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Major Spoiler! |
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#1 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 143
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Major Spoiler!
Steve Owen returns to walford, and traps sharon in the club. He threatens her with an ashtray, and tells her how he cruelly ended Saskias life back in 1999. He brings the ashtray down upon her head, and she lays lifeless in the darkness of the club. Steve pays a visit to Billy Mitchell, and tells him how he managed to crawl out of the car moments before it blew up. He laid low, and after Phil disapeared, Steve has returned to bring down Phils empire. Meanwhile, Billy has dialed Phils number, and the phone lays on the other side of the room with Phil listenening. Phil returns to the square, but Steve traps him in one of the pits at the Arches. He has a petrol can, and empties the contents around the garage, while telling phil about how he had sex with Phils ex-wife Kathy during the millenium party for Ian and Steves wedding. He takes a lighter from his pocket and drops it onto the contents of the petrol can, but it was just water, and phil lays in a crumpled heap crying his eyes out. At this precise moment, a wheel wrench comes down on Steves head, and as he falls to the floor, Grant Mitchells grinning face is standing behind where he was. "Alright Bruv" are his first words, and they take Steves body to the canal, where they throw him in.
After returning to the square, they decide to talk Den Watts into helping out with a robbery at the local nail bar, but during the robbery, Phil stabs Den in the eye with a nail file, and leaves him in agony whilst he and grant escape through a cat flap in the back door. As the police close in, Den realises his time is up, and he puts his head inside a perming machine, in an attempt to disguise himself. This plan does not work, and he is jailed for life. Grant and Phil have all the money. They play poker in 'Angies Den' with Dennis, if Dennis wins, then the brothers will cut a deal to shorten dens sentence, but if they win... then "Angies Den" is signed over to them. They stitch Dennis up, and get ownership of Angies Den. Grant rings his old mate Nigel, who comes back to resume his role as manager of the video store. A large explosion rips through the building however, and Nigel perishes, along with his libery of films... or does he? In the confusion following the blast, nobody has noticed a familiar face has returned to walford. Barry Evans is back. Turns out that he pretended to die... and later faked his own funeral and cremation. He meets with Pat, and thanks her for ridding walford of Janine... but unbeknown to Pat and Barry, Janine has been released from prison, and while Pat and Barry watch home movies of Roy selling used cars... Janine sneaks into the house and smacks Pat on the head with a crowbar.... Barry is afraid... but Janine says she has always loved him, and asks him to come for a ride in her new people carrier. Barry agrees, and they go for a drive, but Barry brings his Take That - Greatest hits CD with him, and plays it loud as Janine drives quickly through walford... She grips the wheel and shouts "I LOVE YOU BARRY" and drives into the canal.... the car sinks quickly.... and janine perishes in the car.... Barry is trapped and is almost dead when a ghostly figure opens the door and swims to the surface with Barry... its Steve Owen, and Barry returns to Walford to face the police, who think that he killed Janine and Pat. Meanwhile, Frank Butcher returns, and falls into the arms of Dot Cotton. Dot leaves Jim, but doesn't tell him why. Jim is distressed, and turns to the bottle. Whist drunk he goes round to Franks to ask his new mate for advice. Frank has left the door slightly open and Jim stumbles in... and finds Frank and Dot in bed..... he feels betrayed, and slays them both with the aid of a set of chopsticks. He is returning home, unable to cope with what he has done, when the clock chimes midnight, and as he staggers across the road, he is hit by a car.... its Patrick, and Jim dies in the road outisde the queen vic. Meanwhile the slaters discover something terrible lurking in their house... Trevor Morgan didn't actually die, and has lain in wait under the floorboards of little mos old bedroom, and when she returns home, he climbs up from his hiding place as she sleeps... Alfie is in bed with little mo though, and he has a pair of big mos pants under his pillow, although he later claims he doesn't know why they were there... but anyway, he suffocates Trevor with the pants, and takes him round to Ians chip shop. Ian is alfies best mate, and they agree to use trevor for some deep fried burgers, and they feed walford on trevors corpse for months. Yolandie and Patrick decide to try for a baby, and after a week of trying, Yolandie falls pregnant. They are delighted, but when yolandie gives birth, the baby has ginger hair, and patrick cannot accept it as his own. The whole of the square questions whos baby it could be.... well this is solved... Bianca Jackson has had pioneering surgery and returned to Walford as a man.... with fully operational sexual organs... she falls in love with Yolandie, who is unaware of her female past..... TBC Last edited by notapopidol : 12-05-2004 at 15:40. |
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#2 |
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Posts: n/a
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![]() Very good. I doubt it's true, but it's very funny! Matt |
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Stalking David and Neal
Posts: 38,047
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notapopidol
, Den realises his time is up, and he puts his head inside a perming machine, in an attempt to disguise himself. This plan does not work
Sadly I'm at work and random bouts of laughing in the office are frowned on, boss has started glaring at me
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#4 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 143
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I'll keep adding to it, i've sent the scriptwriters a copy.
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#5 |
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Posts: n/a
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It's getting even better! Keep it up!
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#6 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Stalking David and Neal
Posts: 38,047
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Come on, I'm on tenderhooks here, this is soooooo much better then EE (although the mental image of Frank and Dot in bed together is one I shall surely take to my grave
)
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#7 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Krycek
That one phrase has made me laugh like a drain
Sadly I'm at work and random bouts of laughing in the office are frowned on, boss has started glaring at me ![]() This is fab, much better than any episode of EE's I'm likely to watch in a hurry.
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#8 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Co. Down Northern Ireland
Posts: 3,800
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FN brill much better than the crock of S**t they churn out now. Well done
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#9 |
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Posts: n/a
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Clearly the work of a warped mind. We'd be prepeared to take you on as a staffwriter at the BBC on a salary of £75K per annum.
Note - could do with a bit of polishing to inject more drama, but will do for the episode on Monday 28 June. Rudi |
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#10 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Co. Down Northern Ireland
Posts: 3,800
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rudi
Clearly the work of a warped mind. We'd be prepeared to take you on as a staffwriter at the BBC on a salary of £75K per annum.
Note - could do with a bit of polishing to inject more drama, but will do for the episode on Monday 28 June. Rudi
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#11 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 143
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They e-mailed me back today saying that they are contacting the actors involved and shooting will begin in July
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#12 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Stalking David and Neal
Posts: 38,047
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notapopidol
They e-mailed me back today saying that they are contacting the actors involved and shooting will begin in July
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#13 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Co. Down Northern Ireland
Posts: 3,800
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notapopidol
They e-mailed me back today saying that they are contacting the actors involved and shooting will begin in July
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#14 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Guildford, Surrey
Posts: 156
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You had me going there for a sec !!!
Looking forward to the next installment |
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#15 |
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Posts: n/a
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Possible next installment:
An alien spacecraft hovers over the queen Vic searching for its ambassador on Earth. But alas, they cannot find him. Then he is spotted, in a cell near the local customs office.
He is beamed up, and placed back down in the square, returned to his on Earth family, yes Dan Ferrero is back. The family rejoyce with the line "Ambassador, you are spoling us" (Cue large groan at awful joke! Matt PS. For those who didn't get it, Ferreira to Ferrero as in Ferrero Roche (the chocolates) Last edited by matt_thecolin : 14-05-2004 at 22:53. Reason: Typo |
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#16 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,484
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Arthur Fowler wakes up in the bath and realises the past 10 years have all been a dream!
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#17 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: South Wales
Posts: 110
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Please post the next part, this is hilarious!
Angel
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#18 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Black Country lad in Yorkshire
Posts: 118,101
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You'll get no thanks from me, you have spoilt it for me now. Ah well, my fault for reading it.
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#19 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In The Pub
Posts: 1,772
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notapopidol
. Phil returns to the square, but Steve traps him in one of the pits at the Arches. He has a petrol can, and empties the contents around the garage, while telling phil about how he had sex with Phils ex-wife Kathy during the millenium party for Ian and Steves wedding. He takes a lighter from his pocket and drops it onto the contents of the petrol can, but it was just water, and phil lays in a crumpled heap crying his eyes out. At this precise moment, a wheel wrench comes down on Steves head, and as he falls to the floor, Grant Mitchells grinning face is standing behind where he was. "Alright Bruv" are his first words, and they take Steves body to the canal, where they throw him in.
Very good
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