*backs into Whoonie Inn door and pushes it open with a large rear end

*
*phew.....grrunnnntt.....sheeeesh..... heeeavvvvvyyyyy!*
hey Nat, Reg, get your Ood backsides over here please...can't lift these all on my own!
*brings three overly large crates into Whoonie Inn bar area*
Whoonies!!

look what I have just bought!!
*starts opening crates*
I was dahn de market the other day and met this geezer called Derek Tratter? Tritter? Tretter?
oh yeah! Trotter!
and he sold me these really cheap bargains to adorn our beeyootiful Whoonie Inn!
Aren't they festive?!
*pushes forward a very large Christmas tree*
this is great, this tree! look - the middle spins around and around, to make it easier when we put the lights, baubles, candy canes, and choccy deccies on!
it will look sooooooooo nice, I can tell you!
*opens second crate*
and look - these would look soooooo funny either at the bar, or at the door standing next to Big Steve or we could even put one in the Whoonie Inn Gent's lavvy, standing next to the loo
*reveals large Father Christmas figures*
they have REAL PLASTIC FACES!!
and last but not least *opens third crate*
here we have......
a set of Angels....after all, we do need a bit of religious symbolism going on - it is Christmaaaaaaaaaassss!
Mr Trotter told me that that Angels' faces are made of real fake gold! and their wings are synthetic leather look

and they can talk!! whooooo!!
ooh it's so exciting!!
right! who's coming over to help?
*chucks tinsel garlands over to Dgem.....gives choccy decs to hang on branches to Gareth AND NO SLY EATING OF THEM EITHER!!...and where's Hammy?? need them to check the lights for me....and Big Steve can put this lovely Star to go on the top of the tree*
sorted!
*gets busy....*