Well, since I haven't seen or heard a top forty chart since before the demise of TOTP and wouldn't even know where it's found (mainly due to chronic disinterest) I thought Id actually listen to it because there were sound clips. It was pretty much as bad as I anticipated.
1. Autotune abuse. Ugh. It's so damned prevalent. I'm supposed to know about things like this because I like Hip Hop but it's faaaaaaaaar from the music I love.
2. Sounds like a Rihanna wannabe (can't think what the sample is but it was a previous hit).
3. Autotune again. Therefore sh*te.
4. Sounds like something that could appeal to an older audience too.
5. A shock when I realised what was going on! More later...
6. Bland, bland, bland.
7. Not really my thing but no wonder he's popular when you consider the rest here...
8. Not really my thing either but listenable.
9. Slightly funky. Singing on the verse is horrible though.
10. A great example of why I hate *most* modern R&B.
11. Not what I was expecting. I liked it less than I anticipated.
12. Another Rihanna soundalike with a bit of a Caribbean-lite vibe going on.
13. More generic sounding Pop.
14. More spoken singing.
15. Hate the vocal. Why can no one making Pop sing properly anymore?
16. Generic. Song might be okay if it was covered by someone like Chanté Moore and given a decent arrangement.
17. Sounds like an autotuned primary school kid. Worse than death.
18. A plinky, chipmunky, crap Salt'n'Pepa cover.
19. Generic
20. More light keys and crap vocal like most everything else.
21. What passes for Hip Hop now. Sad.
22. I'm aware of Popcaan because I listen to Jamaican music but I don't like him and there is a special place in hell for autotune.
23. Maybe slightly better than average?
24. One of the best so far, perhaps.
25. Also slightly better than average despite the anti-vocals?
26. More Rihannaness. Awful. Inconsequential.
27. Plinking keys and someone talking. Atonal misery.
28. More digital farting and horrid vocals.
29. It's got that Eurodance anthem style going on but I hate Eurodance.
30. Inoffensive which I usually find quite an offensive characteristic in music. Better than average. At least it's not a Cliff cover.
31. Another post-Rihanna non-singer. Vile.
32. With a different vocalist this could be okay. A bit Chic-esque. Why must all these pillocks sing like they've got a clothes peg on their schnozzle?
33. Better than average.
34. Unlistenable.
35. Yet another half-baked song with the same line repeated over.
36. More irritating non-vocals.
37. Bloody autotune and that commercial Caribbeaneque vibe. Rancid.
38. Jesus wept. People have been disembowelled for less!
39. Trap like. Afwul shouty vocals - shouty but bland - quite an achievement.
40. Might need to hear more of the track than the clip provides. Possibly better than average.
I think I'd need Prozac or a litre of Scotch to attempt to listen to the whole lot in their entirety.
Number 5 was a great record and really didn't need that Kungs guys anywhere near it. Sung by Australia's talented Kylie... Ms. Auldist.
The miles better original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RXplPikeXA
An antidote to the tripe I've just subjected myself too.
I can see that some people really enjoy this music but if you don't, instead of complaining, simply ignore the top forty and listen to something else. Better for the soul.