I liked LG dirty Den in the 80s and i think he came back as he was tempted( big ego boost, money) but ohh how the world has changed

When he returnsDD LG everything is changed u can be a celeb now if u either if you

A: have been in loaded mag and apeared in a soap

B: have been in the Bill Hollyoaks Bad Girls or a child star from anysoap .
(Your agent probably spends so much time arse licking to get there fee they will sell you to anyone) BUT HEY.you get to be a star make a few grand by shagging a footballer if you are lucky u might snare David Beckham

C: Your parents paid you to go to that Sylvia Young School and you liked Bros or East 17

Anyway when Den returned from his extended holiday in Spain his real life hol he came back to a different Walford
A Walford with mobile phones a world were Kat and Sonia are sex goddesses and his daughter looks like Donatella.

He has found out he has a son Dennis who is also a sex goddess (erm explain that one i would rather s### my Rampant Rabbit) he also finds Vicky (who he last saw when she was 2 )has turned into a childlike elf extra from Lord of the rings with an accent like Orlando Bloom one min to Liv Taylor the next

He also find out that ohh noone has a washing machine but have computers ie Dot sonia

and he relises hes not a God no more not even Kat will have him or Sam or even Pauline
so what does he do he locks himself in his dressing room gets his Knob out to a computer screen sucks his finger and trys CYBERSEX and what happens silly old fool gets caught lol

Ohh and if you want to be a Z-List Celeb

Heres what to do join MSN
Buy a Web Cam
Get a friend to get you the link called
howtoshaggacelebwithoutbodilycontact.com
save all e mails mesages texts picture phones and web cams a bonus

ring all major newspapers
get the one who will offer you Max Clifford as an agent (you know u are on to a winner then)

SIT BACK AND WAIT TO BE INVITED TO A MOVIE PREMIER

Great message there Donna!

That has really cheered up my dull day!

Glad to here Neiley if i can make at one person at least smile each day i am happy have you read my why eastenders is rubbish now thread now thats a laugh and its 4 pages long its were i got the idea for this thread from

I shagged dot cotton can I sell my story

lol was she good

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004210598,00.html

den gets shunned

Im just waiting to hear from my agent Rex Clipboard

My source in the writers camp at EE told me today that Mal Young and Louise Berridge as well as the team of writiers WILL GET RID OF LESLIE GRANTHAM.
Grant Mitchell is coming back and in a fight at angies den he will accidentally kill dirty den, with sharon overlooking by accident. Dennis wants revenge on the mitchells and goes after grant in a big way who disappears again. I have just heard they have just signed cameo deal for ross kemp to return for five episodes only with salary of 100,000 pounds total.it is true also that alfie sleeps with little mo and kat comes back after birth of own baby and begins living with andy.
billy mitchell kills himself in sams house found by kat and andy.
vicky goes back to america getting pregnant by mickey.
queen vic has recently been blown up supposedly by dirty den hence the secret filming until 22nd may. watts take over the vic meantime only as i said for dirty den to be killed later by grant.
chloe is also back to martin and sonia only to die from menengitis.martin and sonia split and find love separetly martin with younger sister of chrissie coming into show and sonia with a doctor from the hospital to be played by darren day

What ever you're on - can I have a pint of it please?

Well my sources tell me that the BBC have signed up Bet Lynch and she and Dirty Den are going to have a torrid affair. She will accidentally kill him with her bussoms...

he he he will rex be my agent ask him i did shag a stripper once lol
and he was from the dreamboys lol lol 10 yrs ago

very funny len fairclough why dont you call CMA ross kemp agent so they will confirm he has signed contract.
a production assistant at the beeb in borehamwood is my next door neighbour for your info and everything she has told me so far happens

i will tell you all something else louise berridge contract not extended herself she will be moved to drama dept as producer at wood lane w2 beeb studios

How come i dont know all this inside info first is it cause me is from north east lol

Im sure his emplyers will be pleased to know he carries tales out of school

do u think nobody tell secrets. how do u thunk the papers get the inside scoop. whenever there is a demand there is money and greed money talks and so do the people that have secrets do u really think bbc pays a fortune to their crew and cast. everyone is always out to make more money and if it means either cast or crew telling a few secrets for money tey will do it. dont be so naive honey
one of the actors in ee i know for a fcat sells the inside spoilers to a major sunday newspaper via his sister.

Im not naive - but a good agent never reveals his sources

BTW when did I become your honey sweetheart

Who's this insider then Jackanory?

If Vicki is going back to America after getting pregnant by Mickey, why would Michelle be coming back? Get a grip...

michelle may come back with grants lovechild and takes over the vic much to dens annoyance lol

If Chelle couldnt even come back for Marks funeral then she wont come back for anything

I thought it was confirmed last week that she would be back, but not Sue Tully-a different actress...