Eugene-6 sat alone on a plastic chair glumly holding an early morning cup of coffee. The seat was cold and uncomfortable and with a sigh he shifted his position for the fiftieth time and looked around studying his surroundings. He was in a large circular room which was divided into various segments. The segments included a kitchen area, an eating area resembling a supermarket café, where he was currently sitting, a more comfortable lounge area and a walled off garden. Ten passageways led away from the main room, each with a large number from 1 to 10 painted onto the wall next to the entrance.

The only other people present were some of the Rappers from da Hood who were lounging around on the sofas. Cairon-10, Science-6 and Spiral-7 were involved in a vaguely homoerotic play fight, whilst Alexandra-9 was sitting cross armed, and purse lipped, her face resembling a particularly violently slapped arse. Eugene-6 was glad she looked more relaxed then usual.

Eugene-6 took another sip of his coffee closed his eyes and tried to remember how he got here. He was completely unsuccessful. This place was all he could remember, before this there was just ….. nothing.

His contemplations were interrupted by a cheery voice. “Morning Obi-Wan, I think I’ve finally cracked it”. With a quick internal cringe Eugene-6 looked up to see Jon-4 standing over him waving a strange contraption with looked like a metallic snooker ball in his hand. Jon-4 smacked it down on the table in front of Eugene-6, pulled up a seat and sat down. “An automatic personal waker”, he continued enthusiastically, “an electronic internal clock, when it reaches a certain time it makes a beeping noise. If you have one of these you’ll never oversleep again.” Eugene-6 looked at the strange ball with a slightly bemused expression on his face. He could see no markings on its smooth surface.

“But Jon, isn’t it just an alarm clock?” he asked. A look of appalled realization crossed Jon-4’s face, but he quickly recovered. “Well yes, but it’s a unique alarm clock”, he countered.

“I suppose it is. It’s an alarm clock which doesn’t actually tell the person using it the time”, replied Eugene-6, once again scouring the surface for any indication of a clock face.

“Wow, what’s that dudes?” came a third voice and Freddie-10 approached carrying a tray full of herbal tea and organic bran with added mushrooms. Jon-4 quickly explained his new concept.

“Cool”, enthused Freddie-10, “when we get out of here we can start a co-operative company and mass produce them. Forget Ben and Jerry’s, we can be Jon and Freddie’s”

“But Freddie it’s just ….” began Eugene-6, but seeing the look of joy on Freddie-10’s face he thought better of it, “ …. oh, never mind.”

Then a female voice entered the conversation. It had a uniquely shrill quality to it. Like a time displaced Velociraptor about to feast on a bus full of toddlers. Eugene-6 cringed again. He had thought he had managed to escape Alexandra-9’s notice, but no good thing lasts for ever.

“Well lookee here crew, we have us a geeks meeting! What say you that we just take that shiny thing, cos then it’ll be my stuff, and you can’t touch my stuff. Can you geeks?” The other three rappers began laughing and playfully push each other towards the Geeks.

Alexandra-9 smiled, and Eugene-6 briefly remembered an interesting documentary he saw about alligators. He felt the weight of the ball in his hand and wondered briefly if it was heavy enough to know Alexandra-9 cold, but as it happened luck was with him and another voice rang out.

“Why don’t you just nick some sweets from a little kid sister?” said Victor-5, who had just entered. “Slickman!” yelled Cairon-10, and gave him a high five. The others mulled over towards Victor-5. Alexandra-9 gave Eugene-6 a cold stare, “You lucky today geeks, memba make tha most.” She then joined her friends protesting “Slickman, I was just joking yo.”

“The communal area will close for cleaning. Please return to your home areas!” rang out a voice over the tannoy system. Everyone jumped to attention and started to head off in separate directions. Eugene-6 sighed and brought up the rear. Just as he was about to head away to world 6 he turned his head to make sure he hadn’t left anything.

And he saw a most amazing sight. There was a flash of light and a stunning woman dressed in a form fitting silver suit materialised out of nowhere, her back towards him. She then seemed to fiddle with something on her belt and disappeared again! Eugene-6 did a double take. “Did I actually see that, or am I going completely crazy” he thought to himself as he trudged up the passageway to the nightmare he called home.


Next episode – Strange New Worlds

I'm not ready for this....

Episode 2 – Strange New Worlds

The world was all white, without form or consistency, and PBK was convinced that she was dead and floating in the void. But slowly spots of colour started emerging, these spots slowly coalesced into shapes, and then took on substance. Slowly the world solidified around her and she found herself in a strange place she didn’t recognise. Stunned momentarily she realised that she had reached her destination. “S**t. S**t. S**t” she thought to herself and fumbled at her belt searching for the on switch to her light bending unit. Finally she found it and clicked it on. The light around her bent around her body and she was effectively rendered invisible.

Her heart pounding she flicked on her CommUnit. “Sparky do you copy” she whispered. There was no response. “Sparky it’s PBK, respond please” she repeated, again there was no response except a quick burst of static. “Thrice s**t plus one” she thought, “that was f**king stupid. A blind insertion like that and I could’ve ended up anywhere. I could have materialised in someone’s f**king shower for the sake of He”. With a tinge of bitterness she remembered her history, “A shower! The primitives of this era actually had enough water to wash themselves in, and what do they choose to do with the supply? They choose to pour raw sewage into it and poison it. No f**king surprise they nearly died out. If they had any idea what was coming ….”

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply and her heart rate slowly returned to normal. She made a quick assessment of her situation. She had been lucky, there didn’t appear to be anyone around. She had materialised inside a large circular room with ten exits placed evenly around the walls. She was surrounded by strange red objects made out of a red synthetic polymer substance, they felt cold, hard and uninviting. From their shape PBK deduced that they were some form of sitting furniture. “They sat on those? No the wonder they wanted to poison themselves.”

She reached into her belt again and pulled out a strange implement with a long dagger like blade protruding from the bottom. With a powerful lurch she plunged it into the wall. A black circuit outline appeared around the hit of the blade. “Working” came a flat metallic voice.

“Come on, come on. Where are you?” PBK muttered impatiently. As if in response the metallic voice emerged again. “Located, subject designate Rice, Rachel. Location subroutine nine. Proceed with caution.”

PBK looked around her and saw the entrance corridor with nine painted on it. She moved to retrieve the dagger but before she could do so the metallic voice sounded again. “Warning. He is here.”

PBK paused. “He?” she asked

“Affirmative. He.”

“Stupid cow”, thought PBK, “of course He will be here. How the hell could I have forgotten that”. She pulled the dagger out of the wall and placed it back into her belt. She then straightened her silver catsuit. “Must make myself presentable in case I bump into He”, she thought bitterly, “I wouldn’t want to meet the supreme being shoddily dressed.” With that thought she stalked off towards the direction of World 9.

Next Episode – The Fairytale Kingdom

I am most decidedly not ready for this.

Its back?I am literally like this:

If anyone missed the "preludes" to this, they start over here, post no. 368:

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s...129064&page=15

Episode 3 – The Fairytale Kingdom

Fairy Queen Rachel rolled her hoop to Princess Kat and giggled. Both were wearing long pink frilly dresses topped off with long pink pointy pink hats with two long red ribbons trailing out of the point. They were playing on top if a large tower which was part of a pink castle set in a green field. The weather above was lovely, bright blue skies with only the odd fluffy cloud to spoil the view. Rachel sighed contentedly and waited for the return of the hoop. Her game was interrupted by a cough at the doorway.

“What can I do for you banquet-master Rex?” asked Rachel cheerily.

“Sorry to interrupt you when your so ….. busy, ma’am. But I have to inform you that supplies are running a bit low again” said Rex. He is dressed in leather breeches with knee length socks and a silk shirt. There are a few dried animal blood stains on his shirt.

At this news Rachel stops playing. “Are you sure Rex, we only had a delivery two days ago?”

“I’m quite sure ma’am. We are down to three chickens, some tins of tuna, four bags of horse feed and 500 Pot Noodles.”

“Hmmm. That’s most strange. Where is my chancellor?” ponders Rachel, she claps her hands twice, “Chancellor! Chancellor!”

Luke appears, almost as if he melts from out of the shadows, he is dressed like Rex only he wears a black tailed coat over his shirt and wears a white powdered wig on his head. He bows so deeply that his forehead almost cracks on the floor.

“I am, as always, completely at your service ma’am” he says. His voice has the smooth edge of honey running down glass.

“The banquet-master tells us we’re running short of supplies Chancellor. Can you shed any light on this?”

Without missing a beat Luke replies. “It is the foul greedy one Mohammed ma’am. He eats food like shopoholic spends a lottery win. Perhaps you would reconsider my proposal to place him in the stocks ….. or at the very least banish him from the kingdom.”

At this suggestion both Kat and Rex cry in protest. “You can’t do that he’s my fwen” cries Kat, whilst Rex snaps, “What a load of rubbish Luke, Mo doesn’t eat more than anyone else”.

Luke feigns a hurt look and turns to Rachel. “But I have always advised you in the best interests of the Kingdom ma’am. Have I not always been a good chancellor and responded to your every whim? Surely by now you trust humble Luke to do what is best.”

“Oh don’t be silly Luke” responds Rachel, “I’m not going to exile Mo. I want you to work on this with Rex and get to the bottom of it …. but if you do see Mo on your travels please tell him that I’m very very very disappointed in him. Chop chop.” And with that she turns to Kat, “Lets have a game of conkers” she says and they stroll off arm in arm laughing.

Luke watches her leave through narrowed eyelids shaking his head almost imperceptibly. Rex walks up behind him. “Well. You heard the lady little ru ….. sorry chancellor. Lets get to work” he says sharply, and they both head out through the door and follow a spiral staircase down to the kitchen.

Next Episode – Who plots Ragnarok?

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa!

3 in 1 day !

Way to go


Love the idea of Jon and Freddies over Ben and Jerries ROTFLLLLL!!

Hmm. What are you angling for here, COZL? Marks out of ten for composition?

Episode 4 – Who Plots Ragnarok?

As they reached the bottom of the spiral staircase Rex turned right into the kitchen. He turned but found Luke wasn’t behind him as he expected, returning to the doorway he looked down the corridor and saw Luke strolling off towards his office.

“I thought Rachel asked us both to audit the food Luke” he called.

“I’m the democratically elected chancellor Rex, and I’m making an executive decision to delegate the responsibility to you alone. Enjoy counting your tins of beans.”

“Ah yes. The election. I remember that. Rebecca was the returning officer wasn’t she, and by a staggering co-incidence all except two of the ballots, yours and hers I believe, got ‘accidentally’ burned. And hey presto you are elected with 100% approval.”

“Our beloved Queen Rachel was convinced it was a tragic oversight and the result was fair”

“Rachel is convinced that Santa Claus exists, there is a pixie called Norman living on her garden, and that underneath it all Alexandra is actually a decent person”

“Take that up with her then. I believe she’s currently banging together horse chestnuts with Kat. You’ve always wanted to do that with Rachel. In a manner of speaking.”

Luke continued on towards his office door as he opened it he noticed that Rex was still staring at him with a narrowed gaze. “Do you have something to add cook?” he asked acidly.

“Not really. I was just thinking that I would love to be able to buy you for what you’re actually worth and sell you for what you think your worth.”

“You couldn’t afford me in either scenario” snapped Luke and he banged his door shut. He leaned against it for a moment listening, and when he was convinced Rex wasn’t listening we reached underneath his desk and flicked a switch. A concealed door slid backwards revealing boxes full of food. He quickly loaded tow boxes onto a wheelbarrow and headed out through another door which lead to the dungeons. When he arrived he took out a large key and unlocked it from the outside.

In truth the phrase dungeon was probably misleading because the rooms were luxurious with large comfortable feather beds, a well stocked fridge, a jacuzzi and swimming pool, and a large walled off gardened area with sun loungers. Dale, Jennifer, Stuart, Sylvia, Dennis, and Rebecca lounged around soaking up a few rays.

Luke looked around with distaste, despite the comfortable surroundings litter was beginning to gather as none of his Trolls had yet deigned to clear anything up. Undeterred he went to a large cupboard an opened it. Belinda fell out, a look of terror on her face. “Clean” ordered Luke. “Ye …. ye …. yes sir” blubbered Belinda and scurried about cleaning up the mess.

Luke turned to his trolls. “You won’t believe what is happening up there” he said, producing just the right amount of outrage in his voice, “the evil queen is having a banquet with luxury food, and drink and entertainment, and she expects us to live on these morsels” He indicates to the two large boxes of food.

“That selfish bitch!” screams an incredulous Jennifer, “what have we ever done to her.” There is murmured agreement. Noticing Belinda for the first time she continues “Let me help you with that”. She then throws an empty orange peel at her feet where it was easy for her to pick up. “Th … th …. thank you” whispers Belinda and scurries away back to her cupboard.

“I have never seen such benevolent generosity beautiful Jennifer” cooed Luke, “you will make a far superior queen.” Jennifer beamed beatifically. “But we must be ready to move soon, our time is approaching”. With that he left the dungeon and carefully locked the door behind him before breaking down into fits of hysterical laughter.


Next Episode – Unlikely Alliances

Uncannily accurate, as ever.

I agree, spot on, uncanny

Wow I almost missed this..........excellent start Cult, thank god I noticed it.

Episode 5 – Unlikely Alliances

When the communal area was opened again Eugene walked casually over to the area where he had seen the strange woman earlier. There were other people milling around randomly chatting and laughing but they didn’t pay much attention to him. Thankful for this he carried out a quick inspection of the ground and walls. After he had finished he slumped down on a plastic chair and with a sigh started rubbing the back of his neck thoughtfully. “Well women appearing out of nowhere, and then just disappearing isn’t an everyday event even for this place,” he pondered, “well maybe for Pete-7, but not for me. Did I actually see it, or have I gone completely Shahbhaz?”

His meditations were interrupted by a familiar but unwelcome presence. “What are you doing here geek?” demanded Victor.

Eugene sighed. “Shouldn’t you be with you massive riding your flow?” he asked absentmindedly. Victor bristled, “Yo man why are you stereotyping me? Is it because I am black?”

“Not really. It’s more because you’re a bit of an arse”. As soon as he said it Eugene cringed internally and braced himself for an either physical or verbal onslaught. Victor looked furious, but restrained himself. “Show some respect ge …. I mean Eugene. It wasn’t me ragging you this morning it was Alexandra.”

Eugene felt guilty. Victor was right. “OK I’m sorry” he mumbled meekly.

“You’ve got to understand Alex”, Victor continued, “she hasn’t had much in the way of positive male role models I her life, so she tries to act like 50 cent”.

“Well I suppose if 50 cent was female, worked in sales, and lived in Croydon, she would be a dead ringer” replied Eugene, his attention wandering towards a spot on the wall.

At this Victor finally snapped. He grabbed Eugene by the arm twisting it behind his back and rammed him against the wall, not with great force, but just roughly enough to get his attention. He whispered in Eugene’s ear. “OK geek is this what you expected? The nasty big black gangster here to beat you up? Cos if that’s the way you want to do it we can. But I came here to talk. You weren’t the only one who was here at breakfast and saw something weird. Now I will ask again ….. politely. What are you doing here? What have you found?” With that Victor loosened his grip on Eugene.

Eugene looked into Victor’s dark eyes but saw only curiosity not anger. “OK” he said and indicted down to the sandy coloured carpet. There was a faint singe mark in the shape of a circle. Victor crouched down and ran his fingers around the outline. “It could have been made by anyone. A hot pan or a cigarette lighter I suppose?” he speculated.

“Maybe”, said Eugene, “but how do you explain this away? He walked to the wall and ran his hand down it, as his fingers passed over a small indentation a blue spark of electricity leaped from his hand and a black circuit pattern appeared on the wall for a fraction of a second. “The effect is getting weaker each time, soon it will stop altogether” he explained.

“Could it be some sort of static electricity thing?” asked Victor, his curiosity piqued.

“Not as I understand it. But I’m no expert” replied Eugene honestly. Then he smiled. “But”, he continued, “I know a man who is” …….


Next Episode – A Brief History of the Future – Part 1

Hee hee cant wait to see Ge er Eugene meet Jon !

Oooooooo 'citing stuff..........*settles down with a large bag of toffee Butterkist*

Episode 6 – A Brief History of the Future Part 1

PBK trudged gloomily along the passageway from world 9 towards the communal area. The day was just beginning and more and more people were milling around. Her light bending unit was still functioning perfectly and she remained completely invisible to them, but even so she tried to remain as quiet as possible and studiously avoided brushing past anyone else.

Any illusions which she might have held about this assignment being easy had been completely smashed. She had just been too world 9 to try to locate the first target and had been utterly bewildered by what she had seen. Quite apart from the completely bizarre layout of the world, the behaviour of its inhabitants was beyond her comprehension. She had quickly come to the conclusion that that guy Luke would probably betray anyone for something as useless as 100,000 round pieces of gold coloured cupro-nickel! PBK looked around her at the happy faces, well stocked fridges and comfortable temperatures and shrugged. “Well you really are a stranger here” she thought.

PBK suspected that these people came from an era were the general population still used currency. That was such a weird concept to her. Colourful pieces of paper which the people of this era used to horde, or exchange for useless objects! In her world currency had been abolished along with nation states when instantaneous transport to anywhere in the world had been perfected. With such complete freedom of movement, both things just became unnecessary.

The abolition of currency hadn’t changed the human condition of course. Avarice and greed remained as much a part of the average psyche as it was when the first caveman whacked a woolly mammoth over the head and horded the meat in exchange for sexual favours or brightly coloured stones. It only took different forms. When the global transportation system was set up, humans being human decided in their millions that the place they wanted to be were the tropical islands, with the beautiful weather and perfect beaches. Of course they all came, and brought with them their pollution, rubbish, and violence. Murders were committed over two square feet of beach sand. As a child PBK had dreamed of escaping from the dirty, overcrowded, crime ridden, Nassau sweat box she had been born in and longed for the cool air and refreshing rain of Bridlington on far away almost deserted Britannia Island.

Then the Commie War had started. PBK almost laughed at the irony. At some point she was likely to come face to face with He. What should she do? Fall to her knees in reverence? Or smack the f**ker in the mouth? PBK was from one of the last bastions of the non-commie world. What little she knew of the religion revealed it to be fairly normal messianic stuff. Possibly true-possibly mythical figure does great acts to “save the world”, then dies amid prophecy that one day they would rise again as saviour. Said Messianic figure develops followers who almost immediately commit acts of murder, warfare and brutality on the “infidels”, and who act in a way that was basically completely incompatible with the teachings of the messiah to begin with. Such had been the way of all chosen people since the ancient Egyptians first started worshipping Ra.

PBK withdrew her dagger implement again and walked over to the interface she had established. On the way she passed a dark skinned man and a light skinned who appeared to be deep in conversation. She plunged the dagger into the wall again and waited. Once again the metallic voice emerged. “Target identified designate Reade Sophie. Location subroutine 10.”

With a sigh PBK pulled the dagger from the wall and headed over to world 10 with renewed purpose.


Next Episode – The Binky Club

oooo glad someone remembers Sophie Reade LOLOL

Where's the Binky Club?

With LF so uneventful we could really benefit from the next instalment.

Episode 7 – The Binky Club

World 10 resembles a tropical island scene, several beach huts line a sandy area with a blue sea gently lapping at the edges. Loud Hawaiian music is being played through an old 1930’s gramophone. Sophie, Karly, Hira, Noirin, Bea and Charlie are all standing in a line waving their arms from side to side. They are doing a Hawaiian dance. They are dressed identically in white bikini tops and grass skirts, with flowered garlands hanging around their necks. Kenneth is watching intently, dressed only in knee length flowery Bermuda shorts. His hands are thrust into his pockets and he appears to be perfectly still, but an observant person can detect what appears to be a rhythmic tapping in his groinal area. As this goes on his shorts appear to get tighter and tighter.

Lisa is also watching the dance with great interest. But Sree, who is also close by is less than impressed.

“Noirin, I really think you should cover up. You can almost see your boobies. My parent’s won’t be impressed”, he grumbled.

“Leave ‘er alone Sree”, snaps Lisa, her voice betraying a little annoyance, “they’re enjoyin’ themselves. Arn’t ya Soph.”

At this Sophie giggles and nods her head, as she does this a blond false hair falls out of her head and nestles between her breasts. Sophie looks down and retrieves it, looks at it for a few seconds, and then begins giggling non-stop.

Lisa turns to Sree “See, told ya” she says. She shifts her position slightly and for a second a faint wet patch on the front of her shorts becomes visible.

“But Noirin is my wi …. sorry my friend, and she should respect herself” protests Sree. He grabs a large towel and tries to drape it over Noirin’s shoulders, but as he closes in Noirin swings her arm in time to the music and catches him right on the chin. Sree falls backwards and lands in a heap on his bottom in the sand. Nobody notices.

Just then the record ends and the dance stops. “Again. Again. Wheeeee!” squeals Sophie. Siavash is sitting next to the gramophone looking very bored. “Are you sure Sophie. It’s been twenty seven times now. How about a different record?”

“No. Again! Again!” Sophie giggles and with a sigh Siavash drops the needle on the record and the music starts again. Once more the girls begin to dance. This continues for a few minutes before Kenneth lets out an almost imperceptible high-pitched gasp. His face goes red and he runs away, bent over almost double as if trying to conceal something. Siavash watches him leave with vague interest and looks over to the beach huts. A washing line is tied between two of the structures, five pairs of freshly washed Bermuda shorts are hanging of it, in various stages of dampness. Siavash couldn’t remember there being any at all before the dancing started. He closes his eyes and sighs, trying to think of something interesting, but try as he might the only images that came into his mind were Bill Murray, Andie McDowell and a small grey rodent.

Had he been more observant he may have noticed some mysterious footprints leading away from the beach scene towards the exit. They paused briefly to look at another group of people lazing around under the shade of a beach umbrella, and then hurried off in the direction of World 6.


Next Episode – The Bad Guy Arrives

Where's Steve McGarrett when you need him, eh?

Episode 8 – The Bad Guy Arrives

In a deserted corner of the storage cupboard there was a blinding flash and another figure coalesced into view. It was a heavily built man with short dark hair and he was wearing combat fatigues. A vicious looking assortment of weapons dangled from a leather belt around his waist.

He looked around for a few seconds, blinking and taking in his new surroundings. Then he sank down onto one knee. Holding one hand against his forehead in a pose reminiscent of The Thinker he mumbled to himself, “Please be to He. Praise be to He who gives life and wisdom. I will obey He. All I have done and all I shall do shall be for He. He is wise. He is strong”.

With that he rose to his feet and looked around again. Suddenly he became aware of a pair of dark eyes watching him with curious interest. “Show yourself now, whoever lurks in the shadows” he bellowed and someone stepped forward. The new arrival looked him up and down , “What manner of creature are you?”, he demanded, “Are you He?”.

“No”, came the friendly heavily accented response, “I’m Sree. Pleased to meet you. Did the Big Boss send you? Are you a new inmate. This is very exciting. I’m sure we’ll be great friends.”

“I answer only to He.”

“He? Oh you mean the male BB! Is he on duty today? I much prefer the girl one she sounds very pretty. But wher are my manners”, Sree bowed deeply “Welcome to the madhouse. I must introduce you to my fiancée Noirin. She’s going to be my first lady you know. Did I tell you I was the President?”

“What are you babbling about? You are not He. Begone useless pissant.” With that the newcomer struck Sree across the cheek with a heavily armoured gauntlet and Sree went crashing into a shelf full of flour and baked beans. “How rude” he protested but the newcomer ignored his outrage and moved to the door.

He walked out into the corridor. There was no one about. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for the task ahead. His holy mission ordained by He was simple. He must locate the infidel and destroy her. He must use all means necessary to stop her from completing her mission. And, his instructions were quite clear on this, anyone who interfered with his holy mission was to be considered ….. expendable.

A cruel smile crossed his lips. He was wondering just how much interference he would encounter.


Next Episode – R2D2-C3PO

Ah, a ray of light (probably a reactor going into meltdown) on a drab, grey forum.

Sree doesn't seem to be having a very good time.

Episode 9 – R2D2-C3PO

Victor trudged glumly along the plain corridor following his two companions. It had been a weird sort of day. How the hell did he ever get in this predicament? He just wanted to kick back and chill with his boys, but instead he was here, following two geeks, just like Bex stalking Jedward. He glared at the back of the two men in front of him. Eugene was just about bearable, as long as he didn’t tell him any anecdotes, but the other guy! Oh man. “F**k this”, he thought gloomily, “maybe I should just leave it and head back”. After a pause he shrugged internally. “Who are you kidding slick”, he thought, “you saw what you saw, and if this is a new game from BB, the slickman wants to be ahead of the loop.” He quickened his pace to catch his two companions.

“Where we going?” he asked.

Jon, his second companion, turned to him and smiled mysteriously. “Oh just somewhere I’ve found which I think can help us with our little mystery? Patience Obi-Wan.”

“Stop it with the Star Wars s**t or I’ll stick your lightsabre right up your force” snapped Victor.

Presently they reached a button on the wall. Jon looked around quickly and pressed it twice. A door slid open and he ushered Victor and Eugene inside. It was a standard diary room. “I’ve already seem this” said Eugene.

“Ah then you have much to learn young Skywalker”, replied Jon. He grabbed the arm of the chair and pulled it back. Another door behind them slid open. It lead to a room full of monitors. In front of the monitors was a bank of control panels.

Jon immediately took control. He pointed to one of the monitors. “That’s the closest camera to this mornings little mystery” he said. “Eugene run the tapes from that time period”. Eugene complied. Victor in the meantime was looking around bemused. “What is this place?”, he asked.

“It’s some sort of monitoring station”, replied Jon, “I’ve never quite worked out what it’s for.”

“The tapes ready to run,” interrupted Eugene

The three gathered around the relevant monitor. Unfortunately the camera wasn’t quite aligned properly and all that was visible was a brief flare of light on the far edge of the screen.

“Useless!” griped Victor, “we can’t see anything.”

Jon smiled enigmatically. “All is not lost Obi-Wan” he replied “I have many more tricks up my sleeve.” He walked to the bank of control panels which were arranged on a four by four pattern. He pointed to the panel in the top left had corner. “Ok, we go right 2”, he said using his finger to count the panels, “down two, now we need column three, and we press button one.” With a flourish he pressed the corresponding button and the screen changed to a dark visage with red outlines.

“What’s that?” asked Victor.

“Infra-red,” replied Jon, “it follows heat signatures. Run the tape again Eugene”.

They gathered around the screen again. Once again they saw a brief flash, but this time an outline of a figure could be seen scurrying away. The infra-red made it possible to see beneath her clothes. She had a very fit well toned body. Nothing was left to the imagination.

“Now who is that?” asked Jon distractedly.

“Don’t know. But she’s a honey”, replied Victor. Then, after a pause. “And just how much time have you spent in here spying on naked people?”

Jon quickly changed to subject. “Well chaps it appears we have a very attractive invisible woman running about our house. The question is why.”

“How are we going to find her to ask?” mused Eugene, “Call Ghostbusters maybe?”

Jon turned to him with a wolfish smile on his face. “I really have no idea. But it should be fun trying.”

Next Episode – Wheels within wheels within wheels