Hi

just after a bit of advice please, never started a thread before so please be gentle with me, as some of you may know I had to get my cat Smokey pts last week, i will keep my question as brief as possible, on Tuesday night my husband and I agreed to have Smoket pts as we thought it would be the best for her after being in cat hospital and treatment not working, anyway as I was very upset my husband made the call to tell them of our decision and approx 6.45pm, he was specifically told that as it was after a certain time of evening this could not be done until the Wednesday morning and if we changed our mind and felt we wanted to continue treatment we should phone them and let them know, so heres the problem...at 11.30 pm the Tuesday evening i asked my husband to phone them again to see if maybe there had been an improvment in her condition, he was then told that Smokey(R.I.P) had been pts 2 hours earlier...we were horrified to say the least, yes i know we had given permision for them to do this but how come one minute they say they CANT (for some reason) not do this until the next morning but went ahead and done it anyway, do I have reason to complain? have wrote a letter ready to pst asking for an explanation at least, just wanted some opinions on this before I do post it.

Many thanks

First of all, I'm really sorry for your loss, and can understand you're upset that you thought Smokey was still alive when you called, only to find out she'd been pts without a phone call informing you of this.

But have they said why they did it after saying they couldn't? Perhaps something unexpected and terrible happened to Smokey, or they could see that she was suffering a lot more than they'd expected, and that it was so bad that they thought it was the best option not to wait until the next morning after all.

But I do agree that they should have telephoned you as soon as they were going to do it, or at least after they'd done it and fully explained themselves. That I would most definitely complain about I'd be devastated if that would happen to me regarding one of my babies. Because, as a pet lover, I'm sure you can understand that sometimes, the pain you feel over losing a pet can be so similar to the pain of losing a family member because, well, they are family members!

Have they said anything to you?

EDIT: Don't know how this will go down but, I also wouldn't be happy with "we were too busy to call". In two hours, they couldn't find anyone to call you?! I would've thought vets understand how important peoples pets are to them and would at least try and inform you before, if not straight after it happened (like I've already said)

I know there's not much you can do about it if that is their excuse (that they couldn't find anyone to contact you in over TWO HOURS! ) but let them know how disappointed and upset you are over the whole affair. Let them know what they did was irresponsible and unfair (as in, failing to contact you). SOrry I'm getting so irate but like I said, I'd be fuming if this happened to me

I suppose it would depend on what your husband specifically told them.
If he was emphatic that you had decided and were not going to re-consider, and a vet happened to unexpected be there for something else who could see to Smokeys PTS at that point then IMO it would be reasonable and caring of them to want to stop any suffering or discomfort for her asap, not wait until the morning.
I would hope if they had seen any improvement at that point they would have double checked with you in light of that and I think it likely that the action was taken because Smokey had either not improved, or possibly taken a turn for the worse and so they saw this as best for her.
It's always a very difficult decision to make for your pet but, grief and loss aside, would you have decided anything different if there was no marked improvement when you called later?
I would suggest you maybe wrote a polite letter just asking for an explanation, rather than making a complaint, say you were confused by how events panned out and just nicely ask them to explain what happened.
Depending on the explanation you can then decide your next step.
So sorry for your loss with Smokey, they leave such a hole in your life

thanks for your replies,im so confused now,, i just cant get my head around this, i can see where you are coming from chuck_wippl, i would not have wanted Smokey to suffer for one minute, with a previous cat of ours at the same surgery i was phoned before we had arrived home to be told that she had deteriated and best for her to be pts as she wouldnt live half an hour and she was suffering, as i said previously my husband had given the go ahead with Smokey, i just cant understand how they said,ok thats what you have decided to do and we will do it, but CANT until the next morning, i realy dont know what the reason was as to why they couldnt, it wasnt a case of ok we will do it tomorrow, but if you change your mind phone us, how CANT they do then just do it anyway, without a call saying something like she is in pain or something to that effect, the letter i have wrote is along the lines of 'we want an explanation' its not nasty or anything or threatening, what if we had of changed our minda and decided we would give it overnight to see if she had improved?? it would have been too late, as it was anyway.

I think Tass gave an explanation as to why they may not have thought they couldn't do it until the next morning. It was after hours, maybe they didn't have the staff there to do the procedure and were originally going to wait for a vet to arrive for morning surgery, but a vet happened to arrive that evening for some other reason and they thought it best to go ahead.

I do think they should have called to tell you, and to double check, the fact that they didn't may have just been miscommunication, the vet concerned may have thought you had given permission for it to be done and not known about the timing issue. But I do think they owe you an explanation.

It must be making it more upsetting and stressful for you worrying about this. You and the vet both wanted what was best for smokey and she is now at peace.
x

I'm sorry about your poor Smokey, but had it been my vet, I know she would have rung me to explain the situation before putting him to sleep and depending on the circumstances, she may also have asked if I wanted to come and say goodbye and give me the chance to be with him during the procedure. It does seem quite contradictory to be told one minute that he couldn't be PTS until the next day and then you learn that Smokey had already been PTS!

i think thats deplorable. My vet would have phoned me to inform me and give me the option of going in. Crikey they even phoned when one of mines was in for night. They wanted me to know that they'd ate their supper and had settled down. I.m so sorry for your loss. I.m sorry you weren't there at the end. Xxx

How about starting with something like: "We're a bit confused about what happened with Smokey because of (a & b), Could you explain what happened please."

It may be they didn't wish to distress you by calling to ask again if you wanted them to go ahead

When I had to have my horse put down I really didn't want to know precisely what time it was going to happen and to be imagining it then .

Or, as I said before, it may depend a lot on what your husband said. For example when told about the times he may have said something that they took to mean you definately wouldn't change your minds and that you definately wanted Smokey PTS asap.

If you don't like their answer, or don't consider it answers your questions, you can be more emphatic and less polite in the next letter but if their reply makes sense to you you haven't offended anyone. People will often give more information more willingly if you don't make them feel defensive

So sorry for your loss Lindy and I completely understand your confusion. I do feel quite strongly about this. It appears to be a classic case of miscommunication i.e. you and your hubby are told one thing yet they do another. In any organisation this can cause trouble but in a medical environment such miscommunication can lead to more dire results.

Whilst dear Smoky may not have pulled through perhaps you or your hubby (or both) may have wanted to be present at the end - a point you should make in your letter. The vet management should also investigate the breakdown in communication to ensure it does not happen again.

In your letter ask for a full explanation of events; ask if the phone calls are logged; ask why you were not called prior to the procedure and given the opportunity to be with Smoky at the end; hope or expect the vets to examine procedures to ensure no such failings in the future.

I hope this helps Lindy, and R.I.P Smoky xx

Lindy, I am so sorry. I really feel for you and hubby, you should have been contacted before they carried out the procedure, to ask if you both wished to be there. They have a duty of care to the animals they treat of course, but they also have a duty of care towards the owners, and they failed dismally in my op.

I do think a letter is a good first step, (make sure you make a copy of the letter you send for yourself) I also think you ought to request a meeting with the practice manager/head vet, or whoever is in charge.

You and hubby took the heartbreaking choice to let Smokey sleep peacefully, but, after being told that it wouldn't happen until the following day, arrangements could have been made for you both to be there at the end. They failed to give you that opportunity.

I am so sorry, and feel extremely cross for you. ((hug))

thank you shuttermaze, as it happens on the first night that she was taken to the hospital, i was already for when my husband came in from work to go and see Smokey, but when i phoned up and spoke to the vet to see how she was, i asked if i could visit her and was told no because it was after 6pm,i was told that i could visit the next day but as i suffer from agoraphobia and can not go out alone i relied on my husband to take me by car, so i never got to say goodbye to her

I also think this is a sound idea, especially if it genuinely was a case of miscommunication.

Still though R.I.P. Smokey ((((hugs))))

Ohh Lindy, I can totally understand how you must be feeling. And can imagine you're both going through so many emotions at the moment. I really think you ought to make contact with them tomorrow, to ask to make an appointment to talk through what happened, and to give them the letter.
I really do hope they can offer you a full explanation as to why what happened, happened. And that as a result of how you, the owners are now left feeling, can make positive steps to make sure that in future, contact is always made to the owners before such a procedure takes place. It's common courtesy after all.

Do keep us informed on how things go hun, and know that we're all thinking of you. xx

Lindy, did your husband say that you/he would like to be present when smokey was PTS, or to say goodbye on last time beforehand? From what you have said, it sounds like he didn't, as it was left that you could call if you changed your mind but there was no mention of going to see her.

I know the situation is very painful, but it could be that the vet was doing the best for smokey in not allowing her to suffer any longer, and not wanting to put you through the ordeal of asking again when they thought they had your answer.

hi, no the vet didnt ask if we wanted to be there, but to be honest im not sure i would have liked to be there, but would have been nice to see her beforehand, i know what you are saying about not letting her suffer and i wouldnt have wanted her too, i still feel we have been missled, i just dont think this should have happend

Lindy, you feel upset and angry and for good reason. Of course you wouldn't have wanted Smoky to suffer but you should, at least, have been given the choice to see her.

Do now what you think is best either write or speak to the surgery.

And, remember the happy times with a much loved family pet. She will always be in your heart.

Did you tell the vet that you would like to see her again?

Please let us know the vet's reply to your letter. I hope that s/he answers your questions satisfactorily, these situations are often far from ideal but as long as the best was done for smokey I hope you feel you can come to terms with it.

well i have posted a letter off today, just basically telling them how i feel and ask a few questions,i didnt actually tell them i wanted to see her but they knew because i had asked to see her on the tuesday night but wasnt allowed, below is my first attempt at posting a picture on here so i hope it works, if it does i will be well pleased, means i can more on the pet pictures thread

my smokey (R.I.P)

http://img203.imageshack.us/img203/1021/0000074.jpg

wow it worked

aw she is beautiful, what a sad loss. Feeling pretty choked now I.ve had to have so many of my hairy bairns put to sleep thru the years and i remember them all like yesterday. I hope you get the closure you need from the vet.

Lindy what a beautiful pic.

Aww Lindy, what a beautiful cat Smokey was. I really do hope you hear back from the vets asap. Once again hun, I'm really sorry, big hugs to you and your hubby.xxx

What a lovely fluffy kitty!!!!

I love how her nose is kinda grey like her coat. That's cool.

RIP Smokey You're a very pretty kitty..

thank you everyone, being on here has helped so much to come to terms with her loss thanks again

quick update...the manageress phoned me tonight, they have checked the computer logs and spoken to all concerned in the practice, and it seems my husband misheard on the phone, although he is adamant that that is what was said, she was very apologetic, and asked if i wanted something in writing, which i said no, i just wanted an explanation, so i will leave it at that, thanks to all for their advice and concerns.