big Brother to tell them that it is in Great Britain that everything is going to be played out. I want to tell them that the time has come to build together a Reality TV union that will form a link between SCD,XF and Big Brother.

What was done for the union of TV 60 years ago, we are going to do today for the union of the Reality TV of the new decade.

I want to issue a call to all Sports News Readers, a brotherly call, to tell that we want to help them, to help Bruce Forsyth & Simon Cowell to to live in peace. I want to tell them that we are going to work together on decisions concerning a policy of controlled ambitious development of this great union of Reality TV.

Finally I want to issue a call to everyone on SCD who believes in the show I want to tell all of the dancers throughout the world, I want to tell them that it will be Team Cola's pride and its duty to be at their side.

Team Cola will be at the side of the dancers. Team Cola will not abandon Bruce Forsyth.Team Cola will not abandon Craig Kelly in his Blackpool hotel .Team Cola will not abandon Alisha who do not have support of all on this show. Team Cola will find Arlene and bring her back.Team Cola will always be on the side of the viewers. This is Team Cola's message, it is Team Cola's identity, it is Team Cola's mission to achieve all of this and make you all proud in your new SCD champions."

Do you all agree that this is what they should say in their victory speech

You do make the strangest of threads but this one did make me laugh, a little bit. But he is certainly not my champion.

He will do you proud if he wins the whole show.He will honour his promises and make a great champion for the year of his crown

Haha what the hell! I will acknowledge him as winner if he is the best in the final. Otherwise I shall not. So, how much money are you going to win from this bet you've made the whole forum aware of?

Oh my word what an epic! Bhoy you clearly have far to much time on your hands

Hopefully he won't feel tempted to utter such drivel if he wins...

*still wondering why Bhoy disturbingly talks about himself in the third person* (has he ever heard of narcissism?)

I also think he should make a special note of thanks to you Bhoy1888!

If Chris reads that out when will the dancing take place exactly?

And the verbal diarrhoea doesn't even allow for Ola getting a word in.

Who's this 'Mr Collins' you've scripted so passionately (and lengthily) for?

Very funny - I think Bhoy lives on Planet Bhoy and is actually The Queen's Speech Writer or he could even be Prince Charles in disguise. The speech sounded very Prince Charles like. . Is Mrs Bhoy none other than Camilla Parker Bowles!

It's a dancing remake of Pride and Prejudice.

At the end of the declaration, Ola's going to say, "Thanks but no thanks," and throw the glitterball back in his face.

Then Chris will do a dramatic U-turn and decide to dance with Lilia on the Christmas special.

Laughing - very quick and witty! There isn't an 'applauding' icon, so here - have a rose! @-->--

Have the BBC prepared a glittery little soap box for Chris to stand on?

I couldn't even read the speech after being stunned to discover that there is a Mrs Bhoy willing to put up with such drivel on a regular basis...

I think the BBC should let him have some sort of platform for the last 5 minutes of the show as I know Mr Hollins will want to say a few thank yous to his loyal fans

Sorry but I think this requires a gentle bump as I think its almost certain he will need this speech now

That's the second time you've bumped your own thread. Get some manners.

I just thought some people may not have seen Chris's victory sheet before.sorry

No. He should say:

"I am extremely embarrassed that I am the worst dancer and I am standing here because of the public vote. I apologise to all my fellow contestants who were miles better than me but were sacrificed on the alter of the GBP.

I know I have ruined the show for many and that Ali and Zoe, for example should be here instead of me. But - hey, tomorrow's the rest of my career, folks!!"

Cue for the audience to pelt him with rotten eggs.

Ricky for the Win!!

Maybe Darren Gough and Tom Chambers should have said that too