Okay we have this thread for all the various reality shows.

It's an alternative viewpoint and hopefully funny and entertaining to see us through the series.

I will start by saying that I'm asking for a police car to be sent straight up to Middlesbrough for Jessica after she absolutely murdered one of my favourite songs.

I'm willing to forgive her this once because I still think she has genuine potential.

But don't do it again Jess!

Whilst youre there could you send a dentist to Emilie. You could park buses between the space of her front teeth.

Well I heard she was on a gap year from university.

Could you also send the police to pick up danielle and Jenny for crimes against acting. Seriously girls, just tone it down. That also applies to Scouse Steph (although the make-up artists already seem to be trying to take her down a peg or too), Jessica and Bronte.

I've never really watched the female ALW vehicle but are they always this hammy?

More ham than the Sainsbury's meat counter.

Get's even hammier next week when they start chasing pigs.

How dare you. I won't go to see the show unless Dorothy is a top hand at mucking out the pigs.

I hate it when they suddenly throw their hands back and start running towards the camera as if they were about to jump into the audience.

I could understand it if the fire alarm had suddenly gone off, but I think it's usually just Graham Norton laughing.

none of them wowed me to be honest

But I agree Jessica murdered that song.

Could someone tape ALW fingers together and stop that awful , rude and horrible finger pointing he does .
Its simply awful to watch

Whenever the camera goes to ALW during the girls singing he seems to be mumbling to himself and pulling weird faces which is a bit off-putting. He did some very strange looks during Jessica's performance and I thought he hated it but no, as it turns out he loved it.

You can actually physically see him mouthing "no, no, no!" under his breath.

And then come the end of the performance, he returns to the agreed script and starts taking about painting roads red etc.

Please could someone send me some cotton wool balls due to Emilie making my ears bleed.......

Great songwriters available like Gershwin, Berlin, Novello, Rodgers & Hammerstein and we get Pixie Lott, Pink and the god awful Saturdays!

I expect he is in a tricky situation, I have no doubt he already has Dani lined up for the part but has to be very careful that he doesnt slate someone who will then get the public behind them and put pay to his plans. I think he will play it very diplomatically so he doesnt raise any hackles during the course of the competition.

Why is it that when I see Jodie Prenger, I always imagine her sat on Blackpool seafront eating chips out of a newspaper and telling a dirty joke before cackling loudly?

Well I think we should be pointing the finger at him anyway.

All point the middle finger at him and see how he likes it ,so so rude

Just watched the best bits back again. Unfortunately they were pretty fleeting and were over before my kettle had boiled.

Can't believe the awful choices of songs. So many were actually painful to listen to.

A lot of people vote for the song and therefore some of those girls have no chance. Whereas Lauren, for example, is an absolute shoe-in singing 'Run' by those rock 'divas' Snow Patrol.

And why is it when TV get hold of these girls they always end up sounding and in many cases looking the same?

Maybe there was a lot of understandable nerves, but the likes of Sophie and Jess, who impressed before, didn't really cut it this time. And Dani obviously has a voice but that song absolutely killed her. Jenny, I like, but the programme chiefs tried their best to end her chances.

Those that weren't simply bad were just awfully bland (including the 'Chosen One'). The show started promisingly but in the end rather fell away. And in most cases I don't think that was actually the girls' faults.

I found it hilarious that ALW kept telling them they are auditioning for Dorothy and to remeber that when singing
Then they sing " Rehab " and If I were a boy !!!!

Unfortunately it was probably the production team that chose the likes of Rehab, Rock Star and I was a boy.

Thought week 1 was excellent, and the girls were actually quite good - unlike the dreadful "Nancy" show.

But, oh dear, week 2........ the only way to enjoy that was enjoyable was with the sound on MUTE!

Some quite wince-making over acting going on. Jessica and that song. Oh dear God. And who's the Scottish bint who tried to do Pink? Gahhhh.

Poor old Lord. When he forgets about the camera he does look quite gaga and away with the fairies. Pulls very odd faces and looks a bit like a bewildered 90 year old with dementia wondering where his nurse has gone. Oh, there's Graham at his side, the Court Jester. All better now.

I think ALW is acutely embarrased by the show but knows it has to go on. I suspect Graham knows exactly how to handle him.

If you catch a glimpse of the judges when they think the camera is elsewhere you'll see Charlotte slump in her seat with boredom.

Do love Sheila. She's so 50s 'luvvie' and so fab

His face-pulling seems to bear no relevance to what he actually says. And that finger pointing is just awful!

I think someone needs to remind the wardrobe people that Dorothy is a child. What was with the chiffon bit on the gingham dresses?

How many times is Charlotte going to mention a big instrument.

And does she think she is actually on another show?